So, you all may have noticed that shit has been pretty slow… again. Yes, I know, there’s always a period where shit slows down and I experience some sort of burnout, and then I say things will be different from that point on. Well, this time, I’ve come to realize that the reason I’ve had difficulty posting consistent content is because I’ve been dealing with symptoms of severe PTSD, brought about by the past few years, with causes ranging from online cyberstalking, as well as the realization that some former associates of mine have engaged in some highly disturbing and criminal acts involving children.

Given the lull in content of the past few months, I feel as though I owe a bit more elaboration on some of these matters. You know how this year has had an increased focus on serious, long form articles discussing people engaged in criminal behavior? Yeah, I’ve spent most of the past year wondering “how the fuck did I get wrapped up in all this?” I’ve already talked about how the previous year lead to me getting doxxed and experiencing cyber stalking, and that for a few months last year, I thought I was a fucking pedophile. No one tells you how much that fucks with your mental state, or how despair inducing it is. Last year was the darkest period of my life, and I have to continuously see people who call themselves “progressives” sharing screenshots of that time period to win internet points against me, oftentimes unaware of the fact that they are aiding people who actually DO abuse children in the process… or maybe they do and they just don’t care.

The person responsible for these posts getting leaked is a detransitioned trans woman named Cassandra Mel. Earlier this year, I posted a piece recounting my experience with this person, and how they took advantage of my desire to help them to abuse me in private, and to attempt to coerce me into illegal activity. This is often cited as Cassandra herself convincing me I was a pedophile, but in actuality, I already had those thoughts, because I have Pedophillia OCD, a variant of OCD based around recurring intrusive thoughts of pedophilic subject matter, and thoughts that one is a pedophile. It’s a condition that is common in survivors of CSA, as being a victim of child sexual abuse tends to drastically effect one’s sexual development.

Despite the fact that Cassandra has objectively done more harm to me than any of them, the online left has continued to hold a grudge against me because I tried to help this person, while at the same time, sharing their exact line of attack that I’m an angry ex who is mad that I was outted as a pedophile, and these “leftists” have continued to insist that I’m not a real victim and that I was abusive to him. All while sharing false allegations of grooming in my old Discord server that I disproved over a year ago. I actually had a Youtuber named Spinling single me out on a live stream based on a Youtube comment I made, and claimed they “did their research” on me. By which he means he uncritically parroted every accusation against me, and proceeded to gaslight me for not going on his stream to talk to him when he made it clear he had no intention of engaging in good faith. At one point, this Youtuber (or one of his douchebag friends) not so subtlety implied that CEO of Fate committing revenge porn against me wasn’t a bad thing, and that it would have only been bad if Fate’s claim that my server contain CSEM was true, because then he’d be engaging in CSEM distribution.

But I need to make it clear, it’s not just the cruel mistreatment I’ve faced that has delayed progress on my work. In fact, that’s the part that I’m the least concerned about. Rather, it’s the fact that for the past few years, I’ve basically went from “posting about politics online and getting into arguments with stupid people,” to going to war with child predators. Yes, I know, it sounds very fucking stupid when I say it like that, so let me assure you all that I have not decided to become MamaMax 2.0. Really, none of this was an intentional direction for me.

Some of you may assume this is about creeps like Ivad or CEO of Fate, but in all honesty, I’m not even concerned about them anymore. I intended to make a follow up piece about Ivad, but that got derailed when I realized just how far Cassandra Mel has sank. Yes, the same person who gaslit and blackmailed me, and who confessed to consuming CSEM managed to sink even deeper. Not gonna lie, I miss the time when that was as far as I thought he was going to go. I’ve alluded to some of this shit in my latest piece about the Poppy drama (which I am also dropping out of, I stand by everything I said, there’s just nothing else to add). The shit that Cass did to me, does not even compare to the shit she’s done to his other victims, most of whom were minors.

I need to emphasize, this is not your ordinary grooming callout, the shit that Cass did is so fucked that I will not be sharing it here, though I will when I get to writing that piece. I already stated that this piece will not be written until Cass is either arrested or dead, as to prevent any action on her part, but it’s been unbearably tempting to get it over with, because the shit I’ve had to see and here has become so scarring that it is actively painful to keep it to myself. I feel genuinely sick just thinking about him.

That wasn’t even everything though. I’ve also decided to look into Emma Bradley, a woman I mentioned offhandedly in my piece about Ivad Yurei. I said that if she ever came back and started harassment my friends, then she was next, and she did exactly that. So, I went looking into her history, expecting to see a bunch of disgusting groomer shit. However, I didn’t expect it to be THIS fucked. I can’t say for certain that what I found on her isn’t as horrific as what I’ve seen from Cass.

I’m intentionally leaving things vague, because recounting the shit I’ve discovered about either of these two individuals may actually re-trigger me, and I’ve been spending the last few days trying to recover from the trauma sustained from it. I don’t think you get how bad this is. The past four days, I’ve dealt with a sensation that I can only describe as my brain screaming out in constant pain regarding what I discovered.

So, lesson learned from all this is, literally anything can happen, and that the genre of your life can go from drama to horror in the blink of a eye. Naturally, it’s been harder to focus on game reviews because of this shit. Anyway, figured I’d post this just to keep everyone in the loop.

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