Brief Update (Mid-August, 2019)

I have spent the last few weeks thinking some things through, and have come to the conclusion that I will be taking a break from writing for the rest of the month. At the start of next month, I will determine whether or not I need more time before I resume posting. The one thing that I have determined though is that from this point on, my content will return to a “whatever the hell I want whenever the hell I want” basis. Meaning no more schedules (I will try to follow the current schedule but if I miss them, I miss them). I feel like I lost site of what this blog was supposed to be, so it’s time return to its roots.

Steam Greenlight Landfill: They Breathe

They Breathe | Logo

Titles like They Breath are the types of games that Steam’s refund system was made for. It is a pointless barely interactive and directionless “experimental” title that’s only claim to decency is to be vaguely artistic in order to impress people who do not even enjoy games in the first place, or at least that’s the only way I can see games like They Breathe existing. Furthermore the game is over in about half an hour so one would be under the 3 hour limit even if they beat it 3 times.

It is not that They Breathe could not have been a good game; it is more so that They Breathe chooses not to be a good game. It does nothing other than build a light bit of suspense up at to what the point of the game could be, only to reveal that there is no point or twist at the end to begin with. That is not even taking into account that the half hour leading up to that has boring and frustrating gameplay as well.

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Super Smash Bros. Ultimate (Switch): Ultimately, A Letdown (Detailed Review)

Super Smash bros. Ultimate | Box art

I enjoyed Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. I enjoyed it… but I also felt it was a let down in a number of ways, and I consider it the weakest in the series (with exception to the original which I haven’t played and thus can’t speak on).

I want to emphasize that most of my criticisms of Ultimate are as a single player experience, and that I couldn’t care less that you can’t doowop an skippity uppity airslap into a wavedashed cockdump sparklenut or spitshine a ledge canceled dickknob after twirlywhirly dibdidybobbidyboo 2: Electric Boogaloo. I am aware that fighting games are typically multi-player focused, but I never got into strictly multi-player games. Also there is the fact that the Switch now requires a subscription for online multi-player that I’ve heard isn’t an improvement over Smash 4’s free online. Read more

Standard Review: Hell Yeah! Wrath of the Dead Rabbit (PS3/360/PC)

Hell Yeah! Warth of the Dead Rabbit | Box Art

Hell Yeah! Wrath of the Dead Rabbit is a game that could be seen as somewhat of a modern twist on the whole “anthropomorphic animal with attitude” archetype that pervaded the 90s. Of course it is fitting that this was made by Sega, the same company that gave us Sonic the Hedgehog, the quintessential animal with attitude in video games. So the question is, does Hell Yeah manage to recreate what made the original Sonic memorable? The answer to that is that it kind of does, but it kind of doesn’t.

In terms of its presentation, Hell Yeah! excels. The art style is very flashy, the game has some hilarious dialogue, the music kicks ass, and pretty much everything about this game gives off the idea that this is going to be a fun game. The game’s storyline is about the prince of hell, a skeletal Rabbit named Ash, who is trying to hunt down the 100 monsters that saw a photo he mistakenly put up on his blog of him cuddling a stuffed animal. Read more

Standard Review: Teslagrad (PC/PS3/PS4/Vita/WiiU/Switch/XONE/IOS)

Teslagrad | header

Teslagrad was an indie platformer title released in 2013 that seemed to have had some fairly decent reception. Unfortunately I really cannot why. Well technically I can but I do not find it to be a logically sound reason. Teslagrad is a game that looks nice and sounds nice, and it seems fun at first, but a lot of its design flaws are very subtle to the point where the average player won’t realize they are there. Do not get me wrong, they will in fact experience these flaws, but they will likely not see them as such despite them for some reasons that I plan to explain shortly. Read more

Poem #110: Impatience

Note: This poem was originally posted on my Patreon account on June 12th of 2019. I am currently posting a new poem to my patreon account once a week for patron exclusive reading and on this blog one week later for public viewing. If you’d like to see these poems when they are first put up then please consider pledging to my patreon page. Read more