I’ve never been one to avoid connecting my personal life into my game related articles. After all, if someone is reading this blog then it’s because I have a unique style that no one else can replicate. I may as well not hide the fact that I am an individual person with her own experiences and feelings. It is those experiences that make me who I am and it is who I am that allows me to do what I do.

Fittingly enough, this week’s song is about learning to take care of and believe in yourself, and given what just happened I cannot think of a more appropriate time to cover it. The song is titled, appropriately enough, “Believe in Myself” and is the character theme of Tails from Sonic Adventure.

The last time I covered a character theme from Sonic Adventure it was Sonic’s theme “It Doesn’t Matter.” I find it quite surprising how well the character themes speak to not only the characters but also to the the real life traits and scenarios that inspire them. Sure the story and writing of Sonic Adventure is laughably corny and exaggerated but there is such a strong sense of passion to it that is expressed in these songs.

In a previous draft of this article, I mentioned my now ex GF because this song connects with me even strong after this breakup than it did when I was a child. To put it in simple terms, my ex is to me what Sonic is to Tails. For the longest time I held little to no self confidence and have instead held an obsessive devotion towards her. She inspires me in nearly every way and I not only want to be with her, but I also want to be LIKE her.

I recently realized that the reason the breakup happened was that she realized my love for her was unhealthy and that she needed to let me go if I was to grow and overcome my own personal demons, quite similar to Tails’s story where he gets separated from Sonic after the failed assault on the Egg Carrier. It was not until now that I even realized it was possible to feel this devoted to someone else that even being away from them on your own becomes a conflict in and of itself.

“Believe in Myself” characterizes this conflict perfectly with the upbeat rock melody and the passionate vocals coming from Karen Brake. There is such a raw sense of emotion coming from this song and the instrumentation harmonizes perfectly. The song is maximum emotional cheese and is greatly inspiring and powerful.

But the lyrics are enough to almost bring a tear to my eye in just how much they connect with me at this time. Since I did so for “It Doesn’t Matter,” it would be unfair for me to not examine them here.

When all alone in my chair, I just go about wishin’

I wanna be strong, I really wanna be trusted

When all alone in my bed, I just go about yearnin’

I wanna be cool, I also wanna be like him

The purpose of this song is to contrast Tails’ character to that of Sonic, and thus the thematic expression is going to contrast from that of “It Doesn’t Matter.” This sums up Tails’ desire to be like how he views Sonic; strong, trusted, and cool. But the thing to note about idolization is that the person being idolized rarely sees themselves as strong and powerful either. The world is scary and vast and no matter who you are, you’re only one person. The ability to have strength and confidence in yourself without being an egomaniac about it is not common, and thus many of us assume it isn’t something that can be obtained.

But that’s not somethin’ I can do so easily

This is not simply my way, my style

Gotta get a hold of my life

Unlike Sonic who simply “has his way, his own waaayyyyy-aaayyyyy,” Tails is much more soft and isn’t as brave as Sonic. He’s much more easily scared and nervous, more prone to self doubt and fears of failure, and thus thinks he’s not as good as him. His entire arc in Sonic Adventure 1 is about stepping up to the plate and preventing Robotnik errrr Eggman from destroying Station Square by detonating a dud missile manually. Eggman appears to be an incompetent goofball for most of the game yet in Tail’s route he comes across as legitimately intimidating. This was an admittedly clever way of portraying Tails’ own character flaw and thus making it much more significant when he beats Rocket man and his Eggwalker that’s a LOT bigger than in in the next game.

And yes this also applies to me personally since I DO need to undergo some serious changes and “get a hold of my life.”

I wanna fly high

So I can reach the highest of all the heavens

Somebody will be

Waiting for me so I have gotta fly higher

Gotta keep goin’

Everything is a brand new challenge for me

I will believe in myself

This is the only start for me

“Fly high” serves as a double meaning in terms of both literally flying high via the tornado and his own flying ability, while also using it as a metaphor for success and overcoming adversity. “Somebody” will be waiting for him up there, most likely Sonic thus lending more credibility to the idea that being like Sonic is his ultimate goal.

“Everything is a brand new challenge” in the sense that everything life throws at you and that you suffer from is a test of your resolve rather than a sign that you should stop. “This is the only start” means that it is the beginning of a change in one’s core sense of self in order to achieve their goals. IE: I have not truly been myself until now.

Many friends help me out

In return I help them

Certain things I can do, and there’s things that only I can do

No one’s alone

This is meant to serve as a reminder that Tails DOES have friends other than Sonic and that plenty of people rely on him. Additionally he also has talents that no one else does and can use to his advantage. Sonic can’t fly and he also doesn’t know how to build fancy tech gadgets. And ending it is the message that no one is truly alone in this world as there will always be at least some people who have your back. Then you have a chorus repeat and the song is over.

And yes, this song touches me far greater than when I was a kid simply because I know many people view me as strong and confident, but I don’t feel that way. I am doing far better at that than I used to and I have even started to become the Sonic of a few other women that I care about. I’ve already started to build myself up and will overcome these issues, and hopefully I can get all this bullshit sorted out. I will believe in myself!

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