I’m three days into this month and I’m already exhausted. I wish I could start this piece on a more optimistic note, but I’m pissed off and overwhelmed. I’m disgusted with the state of my country even more than usual and I’m find it less and less likely that anything is going to change. Hell I kinda wish I was with those protestors right now, but my parents are middle aged and immunocompromised and I can’t risk them getting the virus.
I would like to take some time to discuss recent events, but first let’s do the recap thingy.
So yeah, there are riots occurring because a black man named George Floyd was lynched by the pigs over a fake $20 bill, right after we already saw another black guy murdered in some backwards redneck town in Georgia, and when a racist white girl tried to get the cops to murder another black guy because she was told to keep her dog on a leash. Since then, peaceful protests turned into riots because the cops have been fired on non-violent protestors, and in an entire precinct being burned to the ground.
All I can say in response to these riots is that I am shocked and disgusted… that they didn’t happen a fuckton sooner! If anything, the cops have behaved far more sickeningly than any of the rioters. These scumbag cops are so used to doing whatever the fuck they want without consequences no matter who gets hurt or killed. Yes, I’m not coming across as very well spoken or articulate. I’m not sounding professional yada yada. That’s because I’m fucking tired. I’m so damn tired of pretending everything is great!
Yes, I know, some people may actually read my gaming content to escape from the horror show that is current events, but just be glad that you even have that option. Hell I honestly feel like garbage over the fact that I’m doing nothing but sitting here in front of the key board and tapping away. I know I’m usually more subtle about my more extreme views when it comes to my writing, but I can’t keep faking it while this country is starting to devolve more and more into a fascist authoritarian police state.
For Gods sake, so many of these crooked cops think they can get away with anything, and they do this precisely because we let them. So many years we have been made to believe that the police were these brave and wonderful people putting their lives on the line to protect us from danger, when in reality they care more about locking up as many innocent people as possible for profit.
And I admit, I can see why some people are hesitant to latch on to blanket slogans like “All Cops are Bastards,” simply because it’s a very generalizing statement that avoids any nuance, but at the very least all of them are complicit in a violent oppressive system that strips people of their basic human rights for profit. There may be some who generally went in with the intention of protecting the people they care about, and there may be some who do their best to actively reduce harm rather than cause it. But the system itself is built with the intention of bringing out the worst in these people. “Good cops” risk getting fired or worse if they choose to obey unjust laws.
So quite simply put, I don’t feel sorry for the bastards. I can’t go as far as some who actively want them dead, but then again, I’m white and privileged enough to have not had a bad encounter with them. I know fully well I may be in the “fry em like bacon” crowd if that wasn’t the case, and I’m pretty damn sure the only reason that these thin blue line humping troglodytes don’t say the same is because they are too busy huffing their own farts to think about anyone’s experience except for their own. Hell that’s basically conservatism in a nutshell. “The system is working out fine for me so I don’t care herp da derp!!”
I just want to say I’m really proud of all the protestors out there, and I’m proud of our community coming together to support them in spite of our corrupt government squashing down on them and sending the national guard out. And I especially appreciate those who are helping protestors with bail and exposing these crooked cops. I wish I could do more to help, but showing up in person isn’t an option for me and I have little money that I can contribute.
Anyway the best option for me seems to be to take things slowly. Despite the fact that I still suffer from on and off depression, my mood overall is better than it has been in a long time, and thus the productivity with this blog is up. I would like to try and go back to having an update a week, but more and more things just keep popping up. I’ve spent the last few months or so struggling to help a friend of mine out of an abusive living situation and to find a new place to live. This alone has put an enormous amount of stress on my shoulders.
Last month, I made a post about one of my friend’s abusers in an attempt to expose them and warn the community about them. This resulted in my FB account getting post blocked for over a month, and as I am writing this, it still hasn’t expired. Since the, I tried to organize a fundraiser for her that has managed $800, but she didn’t get all of them because her abuser flagged it as a scam, which caused it to get taken down since she hasn’t used her “legal name.” I think she may be safe now but this situation has been one enormous clusterfuck after another, and it’s become so enormously stressful that it has drained all the energy out of me.
On more than one occurrence, I have woken up feeling emotionally exhausted and needing to go take a two hour nap only a few hours later. This has been an enormous drain on me, but I can only imagine how much worse it must be for her. It has gotten to the point where she lashed out at me for trying to keep her from killing herself. This is a woman who has been from one abusive situation to another and has been betrayed and hurt by anyone she ever trusted, and It’s because of this that I refuse to stop trying to help her, or why I refuse to ignore anyone I can help.
In addition to a writer, I also consider myself an activist, and I think protecting and looking our for our community and our fellow allies is vital in times as bleak as we are seeing. And those I care about come before my writing, so I ask everyone to be patient with me. Not that I’ve got any complaints or anything, and my output is still better than a few months ago, it’s just that this is all incredibly tiring.
Anyway, my plans for the next month writing wise will be to focus on catching up on my game reviews, and political updates will be done through Weekly Bern entries similar to what I did with the last one, as opposed to full blown Pink Tsunami pieces. At least that is the plan for now.
Anyway it is time for Patron shoutouts. Special thanks to bluedesolation, Brittany Eakin, Krysta Hunt, Dia, IceTheRetroKid, Rinnie S, and Sam Dermody. I would also like to thank everyone who has supported me in any way the past few months. It really means the world to me, and I hope I can keep this blog going.
As usual, I would like to remind you that you could seriously help me by pledging to my Patreon, or sharing my work online. You are also more than welcome to come join the Guardian Acorn Discord Server if you’d like to come chat with me and my peeps.