Quick Review: Contraption Maker (PC)

Contraption Maker | header

This is a review that I have been meaning to get to for quite some time yet has been put off for absolutely forever. There was a fairly brief period where I had patrons get to choose reviews for me as a reward on Patreon. There were only three games that were chosen. One of them was of Worms Reloaded, a game I reviewed a while back that no one else seemed to really care about. That game was something I would not normally be interested in but I reviewed it because my then patron John Dolan gifted me a copy on Steam. He also did the same with Contraption Maker.

Yeah, this was why I stopped having review requests as rewards. It just kept getting put off because I normally play these games based on my own level of interest. Contraption Maker just isn’t really the type of game that interests me in concept, and now that I’ve played it, I wouldn’t say it interests me gameplay wise either. Read more

The Interview (PC): Possibly the Worst Game of All Time (Detailed Review)

The Interview | title screen

I’d like to start this review off by apologizing to both The Fullbright Company and The Quinnspiracy for my reviews of their games. Gone Home and Depression Quest were the only games I reviewed to score a one out of ten before this one. While I stand by my opinion that both of them are terrible games, I honestly found The Interview so appalling that I do not feel that it deserves the same score as those two games. When I reviewed Gone Home, I made a statement about how there were likely plenty of games that were objectively worse than it despite the scathing nature of the review. I cannot say the same about The Interview. The Interview has got to be among one of the worst games released in this generation, and possibly of all time. The games accomplishes this not only in its lack of quality, but just in its offensiveness and how it represents nearly all of the worst aspects of modern indie gaming and even more.

I am going to start this review out by trying to sum up what few good qualities I can with this game, as tiny and insignificant they may be. To be honest though, the only good thing I can really come up with is that the title theme is pretty nice. Granted it sounds like something that may have been from the public domain, but I’m not going to dwell on that and will take what I can get. The rest of the possible positive aspects are ones that you really need to stretch in order to consider a good quality. You would literally need to MAKE the game entertaining in order to enjoy this. At best, you will end up spending 2 dollars for a twenty minute game with no real gameplay or storyline that just leaves you confused; and that is only if the game successfully tricks you into believing it went over your head. Read more

Amazing VGM: The Dark Colossus Destroys All (NieR)

Ah yes, three of my most shilled games in a row for Amazing VGM. I’d normally do something from Saya no Uta since I just reviewed it but I kinda hinted at this one last week so I better follow through. Anyway I’ve been meaning to touch on this one for a while since it really is an amazing track from an amazing game.

NieR is known for its outstanding music after all, so it’s time to cover a track that was good enough they made it twice! Starting with the original. Read more

Steam Greenlight Landfill: The Path

The Path | Logo

The Path is…. weird. I was considering just not reviewing this game because normally it doesn’t look like good form to say “Fuck I don’t know” in a game review, but that’s basically my thoughts on The Path in a nutshell.

For those unaware, The Path was the first major title of the indie studio Tale of Tales. Tale of Tales is basically the equivalent of if Coda from The Beginner’s Guide actually existed and sold his games. This was a major issue I had with the first game they released, known as The Graveyard. The Path is an improvement over The Graveyard in that there is actual longevity and an overarching story to it. There is actual shit to do and some aspects that are almost kind of like a game. But The Path is not any more enjoyable to play than The Graveyard. Read more

Amazing VGM: All American Badass (LISA: The Joyful)

LISA: The Joyful | Big Lincoln Sends you to Hell

As great as the soundtrack to LISA: The Painful was, its DLC episode LISA: The Joyful fucking OWNS it! My favorite boss theme from The Joyful is the final boss theme Brokentooth March, but the subject of this article is a pretty close second. The title is kinda weird since America doesn’t exist in Olathe but I suppose “All Olathian Badass” just doesn’t have the same flair to it.

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Pony Island (PC): It’s Not About Ponies; But it May as Well be (Detailed Review)

Pony Island | Logo

For a game with such a unique premise, I found myself rather let down by Pony Island. When just about every horror game in existence is based solely around the concept of “run and hide from scary monsters,” one would start to gravitate towards more unique horror games. I always have had a preference for games that can unnerve and scare the player through its sense of atmosphere, storyline, and events rather than just having you run from invincible enemies. That is not to say there is anything inherently wrong with the latter, it is simply that horror games seem to forget that there are other ways of being scary.

One of my favorite horror games is a 2008 platformer called Eversion. Yes you read that correctly, a horror platformer. What I enjoyed so much about this game was just how it created a dark and unnerving atmosphere based around simple platforming mechanics and no cutscenes or dialogue, and without gimmicky mechanics like tank controls that just make the game more tedious; the game was still as accessible as any other platformer.

Pony Island is a game that looked similar in concept to Eversion in many ways. Both games are ones that put up a facade of being a cutesy light hearted title, only to contain something dark and sinister underneath. If you haven’t caught on by now then I will just spell it out for you; Pony Island is not a game made for young girls about ponies. Read more

Steam Greenlight Landfill: The Graveyard

It really blows my mind that any developer could release a game like The Graveyard and think it is a good idea. I do not even mean that in the sense that it was an incomplete game; I mean that as in this game was dead on arrival (no pun intended). In concept, one can already tell that The Graveyard does not even attempt to be a good game. I will do my best to keep this review from devolving into a rant, but I cannot make any promises.

In The Graveyard, you play as an old woman who is walking slowly to a bench. You then sit down on the bench, wait for five minutes while a very bland and droning song sang in German plays. Afterwards, you get up and walk out of the graveyard; that’s it. One may naively think that I am just being snarky and leaving out exactly how these events occur, but I am not. That is literally all that happens in this game. Read more

Amazing VGM: Spider Dance (Undertale)

Undertale | Muffet

Well it’s that time of the year everyone… no not that one. I mean the other that time of the year! Either way, my Amazing VGMs are all going to be Halloween themed for this month to fit the theme. I figure I’ll start with an Undertale track this week since I just put my review of it up and because I’m likely not going to be in the mood to cover this particular track for a while afterwards. Read more

Steam Greenlight Landfill: Insincere

Insincere | Title Screen

I’m not going to waste too much time on this one; Insincere SUCKS!!!

I know that this isn’t the most professional way to start a review but it’s not like anyone actually cares enough about this game to defend it except for maybe its developer… nah they probably don’t either. In all seriousness I know that this can sound cruel to developers who are genuinely invested in their games but just lack the resources or experience to make their games… ya know… good. But on the other hand, this game SUCKS!!! Read more

The Stanley Parable (PC): A Postmodern Oddity (Detailed Review)

The Stanley Parable | Logo

Having just came off of reviewing The Beginner’s Guide, I found it would be appropriate to check out Davey Wreden’s earlier work. I found The Beginner’s Guide to be a masterpiece and one of the most strongly written games I’d ever played. My opinion on The Stanley Parable is a bit less clear cut. At first I was pretty disappointed with The Stanley Parable considering that I went from the masterpiece that was The Beginner’s Guide to a goofy game that prefers random nonsense as opposed to a coherent plot.

Right now I currently understand what it was going for and I do think it is a very unique and interesting game, but I’m not quite sure if I hold it in as quite high regard as most others do. I probably shouldn’t be surprised since I’m always very critical of postmodernist or meta titles. I’ve gone on enough about how much I dislike Gone Home or Dear Esther, but I was also highly critical of both Yume Nikki and Doki Doki Literature Club; both of which are highly revered titles. Read more