Amazing VGM: All American Badass (LISA: The Joyful)

LISA: The Joyful | Big Lincoln Sends you to Hell

As great as the soundtrack to LISA: The Painful was, its DLC episode LISA: The Joyful fucking OWNS it! My favorite boss theme from The Joyful is the final boss theme Brokentooth March, but the subject of this article is a pretty close second. The title is kinda weird since America doesn’t exist in Olathe but I suppose “All Olathian Badass” just doesn’t have the same flair to it.

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Pony Island (PC): It’s Not About Ponies; But it May as Well be (Detailed Review)

Pony Island | Logo

For a game with such a unique premise, I found myself rather let down by Pony Island. When just about every horror game in existence is based solely around the concept of “run and hide from scary monsters,” one would start to gravitate towards more unique horror games. I always have had a preference for games that can unnerve and scare the player through its sense of atmosphere, storyline, and events rather than just having you run from invincible enemies. That is not to say there is anything inherently wrong with the latter, it is simply that horror games seem to forget that there are other ways of being scary.

One of my favorite horror games is a 2008 platformer called Eversion. Yes you read that correctly, a horror platformer. What I enjoyed so much about this game was just how it created a dark and unnerving atmosphere based around simple platforming mechanics and no cutscenes or dialogue, and without gimmicky mechanics like tank controls that just make the game more tedious; the game was still as accessible as any other platformer.

Pony Island is a game that looked similar in concept to Eversion in many ways. Both games are ones that put up a facade of being a cutesy light hearted title, only to contain something dark and sinister underneath. If you haven’t caught on by now then I will just spell it out for you; Pony Island is not a game made for young girls about ponies. Read more

Steam Greenlight Landfill: The Graveyard

It really blows my mind that any developer could release a game like The Graveyard and think it is a good idea. I do not even mean that in the sense that it was an incomplete game; I mean that as in this game was dead on arrival (no pun intended). In concept, one can already tell that The Graveyard does not even attempt to be a good game. I will do my best to keep this review from devolving into a rant, but I cannot make any promises.

In The Graveyard, you play as an old woman who is walking slowly to a bench. You then sit down on the bench, wait for five minutes while a very bland and droning song sang in German plays. Afterwards, you get up and walk out of the graveyard; that’s it. One may naively think that I am just being snarky and leaving out exactly how these events occur, but I am not. That is literally all that happens in this game. Read more

Amazing VGM: Spider Dance (Undertale)

Undertale | Muffet

Well it’s that time of the year everyone… no not that one. I mean the other that time of the year! Either way, my Amazing VGMs are all going to be Halloween themed for this month to fit the theme. I figure I’ll start with an Undertale track this week since I just put my review of it up and because I’m likely not going to be in the mood to cover this particular track for a while afterwards. Read more

Steam Greenlight Landfill: Insincere

Insincere | Title Screen

I’m not going to waste too much time on this one; Insincere SUCKS!!!

I know that this isn’t the most professional way to start a review but it’s not like anyone actually cares enough about this game to defend it except for maybe its developer… nah they probably don’t either. In all seriousness I know that this can sound cruel to developers who are genuinely invested in their games but just lack the resources or experience to make their games… ya know… good. But on the other hand, this game SUCKS!!! Read more

The Stanley Parable (PC): A Postmodern Oddity (Detailed Review)

The Stanley Parable | Logo

Having just came off of reviewing The Beginner’s Guide, I found it would be appropriate to check out Davey Wreden’s earlier work. I found The Beginner’s Guide to be a masterpiece and one of the most strongly written games I’d ever played. My opinion on The Stanley Parable is a bit less clear cut. At first I was pretty disappointed with The Stanley Parable considering that I went from the masterpiece that was The Beginner’s Guide to a goofy game that prefers random nonsense as opposed to a coherent plot.

Right now I currently understand what it was going for and I do think it is a very unique and interesting game, but I’m not quite sure if I hold it in as quite high regard as most others do. I probably shouldn’t be surprised since I’m always very critical of postmodernist or meta titles. I’ve gone on enough about how much I dislike Gone Home or Dear Esther, but I was also highly critical of both Yume Nikki and Doki Doki Literature Club; both of which are highly revered titles. Read more

Undertale (PC/PS4/Vita/Switch): A Deeply Moving Tale (Detailed Review)

Undertale | Memory Statue

Chances are, most gamers nowadays may have heard of Undertale, especially if they frequent this site. After all, it won the sites “greatest games of all time” contest and beat out games like Ocarina of Time and Final Fantasy VII. Some may argue that the victory doesn’t count because it most votes came from Tumblr users who don’t frequent GameFAQs, but it does not change the fact that it was always intended as a popularity contest and that every vote was from an individual who thought it deserved to win. So yes, it did in fact prove that Undertale is very highly regarded in the gaming community.

Keep in mind that this was all for a game created in Game Maker and that did not even have a press kit when IGN approached Toby Fox. So no this is not the same as some crap like game publications proclaiming a multi million dollar AAA title to be the Citizen Kane of gaming within a minute of putting the disk in the console. The only boost that Toby Fox got with Undertale was a successful Kickstarter campaign, and regardless of how one feels about Kickstarter, this shows how good it can be when used correctly. Read more

The Beginner’s Guide (PC): A Postmodern Masterpiece (Detailed Review)

The Beginner's Guide | The Machine

This review took me quite a while to get to now didn’t it? I didn’t expect much going into The Beginner’s Guide and I didn’t know a thing about it. Pretty much all the odds were stacked against this game clicking with me. I’ve made it known that I detest the “environmental narrative” genre and I consider games like Gone Home and Dear Esther mediocre at absolute best and terrible at worst. Even some of the arguably better examples like Yume Nikki don’t really do anything for me.

I adore The Beginner’s Guide though. Until I played Euphoria, The Beginner’s Guide had the strongest narrative out of any game I have ever played, even more so than NieR Automata. What really impresses me about The Beginner’s Guide is just how much of an impact it left on me despite the fact that it is beaten in little over an hour. Even games like To the Moon have had trouble really sticking with me the way The Beginner’s Guide has, and I grew to believe that being shorter just meant it wouldn’t be as impactful for me. Read more

Steam Greenlight Landfill: Depths of Fear: Knossos

This is a review that was very long overdue. I should note that this was technically the first game I ever received a review code for back in 2014 while I was with Oprainfall. At the time my computer was a piece of shit and was unable to run the game so someone else needed to review it there instead. Given that my computer is now not a piece of shit, I decided I should play the game for myself and review it given that I got it for that purpose. So if the developers of Depths of Fear are reading this, sorry for the wait. Also sorry that I’m about to trash it in this review because I didn’t really like it.

Knossos has a fairly solid premise that could have worked if done more competently. The game is heavily based around Greek mythology and has you tasked with navigating a labyrinth and slaying a Minotaur. The only problem is that you need a special sword to do that and you need to collect 8 macguffins to do get this, each of which is guarded by another creature from Greek mythology. In addition to the Minotaur, you will also need to slay a Satyr, a Centaur, a Hydra, Medusa, a Griffin, a Manticore, and Cerberus. Read more

Amazing VGM: Go Home Johnny (LISA: The Painful)

LISA: The Painful | Former Friend

Expect me to do a lot of stanning for LISA: The Painful in the future. It really is a work of genius in just how it conveys the painful nature of Brad’s existence through its gameplay. But this piece isn’t about the gameplay, it’s about the music that accompanies part of the gameplay. Specifically this piece plays during boss battles against former friends. SPOILERS below! Read more