Last month I have been trying pretty hard to reach the level of productivity that I’ve previously held on this site. While I definitely got a bit more stuff out than in January, it is also low compared to before that. I will chalk this up to being busier with more stuff and due to getting hit with more than a few hardships during the month of February.
Among these hardships include relapsing into my depression over my ex girlfriend because my current one hasn’t had as much time to see me in person and having my remaining two Twitter accounts suspended and thus cutting me off from a major community I was a part of for five years. I still have a Mastadon account but it’s difficult to get as passionate about that site since I’ve gotten to know many users over the past five years. This basically means I’ve spent most of my time in my Discord server retreated from public view. Read more
I would like to apologize for the lack of activity last month as I have not only been busy with “activist work” (yes I am being intentionally vague about that for a reason) but my depression has been also relapsing throughout last month. I’ve come to realize that I may have put my ambitions too high in regards to activist work. I put together a writing piece longer than some books in regards to the midterms election and maybe I just was expecting a larger view count. Don’t get me wrong, this piece is among my top 10 most viewed articles but I had my hopes up too high that it would go viral.
The issue is that I have a secret project in motion that is likely going to stay secret for a lot of people unless I let them in on it. This has resulted in me putting more time into my secret project than my writing and I have thus fallen behind in article turnout and the daily view count. As such I’m going to make an effort to better balance the two and make sure I still have a fair amount of gaming AND political content for the future. Also I have abandoned the idea of emailing every US congressperson because I already have my hands full as it is. Anyway here is the article recap of last month. Read more
Greetings everyone, and welcome to another edition of Site Progress and Personal Update. I am your host AnnieGal and I am here to progress and personal update the fuck out of you all… that sounded just as oddly suggestive as I planned it to.
It feels like it has been so long since I wrote one of these. I have spent many of the previous months in anguish over the failure of my previous relationship, but I seem to have finally moved on. Granted there are still points where I think about Atma in my dreams but when I wake up I feel much more stable. I have a Discord server full of cute and adorable girls who regularly thirst over me, I have a blog that is far more successful than most new blogs are, and I have the potential to reach great heights.
Anyway it is now October. I am likely not going to have as much Halloween themed content this month as I did last year since I bit off way more than I can chew last year and ended up with some stuff I didn’t finish until December. There will be some though. Anyway here is last month’s article recap. Read more
The last month has felt strange to me. I have had a lot of ups and downs and it feels like my mood has been all over the place. The notable change is that I’m trying to ween off every medication of mine except for HRT. I had the realization fairly recently that all these meds may have caused more problems then I solved. I was given medication after medication for my depression since I was in fifth grade when I know for certain that it from latent gender dysphoria. Therefore I can gather that these medications are no longer necessary now that I’ve been on HRT for over a year. Not to mention I’ve looked up the side effects for a lot of these meds and realized that most of them have “depression” and “suicidal thoughts” listed, so I think I may have found a leading culprit.
Unfortunately three of these meds will have nasty withdrawal side effects if I quite them so I need to slowly ween off them. Simply decreasing my Propranolol dosage by 10 milligrams every 10 days has made me feel a lot better, and I will soon be off it completely. I then need to wait a month to check in with my psychiatrist before I quite Cymbalta and Trazodone, so it may take some time. However it does seem like things are going smoothly enough thus far. (Update: It didn’t go smoothly) Anyway here is last month’s article recap. Read more
It feels genuinely surprising that I made it through the past few months. I was literally in the ER back on May 22nd yet now I feel stronger than I have ever been. It is not because my troubles have just disappeared all of a sudden, but for once in my life I know that I can overcome them. I have become far more confident in myself than I used to be and know that I can accomplish some great things, and I’m not going to let any transphobes or dumb assess drag me down.
The fact that my breakup did not kill me has proven that NOTHING will. I am emotionally indestructible and have returned from the brink of absolute emotional despair. Additionally, I know that I have talents and abilities that others cannot hope to match, and I know I am destined for greatness. Over the past couple of years it has set in slowly that I can make all my dreams come true if I just keep pushing further and further, and it’s now more plainly obvious than Trump’s idiocy.
I certainly regret how I ended my last relationship, but I refuse to let guilt weigh me down and prevent me from growing as a person. I’ve already accomplished a lot, more than most people ever will in fact. My blog has been up for only a year and it has been growing at quite a rapid rate and I’ve gotten almost nothing but positive feedback. That’s not to say there is no negative feedback and I am certainly going to make a point to respond better to any of it, but I think I know well enough that all I need is to expose my content to more people then this blog is gonna be yuuuuugee! Read more
It is with great pleasure that I can finally announce that this site’s schedule is now going to be back on a consistent basis. Do to a rather unfortunate break up and about a months worth of wallowing in anguish and guilt, my schedule was a bit off for a while and I am going to take a moment to briefly summarize what happened. My now ex girlfriend Atma Weapon broke up with me and I proceeded to respond in the worst way possible next to lighting her car on fire and posting a negative Senran Kagura review.
Some may have noticed that I have deleted my May 2018 update piece, which I did because I realized it maybe wasn’t the best Idea to publicly post a 5000+ piece about a private relationship when the other person just wants you to leave them the fuck alone. The only way that piece is ever going back up is if the two of us reconcile and she says it’s okay, and that won’t happen for years if at all. I also revised any other pieces that had mentions of her or the drama. At the time I was trying to play it off as taking the high road but I was really just being desperate and pathetic. I want to properly share what I have learned now that I’ve had enough time to locate the problem, but first here is the article recap. Read more
TW: References to suicide, rape, animal abuse, pedophillia and violence… yep, I talk about Starless and Shoujo Tsubaki again in this article. Also towards the end it starts to get sad as I talk about death and grief.
I can’t decide whether or not it felt like this month went by quickly or slowly, but all I can say is that my mind has been bouncing all over the place. I will go from happily enjoying myself in the day to having an emotional breakdown in the middle of the night on more than one occasion. This is more than likely because of HRT as it has been known for making people a lot more emotional. The funny thing is that even though I often look at the news around me and break down because it feels like the world is going to end, the fact that I can feel these strong emotions makes me feel…alive. It feels like HRT has unlocked all these pent up emotions in me and I am now able to feel so much more than I did before. I have often said that I was emotional even prior too HRT, but this is a whole other level. Anyway, here is the recap of last month.