Guardian Acorn

Site Progress & Personal Update: February 2021 (Angry Venting Edition)

Well guys… it’s certainly another month alright. I actually don’t know anything interesting to say, so I guess I’ll just ramble about nothing for this site update piece. Chronic fatigue is still a bitch, and I still hate how it takes me 2 hours to shave my face each day, yet I feel exhausted until I go do that. But thankfully, my dad has told me that he will pay for my laser hair removal, and my sister has also contributed some money towards that. Apparently the process as a whole may take a while, but I am certainly looking forward to not waking up each morning feeling like I have tons of parasites on my face.

A lot of cis people really have no clue what the fuck gender dysphoria feels like, and giving a literal explanation never really helps, so I’ll just say something to paint a picture. Imagine that gross, depressed feeling that you have when you don’t take a shower for a few days… now imagine what that feels like if you never showered or bathed your entire life! That’s what gender dysphoria feels like without taking into account all the hate and discrimination that comes from cis people being assholes.

Oh wait, I forgot, cis people get really mad when trans people tell them to stop being shitty. They say how mean and hostile you are for pointing out shit that they did. Oh sorry you might feel a tinge of guilt over the fact that people like you have systematically oppressed people like me for literal millennia. I guess you’ll just have to put on your big girl panties and suck it up, just like I need to spend 2 hours scraping facial hair off with an electric razor, and then having to force myself to stop scraping so that my face isn’t so rashy that I need to use up 1/3rd of the MEN’s aftershave to relieve the stinging pain.

So yes, if you couldn’t tell, I’ve been in an absolutely WONDERFUL mood these past few days, and by wonderful I mean I considered killing myself a few days ago. How are all of you doing? At least we can laugh at hedge fund managers losing their stonks to Reddit users who probably don’t wipe their own asses.

Oh and Abigail Thorn is now out as trans, and that means we have another powerful ally on our side, and everyone’s happy for her except those people that are still mad that she made a joke about Trump being trans a month ago because the tweet he responded to used the word “transition.” Was that joke particularly funny? Not really, but if you are seriously raging at how offensive and transphobic it is, then I probably hate you. I mean, how fucking sheltered are you if THAT’s what gets to you? I’m a literal housebound agoraphobic and even I’m not that sheltered. I can tell you that me and my partners make far worse trans jokes than that in private, OH THE HORROR!!!!

Oh but Abigail wasn’t publicly out as trans yet, even though it really should have been obvious. And I don’t even mean that in a “any cis man who hangs out around trans people is an egg” kinda bullshit, I mean that because she was looking increasingly more femme in her recent videos and there wasn’t really any kind of explanation. Oh, but I’m sure it was worth it to harass a closeted trans person over a joke about how the word transition can mean different things depending on the context. You really helped cut down on the number of trans people murdered in the streets, and I’m sure your Twitter dunks helped get trans kids escape from TERF island, you bitter, bitter people.

But holy fuck, coming back to Twitter was a serious mistake. Getting banned from Twitter was the best thing that ever happened to me, and completely ignored it and hopped right back into the trenches the first time they showed up. Get it? Because Abigail used the trench analogy in her latest video. The only difference is I’ve been out for five years and am still feeling like shit, meanwhile Abigail just publicly came out and has achieved Nirvana. Well at least she has until she gets canceled as hard as Natalie Wynn does.

And I’ve not shyed away from criticizing Natalie in the past, hell it’s a running joke among my partners that we call stupid trans women Natalie’s, which is funny because one of my partners really likes Natalie, and it’s even funnier because that partner is a fucking enby. But these fucking people act like Natalie Wynn has poisoned their water supply, burned their crops, and delivered a plague onto their houses. Oh look, I said the Spongebob thing, aren’t I hilarious?

Anyway, I’m glad I got that all out of my system, I guess I should do the usual site update shit. Here’s last month’s article recap.

Games&Girls (PC): An Embarrassing Train Wreck (Detailed Review)

Amazing VGM: Smiles & Tears (EarthBound)

Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy (PS4/XONE/Switch/PC): A Highly N. Tertaining Trilogy (Detailed Review)

Celeste (PC/PS4/XONE/Switch/Stadia): A Steep, Treacherous, and Beautiful Climb (Detailed Review)

Well what do you know? I got a review out for every game I hoped to cover this month, in addition to an Amazing VGM piece that is the length of at least a standard review. Compared to the previous month which consisted of two quick reviews and one detailed review, I’d say my output has been pretty damn good. It’s just a shame that no one wants to read my reviews of Celeste and Crash. My Games&Girls review was a hit though, and I can see why; that review was hilarious. I was worried it was going to receive backlash, but it seems to be pretty well received. Also the game’s composer told me that they were disgusted with the game’s antisemetic content, and also admitted that they didn’t put much effort into the music, which I guess makes it the perfect soundtrack for this game.

The other three didn’t do too especially well in terms of views, but I like how they turned out. I always like getting the chance to look at the symbolic and thematic relevance of games, which I touched on in my “Smiles & Tears” piece. I would like to get back to doing more Amazing VGM entries, but I also kinda want to catch up on the games I still need to review. Anyway, since my view count is making it clear that people really like my eroge reviews, my next two will both be eroge reviews.

As for what I do after that, I don’t have a set schedule, but I would like to take the time to talk about some games I’ve been considering. I have played through and completed both Super Mario 64 and Sunshine last month, and I may decide to play through Galaxy as well. If I do, there is a decent chance that I will put out a review of Super Mario 3D All Stars in a similar vein to that of my N Sane Trilogy review.

I am also strongly considering covering Nekopara Vol. 4 pretty soon, since I’ve already covered every other entry in the series. I mean, it’s pretty much a GA tradition at this point, and it’s also been a while since I got a review code from Sekai Project (or anyone for that matter).

On the subject of review codes, I have decided that Maggot Baits will be my 200th review. So while it means that it may be a bit until I get to it, it only feels right considering how much Guardian Acorn owes to Euphoria, and the fact that it is a very special game to me… even if it’s super fucked up.

I also want to finally get around to covering DeltaRune Chapter 1 fairly soon, as I promised that to my patrons via a private poll that only they could vote on, and it would be kinda embarrassing if Chapter 2 released before I got my review of Chapter 1 out.

I have also been playing through Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth2 on and off for quite a while. I have mixed feelings on the game overall, which is to be expected since the series kinda hit a seasonal rot point during 2014 and 2015, although it thankfully dragged itself out of that with the absolutely superb Megadimension Neptunia VII. The only reason I haven’t really caught up on the series is because after three meh games, I don’t have confidence in the other games released in that time period, and I’m especially hesitant to drag myself through yet another Re;birth title before I can get to the good stuff, even if Re;birth3 should be better in theory since it will be closer to the game it was remaking than the other two Re;births.

I also hope to cover Rance VI: Collapse of Zeth in the near future. I’ve been genuinely looking forward to checking out the other games in the series. I mean, Rance 5D certainly had its problems, but I’ve heard almost nothing but good things about titles like Collapse of Zeth and Sengoku Rance. And it looks like Rance Quest Magnum will be released in English fairly soon, just after we had the Rance 1&2 remakes localized to. This series is coming out faster than I can play them.

Anyway, there are certainly more than just those, but I want to keep at least some things a surprise. Looks like it’s time for patron shoutouts.

Special thanks to Jimbolance, Wendy Gowac, Krysta, Brittany Eakin, Sam, IceTheRetroKid, blue desolation, Dia, and Rin Marina. You are all so amazing and your support is immensely appreciated.

If you’d like to support me or my content, then please consider pledging to my Patreon or sharing my work on social media.

So yeah… I’m kinda blanking out on an outro, but I do plan to keep kicking ass, taking names, and writing about games… yeah, I miss Reggie.

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