Standard Review: Love at first Sight (PC)

Love at First sight | logo

Love at First Sight is a visual novel created by first time developer Creepy Cute, which actually only consists of one person know as Ray-kbys. He has stated that his reason for deciding to make Love at First Sight a visual novel instead of a doujinshi was due to the fact that it is much harder to get a doujinshi published in the US than in Japan (which he has knowledge of due to being born in Japan but living in America). However he did end up realizing that creating a game is not an easy task and even saying that he may have bit off a bit more than he could chew (though that isn’t a direct quote mind you).

Love at First Sight is made to feature an original character Ray created through Deviantart submissions before he ever considered the idea of the game. Said character was a shy girl named Sachi Usui who has only one eye and lot of scars (which he admits in the game’s extra features was because he had a fetish for both Cyclops and scars). The story is not told from her perspective however. It is instead told from the point of view of Mamoru, a boy who falls for her moe charm. Read more

Deadly Towers (NES): Deathly Underrated (Detailed Review)

Deadly Towers | jp box

Look up in the sky! It’s a bird! it’s a plane! It’s….

CAPTAIN CONTRARIAN!!!!!

And she’s here to say that one of the most reviled NES games of all time is… actually pretty damn good. Yes, I fucking said it! Seanbaby is a fucking hack! Do you wanna fight about it? Well I hope not because I’m not willing to pay travel expenses to challenge random strangers to fights over video games. Also I have weak girly HRT muscles.

Anyway yes, I not only enjoyed this game but I think it is among one of the most underrated games on the system AND showed a lot of innovation and creativity for its time. I just want to remind everyone that this game was originally released in 1986, only about 9 months after Zelda 1.

That is not to say that Deadly Towers does not have some terrible design decisions or oversights, but I have yet to see many who give credit to many of the game’s stronger points in favor of placing it on the same tier of trash as licensed LJN shit. There is no reason for this to have been rated as the worst NES game above shit like Action 52, The Uncanny X-Men, or just about any licensed movie tie in. At the very least, Deadly Towers is overhated. Read more

Mutiny!! (PC): All Hands on Dick! (Detailed Review) (NSFW)

Mutiny!! | Cast

When you are a game like Mutiny!!, you pretty much have people sold on the premise alone. I mean, who wouldn’t want to delve into a visual novel about a lesbian sex worker who inherits a role as a ship captain of a bunch of lesbian monster girls? Most of my expectations were met with Mutiny!! but there were some areas where it kinda fell short and I don’t feel as enthusiastic about it as i am writing this as when I initially completed it. Don’t get me wrong, this game is great, but I do feel there are some ways it could have been better. It may be difficult to explain how though.

Criticizing Mutiny!! makes me feel similar to when I need to call out a close friend of mine on something I believe they are doing wrong. There is a bit of hesitance put forward because I hold this game in quite high regard, enough that I worry about second guessing myself given my criticism pertains to so rather subtle aspects. I mean sure, there are obvious criticisms to make that only half the routes are available with the initial purchase and the rest are DLC, some of which has still not even been released, but I do admit I was kinda relieved when this game was over and that I didn’t need to redo the same 7 ship battles and puzzles just to see a few extra conversations that Grace has with her first mate. Read more

Standard Review: Heavenly Guardian (PS2/Wii)

Heavenly Guardian | Box Art

Heavenly Guardian seems to have been a game that was a victim to some pretty poor reception if its metacritic page is any indication. Ultimately I would have to say that, while criticism towards this game is not entirely undeserved, it is a bit much to claim it is a bad game because of it. A lot of these reviews simply made claims that the game was “dated” and touched on production values rather than talking about important gameplay elements that can make or break the game as a whole. Read more

Quick Review: Blue Whale (PC)

Blue Whale | header

Tw: Suicide and gore.

Blue Whale is a…weird game, and it is also a creepy one. I’m not entirely sure how to wrap my head around this game given that I can barely tell what it is trying to do. I wouldn’t quite say that it is a bad game but I can’t exactly recommend it due to a variety of reasons.

If one hasn’t caught on based on the title, Blue Whale has the same title as a rumored app that tasks teenagers with tasks meant to wear down their mental state over the course of 50 days until ordering the participant to kill themselves on the final day. There is no concrete proof that such an app ever existed but I do think that a horror adventure title based on a teenage girl playing said game makes for an interesting concept. Unfortunately this game is only loosely based on the rumored app and does not make great use of its premise.

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LISA: The Painful (PC): Crushing, Depressing, Brilliant (Detailed Review)

LISA: The Painful | Gore

LISA: The Painful is newest addition to what I consider to be the “elite” class of games that I have played. As a critic, I have been known to go into meticulous detail about the games that I review AND to be very thorough in explaining why something in a game does or does not work. The reason for this is that I don’t view games as mere “products” like most do. I don’t think that creating an experience that aces the test of time can be propped up to doing the exact same shit as everything else but with better graphics.

My contempt for most professional game critics comes from the fact that they often claim that games are art, yet treat them like products. True works of art are those that break the mold and that put quality and artistic vision over profit. Contrary to popular belief, the game industry is not so stagnated that there are no games with new ideas; they just don’t sell well. Read more

Quick Review: Legend (SNES/PC)

Legend | Boxart

Legend is a 2 beat em up released originally on the Super NES in 1994 in North America and Europe, and re released on Steam in 2015, which is how I came across it. It looked like an interesting beat em up that I picked up during one of the many Steam sales and decided to play recently. I haven’t played too many 2D beat em ups so I’m not in the position to judge how it stacks up to Final Fight, Streets of Rage, or Golden Axe, but I can certainly say I had fun with it despite a few minor gripes. Read more

Standard Review: The Legend of Dragoon (PS1)

The Legend of Dragoon | Logo

This review was certainly put off for quite some time. I should let it be known that I am reviewing this two years after I beat it, but my memory is pretty good in regards to these things. I don’t quite remember why it was that I didn’t write a review at the time but I’m finally going to write it now. The Legend of Dragoon is a fantastic game and quite simply put, it deserves the praise it gets.

The Legend of Dragoon is far from the most original JRPG out there and if you are looking for something unique to the genre then this likely won’t satisfy you. In fact, the game actually had mixed reception at launch. Former IGN reviewer David Smith once said “Games like Legend of Dragoon and Shadow Madness rank among the worst of the previous generation, regardless of genre” only a year after he reviewed it and gave it a 7 out of 10. Yeah, IGN reviewers being incompetent bought out morons is hardly a recent phenomenon. Read more

Steam Greenlight Landfill: Panty Party

Panty Party | Logo

Apparently a lot of women hate the sound of the word “panties.” I cannot say that being deprived of my femininity for 20 years made me yearn for the type of shit that most women don’t even care for and thus fucked me up for life. I actually quite like panties. They are much cuter than men’s underwear and… nope, can’t do it. I can’t bring myself to make an opening monologue about panties. Even I have standards after all, plus it’s one of those things that I just can’t really explain objectively; no one can.

Panty Party on the other hand, can be explained. I’ve mentioned more than enough that “OMG Japan is so fucked up” reactions any time a weird Japanese game exists is not only getting old but is kind of xenophobic. The US has a lot of weird shit to after all. However, something like Panty Party could only come from Japan given that there is a much larger fascination with panties among the opposite sex (of those that usually wear them) over there. However, Panty Party is pretty much an example of a shitpost in game format. Read more

Hatred (PC): Soulless Violence (Detailed Review)

Hatred | Logo

TW: Murder, violence, mentions of ableism.

I’m sure if a few of you thought back to a few years ago, you’d remember a certain title that stirred a lot of controversy for its violent content yet was almost immediately forgotten afterwards. That game was simply titled Hatred and was about a guy with long black hair and a leather jacket going on a killing spree. When it originally came out, I was interested in it but could not play it because my computer was old and crappy which does not work out well when your game is known for being a tremendous resource hog.

Believe it or not though, my interest in Hatred was a bit beyond merely spiting neo Puritans that proclaimed the game a “murder simulator” and proceeded to advocate it getting banned. If I must be honest I find both sides absurd in how they reacted to it. Considering that most of this outrage was before the game was even released and thus before anyone could take the context of the story into account, it was egregious that most of the gaming press proceeded to harp on this game for its extreme violence despite the fact that it really is not that much worse than something like Grand Theft Auto. Read more