Guardian Acorn

Site Progress & Personal Update: November 2021

Well, another two months have passed and, I feel like shit. Absolute garbage, and I’m already late on this Site Update Piece despite not having started it until the 4th. So one might be asking, what the fuck happened? The answer to that is fucking everything! I’m sure we all know about that fucking election, so I’ll talk about what happened in my personal life first.

I spent last Weekend with my girlfriend Brittany, and it was very nice. The only problem is that every time I spend an extended amount of time with her, I become depressed when I get home. I’m sure that sounds really sweet and romantic and all, but keep in mind that it’s basically me returning my crushingly lonely home life. I don’t dislike my family or anything, but they don’t inspire the kind of trust that is necessary for a healthy relationship. Hell there are very few people who I can really trust, because my mechanism of self defense is to isolate and repress. For most of my life, the only people I could talk to were neurotypical people who were naive at best and manipulative and uncaring at worst. I was near constantly suicidal throughout high school and my parents had little to no awareness of it, and don’t even get me started on the school staff.

The older I get, the more I realize just how fucked up my upbringing was. At the time, I thought this was normal, and for all I know, it probably was for many people my age. I’m sure that things were a lot worse when my parents were in school, but that’s just it. If things have been fucked up for a while, then it doesn’t mean they’re going to stop being fucked up if we just make a few tweaks around the edges.

The entire reason I’m a leftist is because I refuse to believe that a person’s worth is defined by their ability to create a profit under capitalism. We’re so often told that capitalism breeds innovation, but if anything, this blog is proof of the opposite. The only reason you all are able to see regular updates is because I’m privileged enough to live with a family who can afford to provide for me, and is more than aware of the fact that I cannot function like a neurotypical adult in a typical nine to five job. It’s a struggle for me even when I’m in a position that many would dream of having.

So, there are three things that I am dealing with currently. The first being that I need to find a new web hosting platform since Queerit is closing its doors. Thankfully, I have people who are willing to help, and they have a recommended platform to move to, so that shouldn’t be too concerning. The 2nd of these is that it’s uncertain if I’ll be able to keep seeing my current therapist, because I will need to switch to Medicaid, which may not be covered by her employers. This is why the health insurance industry and anyone arguing against Medicare for All is garbage. Considering the aforementioned trust issues, having to start over with a new therapist is seriously worrying.

And lastly, I just had a Dentist appointment a few days. I know that would be enough for some, but it gets worse. It turns out that my teeth have not been doing well, and I need to get more than one filling the day before New Years. I should mention that the reason my teeth aren’t doing so well is because I only brush them once a day, as opposed to the recommended twice a day. For neurotypical people, brushing your teeth is one of those basic functions that they barely even think about. That’s not the case for me.

It’s common for people suffering from depression to neglect their basic hygiene. Depression numbs every sense and makes you feel overwhelmingly tired both physically and mentally. Oftentimes, the only way to beat it back is to force yourself to take a shower or brush your teeth, despite the fact that the urge is to just lie down and wait for the sweet release of death. Even when you have no serious responsibilities and have all the free time in the world, you still feel like shit. And having to deal with the aforementioned responsibilities can push you over the edge. When combined with the fact that I have BPD, which means that my stress tolerance is far lower than most, I know for a fact that trying to work a normal job would lead to me killing myself. I’d only need one especially bad day for me to just snap and end it all.

But anyway, this was supposed to be about my teeth or something. I just need to start brushing my teeth twice a day and flossing. Thankfully, I think this is something I can manage, since it only feels bothersome the first few times, and it eventually becomes habitual. Given that I manage to get myself to shower and shave every day, it shouldn’t be too hard to spend a few more minutes brushing my teeth.

I seem to be through the worst of my depression thankfully, but I still feel like I’m forcing myself to write this. My creative energy just seems to be sapped right now, and I have no idea whether or not it will return in a few days or a few weeks. But the fact that it’s taking this long to get a site update piece out is discouraging.

Anyway, I should probably talk about politics for a bit. Yeah, that was a disaster. It was a disaster for both the left given that India Walton, Lorena Gonzales, Sheila Nezhad, Nicole Thomas-Kennedy, and Nikkita Oliver all lost their respective races, and it was a disaster for establishment Democrats since they lost to a Republican candidate in Virginia, and the New Jersey gubernatorial race was disturbingly close.

However, the left did still have a few noteworthy victories. The most noteworthy is that the Brand New Congress endorsed Sheila Cherfilus-Mccormick is currently leading corporate Democrat Dale Holness by five votes, meaning that this will come down to overseas and military ballots. Never believe that you vote won’t make a difference folks! Michelle Wu also won the race for Mayor of Boston, which has also elected Kendra Hicks to City Council. There have been a number of DSA backed candidates who have been elected to local offices, and we even had two Green party candidates elected in Maine.

What this shows is that even when they are able to stop us in our bigger races, they can’t stop all of us, and that the leftist presence continues to take over the Democratic party more and more with each passing election. Additionally, the seeds to a viable third party are being planted, though it will take time for them to fully grow. In other words, we have to keep pressing onward no matter how bad things look.

Anyway, I will be focusing on Political pieces the next few months, so gaming content will be put on the back burner for a while, though I will still try and post some. The next review I have planned is for SaDistic BlooD. Following that, I will be doing a piece about DeltaRune and about NeiR Replicant. There are also a few smaller reviews that will likely be sprinkled in between.

Anyway, it is time to shoutout my patrons. I have two new patrons who are on board, and I am happy to have the support of Cat Stedman and Yuster Yumeister, in addition to that of D Inacio, Jimbolance, Wendy Gowak, Krista, Brittany Eakin, Sam, Kelly Gallagher, IceTheRetroKid, Dia, and Rin Clarita. Gosh, I still can’t believe you all are willing to support me like this, I am really blessed, and it makes me happy that you enjoy my work this much. If anyone else wants to support me, my Patreon can be found here. Believe me, I don’t make much money, and every amount pledged, even if it’s a $1 pledge, means a lot to me. Also everyone who contributes a total of $120 and is a patron for at least six months gets to choose a game for me to cover, so if that incentivizes you, then go right ahead.

Anyway, happy belated Halloween, happy be-earlied Thanksgiving, and Merry very be-earlied Christmas. Oh shit, I mean happy very be-earlied merry holidays Oh you get the God damned point!

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