Top 25 Saddest Video Game Songs (12-1)

Top 25 Saddest Video Game Songs

Well here is part two of the countdown, and this is where the tracks start to get very depressing. I am talking to the point of mood altering so be sure to wait until you’re in a somber or depressed mood to listen, or don’t. Listening to these extensively has had some unpleasant effects so that’s why it took longer than expected to complete this countdown. If you missed it, part one is here. Also SPOILERS in the blurb because I can’t talk about the full significance of each song without mentioning context.
Read more

Top 5 Games Reviewed on Guardian Acorn in its First Year

Holy shit folks. I was too busy wallowing in guilt and depression that I didn’t notice that this dumb blog of mine has been going for over a year now. I have been thinking about how I would commemorate this and considered focusing on my favorite articles posted here… but that would be mostly political pieces and I want to have fun here. So I decided I will instead focus on the best & worst games reviewed on this site this year.

I’ve been a game reviewer longer than a political commentator anyway. I’ve been reviewing since early 2013 but it only occurred to me this year that I could actually make a name for myself with my writing talents… okay maybe not but I’ll have a better chance of doing so and not needing a real job if I just create my own blog. As a note though, I’m only counting games I reviewed between the start of 2017 and May 6th of 2018 so that I can count my Brash Games reviews. So this means no reviews that were written prior but re-edited and posted here, as I’d like to talk about stuff I actually played recently.

So, out of the 30 + titles reviewed in this time period, which ones did I enjoy the most? Read on to find out. Links to where the titles can be purchases are embedded in the parenthesis over their respective consoles. Read more

Splatterhouse Retrospective #5: Splatterhouse 2010 (Xbox 360/PS3)

Splatterhouse | Pal boxart

TW: Strong violence and gore.

So, this review has been in the works for quite some time. I actually played this game before any of the other Splatterhouse titles, but I finished it after I beat the original 4. I will just say, this game was an absolute blast to play. Yes, captain contrarian strikes one last time before the end of the year, and that this game is what I consider the best game in the series.

Yes, the first two games may be more refined gameplay and design wise, and are thus “objectively” better at succeeding at what they set out to do, but the simple truth of the matter is that Splatterhouse 2010 attempts A LOT more. Even if it doesn’t succeed at everything, the sum of its parts still offers much more than the original games.  Read more

Splatterhouse Retrospective #4: Splatterhouse 3 (Genesis)

Splatterhouse 3 | Box

Ah, Splatterhouse 3, the most ambitious of the original series by far. A lot of arguments could be made for Splatterhouse 3 being both the best AND the worst game in the series (not counting Wanpaku Grafitti). Splatterhouse 2 perfected the gameplay formula of the first game, and thus our developers likely did not know how to make any improvements. As a result, they did whatever any good developer does when they can’t top themselves; create something that throw the old formula in the trash and start from scratch. Given the stagnation of series that continue to rehash the same formula over and over again, this is a sign that quality is put over profit; but the results tend to vary.

Read more

Splatterhouse Retrospective #3 – Splatterhouse 2 (Genesis)

Splatterhouse 2 | Japanese Cover

Splatterhouse 2, known as Splatterhouse Part 2 in Japan, was a good game, a serious improvement over Wanpaku Graffiti if you even consider the games comparable. I would definitely consider it to be among the all time greats of the Sega Genesis, and would strongly recommend it to those whom are fans of Genesis library given that it is often overshadowed by… just about every Sega published title on the system. Whether I would consider it a better game than the first Splatterhouse though, I am undecided on.

Read more

A Measured Response to Harry Brewis (hbomberguy): Objectification and Power Fantasy in Video Games

Senran Kagura Cast

TW: Mentions of misogyny, lesbophobia, biphobia, and transphobia.

I have been meaning to touch upon the subject of objectification for a very long time. I have mentioned it in a lot of my work and I have made it known that it is a very personal subject to me, and it has often served as somewhat of a berserk button of mine. By far the most viewed article of mine was a response to then Destructoid writer Jed Whitaker’s own article about Valkyrie Drive: Bhikkuni, that claimed it was “Dynasty Warriors for pedophiles.” To say that I was not happy with it is like saying that the Holocaust was a bit of a bummer. That article of mine is perhaps the angriest piece I have ever written (and that I ever will).

What  particularly enraged me was how patronizing and condescending that Jed was to his own target audience and how little respect he had, in addition to hideously homophobic and sexist implications present throughout, despite the fact that he was clearly trying to be a feminist ally. Due to not wanting to be lumped in with the gamer bro AIW crowd, I tried to make my piece sound as feministy as possible and tried to address precisely WHY Jed Whitaker’s views were as harmful as they are. It seemed to have the opposite effect as it actually became very well received among anti-feminist GamerGate supporters, enough so that it was even retweeted by Ian Miles Cheong (which is probably how it got over 1300 total views when most of my pieces don’t even break 100).

Read more

Splatterhouse Retrospective #2 – Splatterhouse: Wanpaku grafitti (NES)

Splatterhouse: Wanpaku Graffiti | Box

Now it is time for part two of the Splatterhouse retrospective, but that does not mean that I am reviewing Splatterhouse 2, although I just finished it on the day I am writing this. There is instead this strange chibi spinoff called Splatterhouse Wanpaku Grafitti that was only released in Japan on the Famicom. Seems like a strange direction to take the series in considering the only game released prior was the arcade original. Yes I know plenty of games have chibi spinoffs, but they usually wait until there is more than one title. The gameplay of Wanpaku Grafitti is also noticeably different from the original, so I don’t even know why it’s a Splatterhouse game. And no, there’s no gore either. The game was alright but nothing particularly special, and can be recommended if you liked Monster Party but kinda wish it made a little more sense and didn’t have game breaking bugs.

I could not quite understand what the plot was about from what little was provided. The original game ended with Jenny dead after Rick escaped from the mansion, and hear you have them as kids. Even more strange is that Rick starts out dead in a coffin with Jenny nearby… even though it’s supposed to be the other way around. Rick randomly comes back to life and is reunited with his girlfriend… for about two seconds until a giant pumpkin comes and takes her. Yeah I know, makes perfect sense.

Read more

Splatterhouse Retrospective #1 Splatterhouse (Arcade/TurboGrafx-16/IOS)

Splatterhouse | international Cover

TW: Violence and… oh fuck it, I’ll let the cover of the Turbo-Grafx 16 version speak for you.

Splatterhouse | turbo grafx art
Challenge accepted!

This last October, I bit off a bit more than I can chew with the planned Halloween themed content. My initial plan was to review both Euphoria and Sweet Home within the month of October, but I kinda botched that when I tried to simultaneously juggle Read more

Amazing VGM: Hell Chaos (Splatterhouse)

Splatterhouse (1988) | Hell Chaos

Well, this is the final VGM of the month and I am feeling hella satisfied that I managed to get a Halloween/horror themed VGM up each week. Yes, “Appetite” counts since Starless IS one of the most horrifying games ever created (albeit for all the wrong reasons), and “The Eye Awakens a Jungle” is a pretty freaky track even if Earthbound isn’t a horror game (although mu training, brain surgery on children, and Giygas should be enough to qualify it). So, what better way to end off this month than with a final boss theme from Namco’s arcade horror classic, Splatterhouse?

Read more