CW: Discussion and portrayal of incest, rape, and transphobia.

Well everyone, I just spent the last week or so suffering from pancreatitis and recovering from having a stone infested gallbladder removed. Needless to say, it has not been fun, and it is a major reason why there is a delay on content. Anyway it’s time for my review of… god fucking damn it…

I only decided to review this game because I had on offhand mention of it in my review of Futa Fix Dick Dine and Dash. At the time, Futanari Quest was listed as “coming soon” on Steam, but the devs admitted it was just to direct people to the Nutaku version. The game actually got released on Steam a few weeks after I posted that review, and I later decided to pick it up on sale for $1.00. I honestly wish I hadn’t.

I genuinely wish I hadn’t played this game, and much like the gallblader I just had removed, it gets under my skin in some uncomfortable ways. I’d like to draw special attention to the present tense in that last statement. It “gets” under my skin, as opposed to “it got under my skin.” I say this because Futanari Quest isn’t another case of me playing a grotesque rape simulator and contemplating where my life went wrong before doing the exact same shit again months later due to a desire for views and my own morbid curiosity.

Futanari Quest is basically your average, trashy, hentai game. Absolutely zero substance, and a lot of over the top fetish shit that thrives in absolute tastelessness. I don’t even say this as a knock against the game. I personally think this kind of game can be enjoyable with enough self awareness and original charm. Meltys Quest was a game that handled this fairly well. Despite the fact that I did not even like that game’s sex scenes, the over the top trashiness made it a fun experience.

Futanari Quest was clearly going for the same thing, and at first, all of the elements appeared to be there. However, it is not even necessary to play Futanari Quest to demonstrate why it is bad. One simply needs to research it. It’s developer, Studio Fah, has no other releases or information available about them online. There is barely any information on this game either actually.

If one were to take a look at the Steam discussion forums for this game, one will see mostly threads about how this game was unfinished, or a scam. Allegedly, the original game promised 99 different girls and loads of sex scenes, which is a far cry from the four in the final version. After a year long absence, the developer added a few extra CGs and one of the worst endings I’ve ever seen, and decided that it was complete. It was then released on Nutaku in 2018, for $5.00. Patrons were naturally pissed as hell and the game’s reputation was trashed, leading to another few years of nothing until it was added on Steam for just $2.00, which was likely an attempt to wring as much cash out of the few people who didn’t know that it sucked yet.

Update: Here is the original thread about the game’s creation, that contains a download link for the original demo version. Replies are infested with transphobia though, so don’t read them.

I did not know this before I started to play the game, but after having finished it, it makes way too much sense. While the game is functional, it is still nowhere near finished, and was either a result of budgetary mismanagement, or was intended as a scam to begin with. Despite the low price I spent on this game, I feel dirty having given my money to a scam artist. And this is without taking the quality of the game into account.

As stated previously, Futanari Quest is aiming for trashy and crude, and its story pretty much gives that away. You play as a 19 year old girl named Yui, who comes across a mysterious box on the side of the road. Inside this box is a fairy named Clit… no seriously, they named the fairy something that makes her invisible to most of the game’s target audience. The stupidly named fairy then proceeds to scold Yui for not procreating. Yui tries to explain that she can’t just go around and do that because we live in a society, but Clit doesn’t listen and instead curses her with a big throbbing cock. Yui is then told she needs to impregnate 4 women to break the curse, and also told that if she complains, Clit will make her dick even bigger.

On top of Yui being given additional genitalia, opening the box also transports her and her family’s house to a distant fantasy world. In other words, Futanari Quest is an Isekai! No wonder it’s so tasteless! And to remove any doubt about the direction this game is going in, two of the four women you impregnate are your mother and sister. One thing to note is that the Steam release did the thing where they said that they’re not blood related so it’s okay. The original Nutaku release, however, didn’t even bother with that.

When I reviewed Futa Fix Dick Dine and Dash, I remarked how there were a few genuinely thoughtful moments sprinkled throughout what was mostly just fap material. I get that there aren’t high expectations for games like these, but maybe there should be. And I’m not even saying not to be trashy or stupid, I’m saying to at least be good! I could have a field day dissecting everything about this game’s dumb storyline that doesn’t work. I could talk about how Yui is basically raping her younger sister, about how oddly transphobic this game is despite it fetishizing women with dicks, or I could just talk about how disjointed and poorly written the story is. Instead, I’m going to talk about the few good things about this game, and then I will talk about that Goddess forsaken ending.

If I’m being honest, I actually didn’t hate this game until I saw that ending. Yes, I know, it’s a big admission to say that opening with incest wasn’t enough to make me NOPE the fuck out of here, but compared to some of the other shit I’ve covered, that’s pretty tame. Instead, it actually made me laugh at how little tact the game had when approaching these sorts of subject. To just have this game blurt out “Fuck it! This sister of mine is going to have my baby!” with all the shame of a Republican congressman will either horrify you, or make you laugh uncontrollably.

I also quite liked Yui’s bitchy and aggressive demeanor when talking down to her opponents. Hell the aforementioned incest scene between Yui and her sister was basically a hate fuck, where the two are trying to out snark each other the entire time. Granted, the fact that Yui is horrified at growing a cock in the first scene, only for her to try and stick it into every woman that moves later on is some rather sloppy writing, but you take what you can get with this game.

I will also add that the sex scenes weren’t horrible for once. The artwork and voice acting were fairly well done, and I did get some enjoyment out of a few of the sex scenes. The incest thing is probably a deal breaker for a lot of people, but there is some genuine effort put into the writing. I do, however, think the the e-book style narration during sex scenes was a bit of a mood killer. I also find it ironic that a game based around fetishizing cocks… cannot think of any other word to use than “cock.” I’m sure there are some people in this world who can write a list longer than all six Lord of the Rings books, yet you mean to tell me that whoever wrote this couldn’t throw in an occasional “dick,” “schlong,” or hyper weapon every once in a while?

There was a brief period where I thought that Futanari Quest was actually going to be a good game. I thought it might turn out well because there were lots of things that hinted at a larger and more compelling experience. Unfortunately, this only happened because I didn’t have the foresight to see the game’s abrupt ending coming. To paint a better picture of what I’m talking about, imagine something like Final Fantasy IV, only it’s over after you cure Rosa’s desert fever. Okay technically, it would be more like if you were playing a crude romhack of Final Fantasy IV that followed the same plot, but this would still be more charitable than the actual game.

The reason for this being that the gameplay in the first few hours of said hypothetical crude romhack that hypothetically does not change the gameplay of the base game, would still be more engaging that what Futanari Quest has. You can literally skip all random encounters in this game, and not change any equipment, and will not have any problem. The only incentive you have to fighting random battles is that they are all monster girls and you get a nude image of them.

I’ve mostly made fun of this game’s nonsensical story, but it wouldn’t be impossible for the full game to have been decent. That was not the case, however, which meant that the Studio Fah needed to find a way to railroad the player straight into an ending that wraps everything up. Unfortunately, they decided to have the game end with Yui trapped inside a dark prison for the rest of her life, right after the fairy reveals she lied to her the whole time.

Rumor has it that this was originally one of many optional bad endings planned in the full game, but they needed to use this as the final ending since they couldn’t finish the game. I’m skeptical of this because the game makes a point of actively misleading the player into believing there will be a happy ending, and slips the rug out from under you in the most forced manner possible. The reason that Yui is even kept in prison doesn’t even make sense. She was locked up for impregnating the princess, which was not only consensual, but it wasn’t even coercive. It was actually far more tame than the previously mentioned incest shit. Hell if you wanted to go for a bad ending, you should have had her father come home and kick her out.

This ending comes across as if it is trying to punish the player for something. This could have worked if there were any other options available, but this is a linear title with little variation in how the player is allowed to approach it. In a hypothetical full version, one wouldn’t have to knock up the princess, and they also wouldn’t have to knock up their mother or sister. This would mean that the consequences would be more impactful because the player had the choice not to do that. And yes, I know there are some games that intentionally go for a “the good ending is where you stop playing” approach, but let’s be real here, Futanari Quest isn’t Spec Ops: The Line. You need to have especially good writing to pull that off.

Even knowing that this game was a literal scam, this ending baffles me. It baffles me because it feels like Studio Fah went out of their way to make whichever unlucky soul played their game feel betrayed. As if it’s already enough that everyone who pledged to this game’s development wasted their money on an incomplete game, they need to end their glorified demo with the equivalent of flipping the player off, spitting in their face, then proceeding to shoot their dog.

This game disgusts me, and not in the way that hentai games usually disgust me. As a game, it’s far from the worst I’ve ever played. It’s finished in the loosest possible sense of the word, and there were a few moments that were entertaining. If it were not for the absolute scumbaggery of its devs, and that brain shatteringly shit ending, I’d have to spend some time considering whether or not it’s worth the 99 cents I paid for it.

Studio Fah went ahead and answered it for me though. If you decide to play this game, I’d just like to let you know that it’s morally ethical to pirate it. That’s not to say that it’s legal to do so, or that you should though. Time is money after all, and you shouldn’t waste either on this game.

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