Steam Greenlight Landfill: Cube Master: Light Adventure

Cube Master: Light Adventure | Header

Normally I try to write reviews in the order I complete these games in, but I’m going to deviate from this schedule to knock this pile of refuse out first.  The reason for this is not just because of how terrible Cube Master: Light Adventure is, but also because it is so mindlessly simplistic and brief that I will likely forget everything about it by the time I’d get to this normally. Thankfully reviewing this game won’t even mean much because the game is so bad all I need to do is show you the trailer. Read more

Quick Review – Dress to Play: Cute Witches! (3DS)

Dress to Play: Cute Witches is a game that got me based on reading about its premise alone on its e-shop page. The idea was to have a dress up game made for young girls that is about earning new items through gameplay. It mixes the appeal of mixing and matching clothes and accessories to create your ideal yet ads some actual gameplay elements to it so you don’t get bored in less than five minutes. Of course, to most grown adults, the idea of a dress up game sounds incredibly cringe worthy and childish, but there are still some older women such as myself (and some men) who can appreciate the cute appeal of it.

While the premise sounds good on paper, it is not fleshed out nearly enough to satisfy anyone but little girls. The main reasons for this are that, despite the game being inherently deeper than the dress up flash games you can find online, there is still not enough depth to the gameplay to hold one’s attention for very long. Don’t get me wrong, this game can still make a decent time waster for some, but it isn’t going to be enough to satisfy those looking for a deep gaming experience. Read more

Quick Review: LOVE (PC/Switch/Ouya)

LOVE | header

 

LOVE is certainly a unique game to say the least, but unique does not necessarily mean creative in this sense. In actuality, LOVE is an incredibly minimalist platformer that is manages to make a fun game out of incredibly simplistic mechanics and uses everything they can get out of them. Unfortunately LOVE is also a game that is way too brief to really recommend considering how little content it has. LOVE was originally an Ouya exclusive until the beginning of 2014 when it got ported to Steam. So far it is the first and only game to be designed by Fred Wood whose name sounds uncannily similar to Ed Wood. Also it has a very strange choice for a title seeing as how it has nothing to do with the game.

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Quick Review: Mad Father (PC)

I’ve talked about Misao: Definitive Edition a couple weeks ago. I did find that there was at least a marginal amount of appeal to that game, but it fell apart under close scrutiny and it becomes hard to recommend. Mad Father was originally released in 2012 as a freeware title and was the second game developed by Sen after the original version of Misao. Despite this, Mad Father received a remake for Steam before Misao did. After having played both games it is quite obvious as to why; Mad Father is an immensely superior title.

The reason that Mad Father is so much better than Misao can be chalked up to a much more consistent story with much stronger writing. I do not consider Mad Father a perfect game by any stretch and it certainly has its fair share of issues, but I will say that I found this one have much stronger substance in its content and there were at least a few genuinely scary moments. Read more

Quick Review: Always The Same Blue Sky (PC)

Always The Same Blue Sky | Title Screen

Always The Same Blue Sky makes a rather bold claim on its Steam page. In all caps it proclaims “THIS IS NOT YOUR TYPICAL VISUAL NOVEL.” However I am going to have to disagree with that assessment. Always the Same Blue Sky is not bad by any means and does have its good qualities, but it is ultimately way too short and underdeveloped to consider this one to be above average.
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Quick Review: Contraption Maker (PC)

Contraption Maker | header

This is a review that I have been meaning to get to for quite some time yet has been put off for absolutely forever. There was a fairly brief period where I had patrons get to choose reviews for me as a reward on Patreon. There were only three games that were chosen. One of them was of Worms Reloaded, a game I reviewed a while back that no one else seemed to really care about. That game was something I would not normally be interested in but I reviewed it because my then patron John Dolan gifted me a copy on Steam. He also did the same with Contraption Maker.

Yeah, this was why I stopped having review requests as rewards. It just kept getting put off because I normally play these games based on my own level of interest. Contraption Maker just isn’t really the type of game that interests me in concept, and now that I’ve played it, I wouldn’t say it interests me gameplay wise either. Read more

Steam Greenlight Landfill: Insincere

Insincere | Title Screen

I’m not going to waste too much time on this one; Insincere SUCKS!!!

I know that this isn’t the most professional way to start a review but it’s not like anyone actually cares enough about this game to defend it except for maybe its developer… nah they probably don’t either. In all seriousness I know that this can sound cruel to developers who are genuinely invested in their games but just lack the resources or experience to make their games… ya know… good. But on the other hand, this game SUCKS!!! Read more

Steam Greenlight Landfill: Venusian Vengeance

Venusian Vengeance | Logo

The trend of retro styled “throwbacks” on Steam has been well established at this point. Most of these games only ever try to emulate the style of older games without adding much to the table at all. In some cases, you can still wind up with games that are still fun albeit unoriginal. This, however, is not the case with Venusian Vengeance. Instead of being reminiscent of classic NES titles, Venusian Vengeance more so resembles cheap low budget titles that were only played because the box art looked cool. Granted Venusian Vengeance isn’t LJN bad or anything but we really should not be having mediocre licensed NES games in 2015 (or in 2012 when this game was originally released on Desura).
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Quick Review: Blue Whale (PC)

Blue Whale | header

Tw: Suicide and gore.

Blue Whale is a…weird game, and it is also a creepy one. I’m not entirely sure how to wrap my head around this game given that I can barely tell what it is trying to do. I wouldn’t quite say that it is a bad game but I can’t exactly recommend it due to a variety of reasons.

If one hasn’t caught on based on the title, Blue Whale has the same title as a rumored app that tasks teenagers with tasks meant to wear down their mental state over the course of 50 days until ordering the participant to kill themselves on the final day. There is no concrete proof that such an app ever existed but I do think that a horror adventure title based on a teenage girl playing said game makes for an interesting concept. Unfortunately this game is only loosely based on the rumored app and does not make great use of its premise.

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Quick Review: Legend (SNES/PC)

Legend | Boxart

Legend is a 2 player beat em up released originally on the Super NES in 1994 in North America and Europe, and re released on Steam in 2015, which is how I came across it. It looked like an interesting beat em up that I picked up during one of the many Steam sales and decided to play recently. I haven’t played too many 2D beat em ups so I’m not in the position to judge how it stacks up to Final Fight, Streets of Rage, or Golden Axe, but I can certainly say I had fun with it despite a few minor gripes. Read more