I have previously mentioned my dilemma of not knowing what direction to take my blog in. I’ve been most recently focused on politics as of late but my game reviews were what made this blog what it was. I’ve been thinking about what direction I wanted to take things, but I think I reached a decision. I’m going to focus specifically on politics at this time, and I’m going to be doing this from now until the United States Presidential Election at least. Whether or not I keep going past that point will likely depend on whether or not Trump wins re-election.
I initially intended this blog as a long shot hope of substituting for an actual career, and maybe that could still happen. But everything is currently falling apart in my country, and if I don’t do literally everything in my power to stop it then I’m not that much better than those who actively support it. That’s not to say that there won’t be anything else, just that the focus will be on politics for a while. Anyway here is last month’s article recap. Read more
Damn, just realized I’m a bit late on the update piece. Things the past few days have been a bit crazy, which is likely why I just realized today that “oh shit, it’s already the 10th and I haven’t gotten a site update piece out! Well I better fix that. Here’s last month’s article recap. Read more
Last month was notably long and arduous, I have been struggling with my depression relapsing, and most recently, an inability to fall asleep until around 7 AM even with my usual sleep medication. My motivation to play games has been mostly shot and I’ve had difficulty getting myself to write as well. Despite this, my output seems to have been an immense improvement over the previous months. Here is last month’s recap. Read more
Something that I have been frequently telling others as of late is that the past few weeks have been all over the place, and I’ve had some amazing highs and devastating lows. As usual I plan to talk about each of these things but it feels weird nonetheless. I can at least say for certain that the intensity of the previous month means that my life is starting to get going, but thinking about where I’m going to is both exciting and nerve wracking. Anyway here is last month’s article recap. Read more
I need to confess to those who may not have caught on, but the last few months have been a major struggle for me. I have suffered from major burnout after having posted the largest piece of writing I’ve ever written and then dealt with the revelation that a close friend of mine was a manipulative sex pest so things were not going smoothly. It seemed like I was finally started to get back into the swing of things in March as I had a consistent schedule throughout that month until around the 20th where I stopped… almost permanently.
CW: Depression, suicide.
I’ve talked about my depression and suicidal ideation and I’ve made it known that they have been quite intense. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I attempted to act on them though. The closest I came was when my ex girlfriend cut off all contact with me and I called 911 to prevent a suicide attempt, and that happened in late April of last year. I was taken to the ER for a few hours then but this time, I was admitted to a psyche ward where I had no access to internet and thus could not talk to most of my friends or work on writing.
So there, it’s not just me being lazy this time. I was legitimately unable to do so. I should probably talk about my experience at this psyche ward but first let’s recap. Read more
Last month I have been trying pretty hard to reach the level of productivity that I’ve previously held on this site. While I definitely got a bit more stuff out than in January, it is also low compared to before that. I will chalk this up to being busier with more stuff and due to getting hit with more than a few hardships during the month of February.
Among these hardships include relapsing into my depression over my ex girlfriend because my current one hasn’t had as much time to see me in person and having my remaining two Twitter accounts suspended and thus cutting me off from a major community I was a part of for five years. I still have a Mastadon account but it’s difficult to get as passionate about that site since I’ve gotten to know many users over the past five years. This basically means I’ve spent most of my time in my Discord server retreated from public view. Read more
I would like to apologize for the lack of activity last month as I have not only been busy with “activist work” (yes I am being intentionally vague about that for a reason) but my depression has been also relapsing throughout last month. I’ve come to realize that I may have put my ambitions too high in regards to activist work. I put together a writing piece longer than some books in regards to the midterms election and maybe I just was expecting a larger view count. Don’t get me wrong, this piece is among my top 10 most viewed articles but I had my hopes up too high that it would go viral.
The issue is that I have a secret project in motion that is likely going to stay secret for a lot of people unless I let them in on it. This has resulted in me putting more time into my secret project than my writing and I have thus fallen behind in article turnout and the daily view count. As such I’m going to make an effort to better balance the two and make sure I still have a fair amount of gaming AND political content for the future. Also I have abandoned the idea of emailing every US congressperson because I already have my hands full as it is. Anyway here is the article recap of last month. Read more
When I started this blog, I intended it as being for little more other than myself. That much has changed as of late given my recent focus on politics. A lot of what I talk about will likely pertain to my 2018 Midterm piece considering just how much of my time spent in the last few weeks was directed towards this piece. It is because of this that the piece you are reading right now did not come out until later; because I needed to take a break.
Admittedly there are a few complications in regards to proceeding with #PinkTsunami. When I finished with that piece I was VERY fired up and ready to take on the world practically. It’s tough to keep channeling pure passion after a rather intense session of burnout but as I’ve said, I do in fact plan to be much more involved in politics. I’m not going to quite writing about games of course but I do plan for there to be a more even split as opposed to one political piece every few months while everything is game reviews.
I should note that I have not started having my midterm piece advertised yet but I likely will soon. Anyway here is last month’s article recap. Read more
So… I was banned from Twitter.
I’m honestly not surprised. I kinda knew this was going to happen considering how prone to abuse Twitter’s report system and how scattershot in its implementation it is. Infamous right wing nutcase Alex Jones was not suspended until he started harassing Jack Dorsey in person despite the fact that Twitter ADMITTED he violated the of service multiple times.
While I kinda saw it coming, I will admit that I am rather frustrated by this. Not frustrated enough to chain myself to Twitter’s front door to block the entrance and call the police mind you, but annoyed nonetheless. Well to be truthful it’s more saddening than anything. Read more
It’s funny how I remember that there was a point in time where these months were just going by so fast yet it now feels like an eternity has passed through each update. I have not been in the best place emotionally as of late. I really don’t want to talk about my failed relationship anymore because it feels wrong to publicize it any further, but I just haven’t been the same since then.
I should be happy right now with so many supportive fans and all the progress I made, but I’m not. Believe it or not, I’ve been trying my hardest to suppress my grief over this failed relationship of mine. It’s always been easier for me to cope with grief when I can just let it out publicly, but I have come to regret making some things regarding her public. I guess that’s just the key difference between us; she never wanted to be brought into this. That’s why I’m not mentioning her by name anymore.
As if that wasn’t enough, being with Twitter for a week made me realize just how dependent on it I truly am. In the period since the breakup, I have since played LISA: The Painful, The Beginner’s Guide, Persona 3, and Saya no Uta. All four of these games have major themes in moving on from past trauma, dependency, and coping with one’s disastrous and alienating fuckups. Due to a conversation I had with some close friends of mine, I have decided to pursue Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It’s quite clear I need some kinda of treatment, and seeing my step brother as concerned about me as he was made me finally understand it for certain that I need this. Besides, I need this in order to stop all this painful depression. Anyway here is the article recap for last month. Read more