Guardian Acorn

Site Progress & Personal Update: May 2019 (Intensity Edition)

Something that I have been frequently telling others as of late is that the past few weeks have been all over the place, and I’ve had some amazing highs and devastating lows. As usual I plan to talk about each of these things but it feels weird nonetheless. I can at least say for certain that the intensity of the previous month means that my life is starting to get going, but thinking about where I’m going to is both exciting and nerve wracking. Anyway here is last month’s article recap.

Poem #99: Blood on My Hands

Penny Arcade Adventures: Episode Two (PC/360/PS3): A Penny Saved… (Detailed Review)

Poem #100: Forever Lost

Penny Arcade Adventures: Episode Three (PC/360/Ios): Something Completely Different (Detailed Review)

Poem #101: Little Hope

Standard Review: Luigi’s Mansion (GC/3DS)

Poem #102: Loyalty

Standard Review: Nekopara Extra (PC)

Thus far I can say the new schedule is working out for me as it has allowed me to more properly balance the time working on video game content and political content. I’m willing to bet that about 75% of the writing I did last month was on an upcoming political piece in a similar vein to my 2018 Midterm piece. Despite this, I don’t think I’m even halfway done with that piece so it may be some time, but I am enjoying my work on the piece nonetheless. I’ve also got a few other political pieces that you will likely see before that one.

As for vidya geam stuff, the downside to my new schedule is that I still have six games I need to write reviews for. I would have gotten another review done for patrons earlier this week but I had to take a week off due to the fact that my cat died a few days ago and my dog currently has cancer and it is unknown if we can treat her yet. This has obviously taken an emotional toll on me and made it difficult for me to put together another review.

But it is not the only personal struggle I have dealt with in the past week. The first of these relates to my review of Nekopara Extra and the backlash I have received due to it. The first was that a mutual on Mastadon blocked me once she figured out I enjoyed the game, which would not bother me if I did not have a deep seeded fear of being labeled as a freak.

As much as I hate to admit it, one of the downsides about the online left is the blatant intolerance and scorn of many people who I may otherwise assume are my allies. I’ve faced this less in recent years given that I genuinely tend to care about my allies and doing whatever I can to offer them a loving environment. Contrary to popular belief, being a leftist isn’t about walking a tightrope trying not to offend people because you will be torn to shreds if you don’t. Rather it’s a tightrope that I walk willingly because I actually give a shit about others and don’t want to upset them. That’s the part that many of these anti PC douchebags don’t get.

Their entire bit about how you will “never satisfy” SJWs is a cover story for the fact that most of them don’t even try. They are pretentious manchildren who care only about themselves and get butthurt over the slightest bit of criticism because they want to abuse others without consequence.

Having been one of those people in the past, I can see the appeal of not wanting to change your way of life or who you are. But there is another appeal to this mentality that often lures in those who DO care about others. Change is possible, but it is difficult and can only happen if the person WANTS it to happen. A fair number of people won’t want to change because they are pushed to do so through shame, scorn, and ridicule.

There is a key difference between the scorn that those on the left face from the right, and the scorn that those on the right face from the left. That difference is the fact that those on the left face scorn for who they are, and those on the right face scorn for what they do. Those on the right know this, but are basically in denial over it.

Unfortunately, there are times where certain language used by leftists may echo hatred for who someone is than what they do. I’ve all but run out of sympathy for the right wingers who genuinely think their way of life is under attack by culture warriors, but it is worth mentioning that there are some leftists who have internalized this.

The person who blocked me for liking Nekopara likely judged me based off the stereotype of an otaku obsessed with underage anime tiddies (or lack thereof) despite the fact that I was very critical of the more problematic aspects. In fact, I’m pretty sure they didn’t even read my review to begin with. This is not even the first time this has happened as I have had a fair number of “leftists” who claimed I was a pedophile because I liked Hyperdimension Neptunia and Senran Kagura.

I’m going to be blunt and say that I see little difference between these people and those who claim I’m a pedophile for being trans. Yes, one could argue the difference is that I can stop liking two games that are very near and dear to me and played a crucial role in me realizing I was trans, but when you are using one’s taste in video games as the reason for this judgement then you are literal scum. And yes, I do acknowledge that both those games have highly problematic fanbases, but if you don’t even take the reason WHY someone may like a game into account then you are a close minded prick.

I did also get accused of “being offended over nothing” by closet pedophiles free speech warriors but that is to be expected from neanderthals who piss blood with rage the moment anyone dares insult their precious vidya. That’s really all that reactionary gamer culture is, the final form of fanboyism. And ultimate these are the very people who are bad for both critics and developers because they expect to be catered to above all else.

And that brings me two the second stressful event I experience the week before I started writing this piece, which I started writing about. If one has been familiar with my work for a long time, they may have seen me mention a video game site known as Oprainfall a few times, or they may have even read some of my work for that site. I wrote for this site as volunteer contributor for nine months between September of 2014 and May of 2015, if my memory is correct.

Back then, I was… different than how I am now. I’ve discussed it enough how I had a bit of a history as being one of the exact types of reactionary douchebags I just described a few paragraphs ago. One of the most jarring aspects of my change is the fact that a lot of people I knew back then, did not change with me. Yeah I know it is a bit of a “no shit” scenario but it still tends to smack me right in the face every once in a while.

I ended up cutting off all contact with Oprainfall and any of its writers because it has occurred to me just how terrible this site is now. There were always some problems with it but they are much worse now. During the GamerGate clusterfuck, Oprainfall wasn’t directly involved and they mostly stayed out of it despite the fact that most of the individual writers (including myself at the time) were in support of it. There were supposedly a fair number moderate viewers in the past but the site is now past its prime and the only reader base is drowned out by the same toxic troglodytes that spent years claiming that GamerGate was about ethics in video game journalism only to have half their social media page consist of ranting about Anita Sarkeesian and Mombot retweets.

What made me come to this realization is a certain review by longtime Oprainfall author Steve Baltimore. I was previously friends with Baltimore for a few years following my departure from the site and I will say that he was never actively transphobic to me, but it is becoming increasingly clear that this was only because he saw me as “one of the good ones” at the time.

Right from the start of the piece, you see him fully acknowledge that the term “trap” is often used as an anti trans slur yet he simply brushes it off and decides to use it anyway. If you look at the comments section you will likely see why.

CW: Transphobia

Oprainfall transphobia

Yes, even so much as saying that “trap” HAS been used as a slur or referring to trans women as human beings leads to these pricks to complain. This is the audience that Oprainfall is catering to now. If it were just the term “trap” I may have been able to forgive them, but the fact that there was no moderation made this site’s priorities clear.

I decided I would post a comment on the piece. I never really expected anything to occur from it but like hell I’m just going to stay silent. Of course, Steve was silent on the level of hatred towards trans people in his comments section, but let’s take a look at his reaction once I called him out on it.

Oprainfall Transphobia.

Notice how much angrier they seem? Notice how those referring to trans people by slurs and saying they aren’t human is perfectly fine yet the moment someone calls them out on it, I’m “vile and hateful?” I should mention that I didn’t even read this comment until now because I didn’t need to. I knew that any response given would be a childish transphobic remark about how trans people are the REAL bigots and how no one will think of the poor transphobes.

Also, I should mention that I’m not the only trans person who has worked for this site who has left due to the toxic atmosphere. I’ve actually received an email of support from an anonymous trans person who quite admired how I stood up to these toxic pricks because she is too nervous to. That alone makes what It worth it that I even bothered to get involved.

I should also acknowledge just why site’s co-owner Crystal Colwell is so pissed off anyway. She’s pissed off because I blocked her on Facebook after I asked her to delete my articles and she refused. Instead she opted to remove my name from the articles and just have them listed as “former contributor.” She is quite literally profiting off of the labor of trans people while their site treats them like garbage and panders to reactionary bigots.

It occurs to me that I could take this further. I could very well take this to video game press and expose just how toxic this site is. Remember that PR nightmare that Brash Games experienced last year when Jim Sterling decided to tear them a new one? Remember how one of the key criticisms they received was how they pay their writers in “exposure” and expect them to write for free?

Having also written for Brash Games, I can tell you that writing for them was a MAJOR upgrade over writing for Oprainfall. Brash Games may not have paid you, but they at least did not require weekly minimums and treated all writers the same. Oprainfall was far stricter in terms of what was required with the added shittiness of having run entirely on a volunteer basis. One of the major reasons I left the site was because they removed me from the review staff, which was one of the key reasons I joined the site to begin with.

I will make this clear that having standards that your employees need to live up to isn’t bad, but you don’t get to treat your site like it is a professional outlet if you aren’t paying your employees. And yes, this is one of those things that I never really thought about until now. It is like when you break up with an ex and you stay friends at first until the detachment from them makes you realize that they are just flat out garbage. That’s what Oprainfall is to me.

An unfortunate part of my past that I regret ever being involved with. I could go much further with this. I could try to contact the gaming press and have them rain fire upon Oprainfall (pun not intended). I have decided against this though. I have decided against this simply because I don’t consider it worth my time to rail against a site that is far past its prime and inevitably crash and burn anyway. Much like the aforementioned shitty ex, I just want to forget this garbage site ever existed. And it is because of this that I have replaced every Oprainfall link on this site with an archive link. And I also saved the text of my articles so that I can repost them when Oprainfall experiences its inevitable drought and disappears.

I mentioned some good things have happened earlier so lets talk about them. The first of these is that I have been getting out a lot more lately. I’ve been on three dates in the past few weeks and may have another one this week. Hell I even got laid on the last one I went on. There is a special joy to being a polyamorous lesbian.

Additionally, I have also been focused more on political writing and have finally got my next piece out, and I have a few more planned. My new upload schedule has also worked out well and I’ve been doing pretty well for myself I must say.

Anyway it is time for me to shout out my patrons as usual. Special thanks to Alice Frances Timawa, Winter, Beverly Martin, BlueDesolation, Cesar Zamudio, IceTheRetroKid, Jennifer Hogueison, Meiastra, Rinnie S, and Tammy Solomon. Thank you all very much for your support and I am hopeful I can provide enjoyable content to you for years to come.

If you would like to support me or this site, then please support my Patreon if you would like to see higher quality content with more resources to put towards it. If you don’t want to spend any money on me, then you can also help out by simply sharing my blog on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit, or anywhere else where others will see it. You can also follow this blog if you would like to be kept up to date on my stuff, or you could follow me on any of my social media pages (listed at the bottom of the page) and could stop by The Guardian Acorn Discord chat if you would like to talk to me and my homies.


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