CW: In depth Discussion of rape, manipulation, gaslighting, emotional abuse, violence, domestic abuse, misogyny, DARVO, ableism, pedo-jacketing, rape apologia, objectification, sexual harassment, stalking, doxxing, grooming, and human trafficking. This piece will deal with some very heavy subject matter.

All claims of illegal activity are alleged.

I did not intend to address this situation any further. I had said everything that I needed to say in the last two pieces I wrote about this harassment campaign. Because of this, I choose to not comment on some of the recent revelations regarding this harassment campaign. Some of the revelations I choose not mention include the fact that nearly every prominent member of this campaign have openly collaborated with Kiwi Farms, (by which I mean it was outright confirmed since they stopped trying to hide it), or the fact that Turkey Tom was close enough to Milena that he intended to title his video after an inside joke.

I also choose not to talk about the fact that Demon Mama was cancelled for alleged child grooming in her Discord server, whose community Gayfesh and Staroxvia were both prominent members of, or the fact that several people in Goddammit Malcom’s own Discord server have repeatedly made sexual comments about Poppy’s child alter Pepper. I choose not to engage further because any rational human being should already know that these are bad people, and that it’s only worth discussing this if there’s a turning point. I think we may have reached that.

A few days ago, someone left a comment on my last piece about this subject, claiming that she was raped by Milena Harirsaz. For those who need a refresher, Milena (known online as Transpersian/MzMilena) is the architect behind this harassment campaign against Poppy. She put out multiple, lengthy documents alleging Poppy of serious abusive behavior, and a lot of people bought into them. I and many others have repeatedly pointed out the flimsiness of these documents, and the repeated abusive and unhinged behavior that Milena and her followers have engaged in, but no one wanted to hear it. I’m just going to go ahead and share a quote from my last piece.

“The truth of the matter is, Milena wants Poppy for herself, and hates Zena for being in the way. But at the same time, Milena does not genuinely love Poppy; she objectifies her and lusts after her. She quite literally compared her love towards Poppy to how a mother would love their child that shot up a school. Ignoring the fact that Milena only dated Poppy for 24 days and never met in person, Milena believes that a romantic relationship is about control, and about bending someone to your will to make them into your image.”

…

“NightWyld has stated on multiple occasions that Milena reminds him of his handler, the woman who existed to “prep” him for abuse at the hand of worse and more violent individuals. The reason for this is because Milena’s intentions and methods are identical to that of NightWyld’s handler. Milena isn’t just trying to condition Poppy into accepting emotional abuse, she’s trying to condition her into accepting sexual abuse. Milena literally convinced Poppy that she was raped, and then proceeded to protect her rapist. The message is clear “if Poppy is raped, it’s her fault.”

Considering Milena’s lust towards Poppy, and her intention of breaking her down, and the willingness to condition Poppy into tolerating sexual abuse, a horrifying picture of Milena’s ultimate intentions is paint. Milena wants Poppy as a sex slave, and if she can’t have her, no one will. In other words, Milena is trying to groom her. With this realization in mind, I highly encourage you to go back and look at everything Milena has ever said and see how much shit is re-contextualized with this knowledge.”

…

“Milena organized a harassment campaign in order to get Poppy to lose her job, so she’d be financially dependent on her. She wanted to get her offline so Poppy couldn’t speak about any abuse Milena put her through. She didn’t want her to believe Heyleigh sexually abused her so that Milena can sexually abuse her herself. And what does this say about her uncomfortable interactions with Adrian? That Milena is going to the lengths of dismantling Poppy on a psychological level. To take every bit of trauma from Poppy’s past to deconstruct her entire sense of self, entirely for the purpose of rebuilding it. She even dug up a website that was owned by Poppy dead wife so she could taunt her with it. What lengths are there that Milena won’t go to, and who else is she willing to hurt so she can isolate Poppy? And what’s even worse, is that Milena has been ‘supporting abuse survivors in deep and intense ways for decades.'”

All of my worst fears about Milena have now been confirmed. I just want to say, situations like this are the entire reason I wrote those last two articles. It wasn’t just to offer support to a friend, but because people like Milena will often hurt people in real life, and if what her victim says is true, then she’s been doing this for a long time.

The following is my exchange with the alleged victim, who I will refer to only as SB. I’ve decided it would make for easier readability for me to copy paste the text, rather than post a bunch of screenshots, but if you would like to view the screenshots, you can see them here.

…

SB: Of course Milena is backing up a rapist, she is one. She raped at least two women I know of, one of which was me. I knew her at 15, that’s when we dated and she ignored safe words and hit me. She used to write in her blog that she wanted to break me emotionally. I still have moments where I think people pressuring me into sex is the only way they love me. I haven’t seen her in more than a decade. Doesn’t look like she’s changed at all. Which is terrifying and pathetic

Me: Holy shit, I’m so sorry you had to experience this. I knew she was utterly repugnant, but this is low even by her standards. If you have any archives or evidence of those old blogs of hers existing, please send them to me.

Me: Additionally, you are more than welcome to talk to me if you need any company. Considering the amount of harassment that Poppy and I have received due to Milena’s actions, I can assure you that I’d be more than sympathetic. If what you’re saying is true, then there’s no telling how many people she’s done this to.

SB: Unfortunately, it was on Xanga which has since made it so you can only bring the old blog entries if you have the sign in. She also had a “secret xanga” which I have since forgotten the name of anyways. I wish I could find it, because it was so fucking damaging. I still remember when I was dumped by a person I dated after her, and I went to her in tears because she said we were friends. She decided to kiss me and when she was leaving she choked me because that was something I liked when we hooked up. I did not kiss her back. I did not consent to any of it. I haven’t seen her since. I still get weird about things near my neck. I actually found your blog because I had a panic attack with my husband because something clicked to remind me of her.
I appreciate the offer of company. I might take you up on it.

Me: I’m glad that you found my blog, I’m sure it also means a lot to Poppy to know that she’s not alone in this, and I don’t doubt that there are others as well.. I also wanted to ask a few more questions regarding her, because I may write a follow up piece to this one if there is enough information to warrant one. That being said, it’s no rush or pressure, as I fully understand that it would be difficult to recount everything that she has done since then. Also for clarity, when you said that she raped you at 15, was it you who was 15 or her? I assume it’s the former because I know Milena is in her 30s now. In this case, it makes it all the more disturbing since it would make her a pedophile as well, which is quite ironic considering how often Poppy and I have been pedojacketed by her followers.

Me: Also, with regards to her Xanga blog, do you know the title or username she used for either of them? If so, I could search to see if there are any archives of it left, or anything connected to said usernames. Additionally, have you pursued criminal charges against her? In California, which is where I assume this happened since Milena still lives there, sex crimes against minors have a lot of leeway for prosecution. Meaning, Milena can be in serious trouble here.

https://ericdaviscriminallaw.com/what-is-the-statute-of-limitations-on-sexual-assault-cases-in-california/

SB: I was 15, I think she was 16 at the time. She was best friends with someone I went to middle school with who was a year older than me but we were in high school when we started dating. She did like dating younger folks, but I don’t know if it was ever illegal.

SB: The xanga that I remember was prowlinglunatic.
I haven’t pursued criminal charges, and I don’t want to. It would just be her word against mine and it happened so long ago.
I am honestly more afraid of her emotionally than I ever was physically. She is charming and could convince so many people of so much. I don’t need that. I just kinda wanted you to know some more history and that none of this is new.

Me: A question, how old are you now? I’m just trying to see if the ages line up, since I believe she’s in her 30s, and I’d assume you’d also be around that age. Regardless, it’s very brave of you to come forward, and to remind you that you are not alone in this.

After this, I sent an email to her to ask further questions, with which the following exchange occurred. Note that I did get her name and other identifying info, but I am also choosing to redact said info from this piece, as I’m not willing to let Kiwi Farms track her down.

Me: Hello, this is Annie from Guardian Acorn

I felt I should message you here so we can discuss this in private, rather than in the comments section of my article.I have gone ahead and found Milena’s old Livejournal page using the same username you mentioned, and have also found some archives of her Xanga page. These archives were enough to confirm that they belong to her. I don’t think any of them contained what you messaged specifically, but they did contain some creepy states about vengeful exes, and some overall gross and creepy comments about women.

I would like to at the very least get the word out about the shit she has done to other people, so that the communities she’s wormed her way into are less trusting. I fully understand how difficult it is to go up against someone like her, speaking as someone who has been the target of a number of people who haven’t approved of me speaking out against them (Milena is sadly not the only one). If I do write another piece, I’d be more than willing to keep your identity anonymous, as I’ve seen more than enough to believe you on this.

Also, if you are in contact with, or know anyone else who has been harmed by her, I’d be more than willing to include their stories and testimony as well, and to also keep them anonymous.

I once again need to applaud you for coming forward on this, as i know reliving anything she’s put you through must be difficult, and would also like to remind you that you have both mine and Poppy’s support going forward.

SB: I don’t still talk to anyone that was with her, unfortunately. I have avoided anything to do with her for probably a decade. Except to kinda make sure her life wasn’t that great. I want to believe in karma. The last time she ended up in my life randomly was when she was dating a partner of a friend and I had told the friend that they were moving to somewhere near and going to be in the same circles as her and to avoid her and then they were like, you mean… and showed me a picture. But that was years ago and that friend and I barely talk and they broke up with their partner and that partner and I never got close.

SB Oh, if you ever talk to Milena, ask her about her slam poem from high school literally titled “I am a rapist” about her girlfriend before me and what she did to them.

Me: I am not on speaking terms with Milena, would you be willing to tell me about this Poem or her last GF? I apologize for asking you to recount so many details, I just want to get this info out there in the next piece. I’m genuinely disgusted that this was someone that financially supported me in the past, even if said support was so she could control me and turn me against one of my friends. Once again, I really appreciate you reaching out with this, and I hope you are doing well now.

Me: I also would like to ask how old you are now (so I can make sure the ages line up), and if you could provide time frames for everything that happened. Doesn’t need to be exact dates or anything, just like the year or so. I say this since there will inevitably be some people scrutinizing this story, and I want to make sure it holds up. Additionally, there has been the concern brought up that Milena could have made all this up as a ploy specifically to fuck with me and Poppy. I know this may sound insane, but this is also one of the most underhanded and manipulative people I’ve ever encountered, though I’m sure you are aware of that. I personally believe you, it’s just good to have as strong a case as possible.

SB: Annie-
Things I remember about the poem:
She wrote a poem about raping her first GF. Her friends suggested she not perform it out loud.
Things I remember about her talking about raping that girlfriend:
She gave the normal, “she teased me until I couldn’t stop” explanation (which I took as being okay because I was young, in love, and naive af).

Story about meeting and dating her:

I met her before she came out. I was 15, I think she was 16 but might have been 17. She went by the nickname Mujah at the time. We had mutual friends. I used to roller skate with her best friend’s older brother. I was pretty good friends with her best friend’s younger brother. The best friend was named [NAME REDACTED]. We met at the roller skating rink. The rink was called [LOCATION REDACTED] at the time. It doesn’t exist anymore. I used to hang out there every weekend. We met in April of either 2004 or 2005, I think it was 2005. We went on our first date on April 24. I’m pretty sure we went to a movie. I remember my dad drove us. She told me about raping Robin (her previous girlfriend, I don’t think that she goes by that name anymore, but I’m not sure. I haven’t talked to her since college) a couple weeks into being together. Being naive, I believed her when she said she had really not wanted to do it. 

About a month into our relationship was the first time we had sex. I was in a manic episode at the roller rink and she and I went to my best friend’s house and had sex in the garage. 

The first time she started testing my limits was a couple weeks later, I think. What I remember vividly is that we had fake metal handcuffs and she put them on me when I was naked and left the room with me just there. My family was home and she thought it would be funny if I was just stuck there because she knew I’d be too embarrassed to call a family member or her to help me. Luckily there was a button to open them up since they were made for kids. We talked about asphyxiation because it was something she wanted to try. I tried it and liked it, so we did that. There were a couple times that it went until I passed out, it didn’t matter what else happened. There were times we would have sex and she would go past the safeword. She’d make fun of the safeword. It was saying “green school bus” and she’d say things like “oh, green means go” I’d freeze. She’d mark me with hickies in unconventional places. One was my eyelid. She held me down for that. My 10th grade history teacher tried to talk to me about it, I just told her that my boyfriend (as I didn’t know she was a woman yet) thought it’d be funny so it was no big deal. We broke up over the summer. She cheated on me (I know she’s polyam now, as am I, but we weren’t then). We tried to remain friends, and by that I meant I was still in love and she took advantage of me a lot. 

I ended up 5150 a couple months after we broke up. She was there when I got taken to the hospital, she visited me, brought her walkman, we listened to the cure and she gave me pictures of her and her sister Paria. When I got out of the hospital, her first words to me were that I was crazier than her ex who was in a psych boarding school and that I should have been in the hospital for longer.

We continued having sex until I was 17, even though she was in various other relationships through that time. She slapped me a few times in the Fall. I remember fairly explicitly when she did it on Halloween one year. We got into an argument in front of some friends and my cousin at some point and she was very upset and she punched me in the face. 

When I was 17, I started dating my now best friend, but then he was just some guy I was in college with. Milena and I had sex for the last time right before [NAME REDACTED] (best friend/ex boyfriend) and I went on our first date. After I started exclusively dating [NAME REDACTED], she told a mutual friend that had a thing for [NAME REDACTED] that we had sex really recently. I don’t know if it was to get me to get dumped, but I wouldn’t put it past her looking back. I explained to [NAME REDACTED] that it had been before even our first date and he and I dated for 2.5 years after that. As [NAME REDACTED] and I dated I felt less and less controlled and tethered to Milena. She didn’t like that much. Whenever we’d talk and I’d pick on her like she’d pick on me I was told I was being very mean and she didn’t like who [NAME REDACTED] was turning me into. When [NAME REDACTED] and I broke up, I called her crying, because I thought she’d be there for me. She came over, we sat in my room. I cried to her and explained everything. She kissed me, or at least tried to. She said kissing me always made me feel better in the past and she just wanted me to feel better. Things got weird and I walked her out. That’s when she put her hands around my neck and she told me she hasn’t been with a gasper since me.  

I haven’t seen her in person since. We’ve had social circles that have overlapped but we’ve somehow missed each other in that time. There have been times I’ve actively avoided her after knowing she was hanging out in a certain group, but for the most part, I guess it was just luck.

You could probably talk to my best friend if you want as some back up, and I could ask my cousin to back me up, but I don’t really talk to anyone else from back then.

I’ve got a lot of other stories (unfortunately) but I feel like these were the important ones. I was not a perfect girlfriend or friend, but being with her fucked me up A LOT. I hate that some of it still has me. The reason I found your website is because my husband said he was going to give me a hickey but he couldn’t do it on my neck and it clicked something in my brain. I’m almost 36 years old and I just hate that it clicks sometimes, but here are.

I hope this is enough to believe me, but I also understand if it isn’t. My greatest fear from her wasn’t ever that she’d rape or hit me again, it was that other people would find out and then she’d convince everyone that I was a liar or that what she did wasn’t that big of a deal. Her charisma was (maybe still is) super strong, and she was able to do it before.

…

And now, it’s become apparent that this isn’t just about Poppy anymore. If what SB said about Milena having raped multiple women when they were both teens is true, then one can infer that Milena has been doing stuff like this for over a decade, and that there could be countless victims of hers. One little known fact about Milena is that she claimed she was kicked out of her local kink club over drama, but with these allegations in mind, it’s likely she abused the other members.

I must also note, that most of the piece was written before I had the full description of SB’s experience with Milena. I’ve been trying to warn people about Milena for over almost a year now, so a victim coming forward was always a matter of “when,” not if. The description she did give, however, was even worse than I expected. The fact that SB was not even Milena’s first victim, and that Milena is so proud of her actions that she wrote a slam poem about the horrific abuse she put her first girlfriend through. I knew something was wrong with Milena, but to have all my worst fears confirmed after being gaslit about them for several months. I don’t know whether that makes it better or worse.

But this is not the only information that I’ve gathered about Milena. SB listed the name of an old Xanga account called ProwlingLunatic. I have since searched that username, and have discovered a LiveJournal blog, which does, in fact, link to a Xanga page with the same username. Additionally, there are some archives of this Xanga blog accessible via the Wayback Machine. At the bottom of some of these Xanga archives is a link to a Facebook page belonging to Mohammad Mahan Harirsaz… that’s Milena’s dead name. Yeah, I don’t like revealing a trans woman’s dead name, but I wouldn’t have needed to if a certain someone didn’t rape someone.

Predators often target those that they believe are pure, naive, or innocent, because they have not adjusted to a dangerous world, and that they are easy to take advantage of. This is why so many predators target children, because they don’t know how the world works, and because they are often dependent on the people around them. Do you know who else has a preference for soft, nice, vulnerable, easily manipulated, and petite women? You guessed it, Milena Harirsaz! Just look at how she describes an old crush of her’s named Lani.

“For example, today I’ve chatted with Lani. Some of you may remember her, some of you may now, whatever, it doesn’t matter. She’s an adorable 5-foot-something-short-inches hawaiian-mexican-filipino girl. Just know that I was in love with this girl at one point and still love her absolutely and dearly. She’s been in Fremont for quite a while now and just now moved back to the other side of town, but she’s still TOO FAR for me to get to easily. It’s infuriating because I got to chat with her online and was reminded FROM TEXT exactly how funny and cute she is, and how she can make me smile. Just talking to her makes me want to find her and hug her RIGHT NOW but I can’t. So frustrating”

Just listen to the infantalizing and objectifying way she refers to this woman, and how she’s still fixated on her even though she knows that a relationship can’t work, or the desire to “find her.” The fact that she opens this with a physical description, it’s so unbearably piggish and gross, and the fact that this woman had the gall to pred jacket Poppy because she once made an advance on another trans woman who didn’t reciprocate. It also stands in direct contrast to the way she carries herself in more recent conversations, where the is a constant focus on appearing eloquent, cultured, and feminine. She’s like a female version of Patrick Bateman.

I also want to draw your attention to this blogpost about Craigslist’s escort session, and the language she uses to describe women.

She literally starts off by referring to it as a “meat market,” as if to suggest that sex workers are not human, but rather are slabs of meat. This is enough to suggests that Milena’s puritanical views do not stem from the desire to protect women, but because she believes that it’s “uncultured” and that it’s beneath her. This can also be seen with the dehumanizing ways that she refers to them as whores. And I know, the term sex worker wasn’t commonly used back in 2006, but she really is dripping with such contempt that it’s hard not to find it gross. However, this is not as concerning as the fact that she calls it misogynist… while also considering using this service herself, and recommending it to a friend. By the way, a “Geoff” was mentioned in SB’s email as a friend of Milena’s, though I choose to redact the full name since there’s no evidence that he did anything wrong.

This is enough to suggest that her puritanical attitudes are not held in support of women or as opposition to the objectification of women, but rather that they are held so she can be perceived as someone safe for women to be around. And as we’ve seen previously, this is someone who has bragged about how many vulnerable people she’s befriended, and let herself in the proximity of. It’s almost as if sexual predators seek out vulnerable and abused people because they are easy to manipulate and to inspire hopelessness in.

She also mentions a weird encounter with “someone she thought was a friend” being creeped out by her, and has made a few references to her “vengeful” or “kooky exes.” Yes, this is the same person who hates when Poppy refers to her as a stalker ex. Something one starts to realize when they look at Milena as a person is just how much of her criticisms of Poppy are projections of her own flaws. No understanding of boundaries, incredibly manipulative, attempts to co-opt therapeutic language without actual knowledge of the subject matter, collecting vulnerable people for the purpose of manipulating and grooming them, and making women very uncomfortable.

That being said, the most concerning piece of text from Milena’s old blog posts are from her bio. As you read these, keep in mind that this is how Milena choose to introduce herself to others.

“Expertise: I’m a fucking good therapist. As long as you’re willing to actually listen to some suggestions, I can usually at least help sort a few things out in your head. If you are an idiot, though, and catch me in a bad mood, brace for said advice to be blunt, merciless, and possibly brutal. I’m so good at getting ahold of how people work that an ex-CIA agent once said I’d make an excellent interrogator.”

…

“I’ve called someone after talking to them on the internet and they came from me saying, “Hi.” I’ve given someone an asthma attack from too many orgasms. I’ve made girls so horny that they literally tackled me onto the floor. Basically, I know my shit, and I’m not afraid to share stories. On the other hand, I HAVE had my penis vomited on. I’m not afraid to share those stories, either.”

So, there’s a lot to unpack here. I guess we should start with the fact that Milena says she’d be a good therapist, and then proceeds to claim she’s going to berate and insult you if you “catch her in the wrong mood,” or the fact that she cites a CIA agent telling her she’d make a good interrogator, as reason she should be trusted around vulnerable people. I don’t even know how to make jokes about this, this is just fucked up. And the fact that this is the same person who had her falling out with Zena and Poppy because Zena got mad in VC and raised their voice once.

This is clearly the mindset of someone who wants to abuse others, and to present their abuse as necessary healing. This mindset is actually very similar to that of anti gay conversion therapists, who are known for pushing their victims to suicide. Considering the frequent disregard that Milena has shown for well beings of people such as Saige or NightWyld, and the fact that SB has talked about Milena wanting to “break her emotionally,” one can infer that her intentions with Poppy are probably something similar. It can also tell us that Milena does not view therapy as something to help a person heal from trauma and to better their lives, but rather as a form of institutionalized abuse meant to make a person “normal.”

If this sounds troubling to you, then it should be even more disturbing that Milena’s hate campaign exists to discredit an actual, licensed therapist who has had unanimous positive feedback from her clients, and to get her licensed revoked, because Poppy does not fit Milena’s warped view of what a therapist should be. If one has read my last piece on the subject, they may even remember Milena claiming she knows better than Poppy’s own therapist, and asking to speak to said therapist. This is literally the same conversation where Milena declares herself “the cleansing light of the sun” and that Poppy is her “holy suffering.” Ignoring the fact that Milena is quite literally trying to incite Poppy’s therapist to commit a felony HIPPA violation, (which I am aware is quite the thing to casually brush off, but this is par for the course with Milena), there’s also something innately fascistic about Milena’s attempt to co-opt the language of mental health, while also showing clear disdain for the field itself.

Then there is Milena bragging about her sexual prowess. As with previous messages of hers, this sounds gross and piggish, and there’s not more to comment on, aside from the bit about someone vomiting on her penis. The first thing to note is that someone vomiting on another person’s genitals is a rather embarrassing sensitive story that most people wouldn’t want shared with random strangers. Yet, Milena just sorta shoves this in the face of whoever reads her blog, despite the fact that no one gains anything from knowing about it, nor does it say anything about Milena’s personality. Even this Frat boy esque bragging about sexual prowess at least serves the purposes of of saying “I make women cum, and that makes me badass!,” but there’s no motive I can think of for sharing the vomiting anecdote, unless it was meant to punish one of her exes for doing so by sharing something she’s not proud of.

This would, hypothetically speaking, allow Milena to assert dominance over one of her “vengeful exes” by sharing an embarrassing story from when they fucked. One may be thinking “Annie, that’s an oddly specific interpretation of this one off line from an almost two decade old blog post,” to which I would respond “well do YOU have a better explanation to why someone would post about a woman vomiting on her dick as part of her bio?” What confounds me about this is that I genuinely can’t Occam’s Razor my way into a simpler explanation, because the convoluted hypothetical that this was used to establish dominance over an ex partner is legitimately the only explanation I can think of.

To be completely honest though, that isn’t the disturbing part. Rather, it’s the fact that “I’ve had my penis vomited on” is the last thing you want to hear from someone accused of rape, especially someone who has been alleged to ignore safe words. I suppose this occurrence is common enough that it isn’t explicit evidence of sexual abuse, but it does suggest that Milena fucks people really roughly, and doesn’t take proper precaution. Once again, this is someone who was kicked out of her local kink community.

So, everything against Milena is still in the realm of “allegations.” While these uncovered logs did reveal some unsettling statements, it is highly unlikely that these were the statements that SB referred to. It also seems unlikely that Milena’s secret Xanga account will be recovered. That being said, there is still some teeth to these allegations, considering that the account that SB listed did, in fact, belong to Milena, which was further confirmed by her angry profile update on her livejournal page. Based on what was provided, we can determine that SB definitely knew Milena at some point in time. Additionally, the way she described Milena’s abuse bares striking similarity to the way that she has treated Poppy, and everything paints a pretty consistent picture.

While this is not sufficient evidence for a criminal conviction, there is more than enough for me to believe SB, even if she does not provide any additional updates. Milena’s pattern of behavior has been consistently destructive and dangerous to the people around her, and it is enough that I cannot in good conscience go without speaking out.

I feel it is necessary to create this piece in the event that anyone else who has experienced Milena’s abuse feels less alone knowing that others have made the same claim. I also would like to extend an open invitation to anyone who was harmed by Milena to come speak with me, including people whom I have had negative interactions with in the past. If you are afraid of retaliation by Milena or any of her followers, I will be more than willing to keep you name anonymous, though I may ask for evidence of any specific claims, and may choose to not share in account if I feel suspicious about it.

Lastly, I feel it is necessary to discuss some of the events of this harassment campaign, that I have previously kept quiet about for the safety of others. The first I would like to discuss is my prior friendship with Milena. I admit, we weren’t especially close, though she did financially support me. While it helped at the time, I must admit, I feel uneasy knowing that someone like her was responsible for a lot of my income. I was especially fearful of losing my financial support at the time, and because of this, I tried to stay out of things. Once I couldn’t ignore her behavior later on, I blocked her and told her that what she was doing was dangerous. She then proceeded to ignore this block to send more money to my Paypal, as a means of re-establishing a connection with me. At the time, I was suspicious, because this very much comes across as underhanded, but it objectively did help me.

I fully acknowledge, I was hoping that it was possible to resolve this with my friendship with both Milena and Poppy intact, though I later learned that would not be possible. Milena discouraged me from looking into anything regarding her own allegations against Poppy, stating that Poppy would not tolerate any dissent or criticism on my part, and that I’d lose the support of someone who protected me during one of my most vulnerable moments. That being said, I don’t think that was the real reason. I think that she was scared I’d see her for what she was. She repeatedly tried to tell me that recognizing her abusive behavior was the result of Poppy gaslighting me, much like how she told SB that her BF was making her into a worse person. Every conversation I had with her consisted of her trying to overpower me with statements that make no logical sense, but were emotionally overpowering, and meant to steer me to a specific conclusion.

This makes it all the more insidious that she frames herself as the victim when people don’t wish to talk to her. This is someone who will brag about ex CIA agents saying she’d make a good interrogator, while also claiming to be an abuse victim because she views boundaries as something to brute force her way through rather than something to be respected. It also explains why SB said that, in spite of being subjected to physical and sexual abuse at Milena’s hands, that it’s the emotional abuse that she fears the most. It explains why so many of her “allies” keep fighting with her. It explains why Nightwyld was initially reminded of his handler.

Now just think about how many of the people who turned on Poppy were in contact with Milena. The same tactics that Milena has used to convince a number of people that Poppy is some sort of monster, were most likely used to pressure her rape victims into silence. It is impossible to not connect the dots considering that the hate campaign against Poppy blew up because she outted her own rapist, who Milena started to ally herself with. There’s a reason I pointed out all of the sexual abuse apologia in the last few pieces I wrote. Because I knew something like this would happen. Hell I specifically remember NightWyld saying he choose to use Milena and Noehflake’s real names in case someone in real life was subjected to them.

Speaking of which, there’s the subject of Nightwyld. Good fucking God, if he had just waited a few more months. For those who are not aware, last month, NightWyld retracted everything, apologized to the people he called out, and deleted his Documents on Courtney and Milena. He has since become convinced that Poppy lied about being raped, has abused her kid, and manipulated him into doing their bidding.

As of right now, I’m the only active member of Zena and Poppy’s community to have maintained my friendship with NightWyld, at least according to what he told me the last time we talked. His apology video does not feel like it was made as a result of him reflecting on his actions, it feels more like a capitulation. It comes across as an abusers idea of what an apology looks like; complete surrender, and bending to their will. Considering the horrific and traumatizing abuse that NightWyld was subjected to for standing up for his friend, it’s hard to not see this as him internalizing all of the hate that he received.

Our private conversations left me even more concerned. He stated that what lead him to turn on Zena and Poppy, was when he talked about his feelings regarding Spawn in therapy. He was initially contemptuous towards Spawn because, he felt it was insulting as someone who has gone through significantly worse. His therapist then proceeded to tell him that the things Spawn alleged were, in fact abuse, which then lead to an internal crisis on his part, brought about by the realization that he held contempt for Spawn, because even the alleged conditions they lived in were better than NightWyld’s own childhood.

Talking to NightWyld about this was heartbreaking, not just because I felt bad for him, but because Poppy’s claim about Spawn was that they lied and exaggerated several facts, and that she even planned to make a video showing the necessary receipts to prove it. In fact, she intended to provide these receipts for the document on Spawn that NightWyld intended to create. I specifically remember one other member of the server reminding NightWyld that the problem with Spawn was that they lied, not that “Spawn needs to grow up because the shit they alleged isn’t abuse.” But NightWyld has since stated that a lot of what drove the creations of those Docs were based on manic delusions, brought about by severe trauma from being a survivor of childhood sex trafficking.

To add my own testimony as someone who was present alongside NightWyld in Poppy’s inner circle, I can confirm that this harassment campaign did have a significant emotional emotional impact, and he was often frightened of Milena and her followers attempting to track him down and get him killed by his traffickers, and there were even some fears that Milena wanted to start a cult, much like the one he was groomed by as a child. Even at the time, I thought that might be a bit too much, but I choose not to say anything, because it felt wrong to invalidate his trauma like that.

One aspect of trauma that often isn’t mentioned is the fact that being regularly exposed to horrifying, disturbed subject matter tends to prime you to suspect things you otherwise wouldn’t. The thing about Milena’s character is, she probably isn’t trying to run a literal cult or getting involved in organized crime (at least I hope not), but based on how she’s treated others around her, and based on what we’ve heard from SB, this isn’t to say that NightWyld’s delusion was completely unfounded.

I initially intended to write an article in response to his apology video, but I felt that engaging with this harassment campaign on any level would just be too painful for me. In all honesty, I think NightWyld should not have had public involvement to begin with, and if she knew how bad things would have gotten, I think Poppy would say the same. That being said, as someone who was often present with NightWyld during discussions not only in the SZP server, but also my own, the environment he describes does not match what I remember.

NightWyld seems to now be genuinely terrified of Zena and Poppy the same way he was terrified of Milena, and now many of his claims seem to be reversed. Last month, there was an incident where NightWyld invited fellow SZP member Alchemist Dreamers to Courtney Peet’s server. What followed was Chem briefly participating in server conversation, before talking to his therapist, as well as Poppy, after which he abruptly left their server. NightWyld then tried to talk him into returning, which lead to Chem blocking him, becoming very frightened of NightWyld, and even asking me to warn my own server about him.

As a result of this, the rest of the SZP server likely viewed this as NightWyld actively participating in Milena’s hate campaign, and viewed it as similarly to when Kreise also tried to approach Chem. This in turn, lead Poppy to make an angry post describing NightWyld’s actions as predatory, and claiming he became like those he hated (which is implied to be Keira and Milena). NightWyld, however, perceived this as Poppy comparing him to his traffickers, and now NightWyld is so terrified of Zena and Poppy that he believes they want to doxx him and get his traffickers after him.

Conversation with NightWyld has been emotionally heavy, as he has been terrified of losing me as a friend, but also believes it to be inevitable. He also seems very averse to the idea of hurting anyone, including that of Zena or Poppy, and believes that this whole situation has lead to him unwittingly enabling abusive behavior. On top of that, he refused to confront Zena or Poppy directly about any of his concerns, out of fear that they would get angry with him, which lead him to simply leave the server on his own.

He did something similar the last time he talked to me, where he blocked me mid response, but also said something about how he still holds me in very high regard and hopes to unblock me some day, but is terrified because I invalidated his abuse. The part about me invalidating his abuse was because I didn’t like his assertion that Poppy manipulating him into revealing the legal names of Milena and Noehflake, when I distinctly remember Poppy emphasizing that it was his choice. NightWyld seems to have a weird interpretation of the word “parasocial” where he believes that, because Poppy being a content creator means that it’s not appropriate for her to be friends with her own fans, and that any sort of suggestion is manipulation.

These allegations of manipulation honestly strike me as NightWyld being terrified at the prospect of receiving backlash for his actions, or potentially even acknowledging an uglier side of his personality. During the harassment campaign, there were a lot of people who went to frightening and disgusting lengths to trigger all of NightWyld’s greatest insecurities so they could provoke him, and it worked. He often would resort to threats of death or doxxing against the people involved, and it’s clear that he feels very uncomfortable with the side of himself that was brought out during these moments. This is especially pertinent considering that NightWyld was coerced into violent and deadly crimes from a young age, just imagine what kind of effect that would have on someone’s mind.

The reason I make this suggestion is because, his entire apology video was more or less suggesting that he is responsible for his own actions, yet to claim that Zena and Poppy manipulated him into this is innately contradicting to that, and the only way someone can simultaneously believe that they’ve engaged in psychotic, violent behavior that they are responsible for, while also believe that it’s invalidating to be told that they are responsible for their own actions, is that he’s dealing with an internal crisis over his sense of self. While there is some elements of “young person in their early 20s terrified at the prospect of responsibility,” as some peers of mine have suggested, the element of trauma greatly complicates things.

And I know there’s an elephant in the room that needs to be address. I put a strong emphasis on listening to NightWyld’s testimony given his past experience, and how Milena and Kreise instead opted to not only dismiss NightWyld’s testimony on the basis of his mental illness, but have repeatedly attacked him for it. So, now that NightWyld’s view has flipped, what is it that separates me from that of Milena? Well, aside from the fact that I never called for NightWyld to be institutionalized, tried to trick him into disclosing trigger words or personal info, made racist remarks about his upbringing, claimed he can’t have an opinion on trauma because he’s too young or because he has ASPD, tried to push him to suicide, mass reported his Twitter account, or leaked his private kink account… okay you get the point.

Well for one, Kreise literally told NightWyld to his face that he’s “easy to manipulate,” for one. NightWyld literally talked about his history of being gaslit, and his recurring fear of being a horrible, abusive monster. He literally wrote about this in his own Doc.

I know this may not sit well with NightWyld if he’s reading this, but I’m going to strongly anyone reading this to take the time and read the Doc that NightWyld wrote. . I’m aware that there’s a lot of painful memories and regrets involved, and I get that this isn’t an easy ask. But every convo I’ve had with you since you left SZP has left you treating yourself with the same cruelty that your abusers have. And this is all the more concerning since your initial claims were just proven right. Just look at everything you wrote with the added context that comes from SB’s testimony. SB found my article because I used Milena’s legal name, which is the entire reason these people made your life hell.

NightWyld’s Doc.

I expect that hearing what SB said about Milena will hit him like a ton of bricks. It would more or less tell him that his fears about Milena were entirely valid, and that he was right the first time. Unfortunately, he jburnt his bridge with the rest of the SZP Foundation, which will lead to a whole new crisis brought about by these revelations. It is because of this that I want to emphasize the following to him. You are always welcome in my community, and you will always be my friend. Believe me, I know what it’s like to go hard on defending a person, only for later revelations to completely fuck everything up. Most importantly, I wish you well.

The same also applies to Patchwork Heart/Dented Spork. I have some regrets of my own with how I responded to the harassment campaign. One of these was that I didn’t try as hard to maintain my friendship with Patchy as I would later do with NightWyld. This campaign has brought about a very visceral and uncomfortable feeling of rage within me, and that disgust is in full view in both pieces I wrote. When patchy turned on Zena and Poppy, I had some very harsh words for him. Considering that I was close enough with him that I considered him a younger brother, I can only imagine how much they must have hurt.

Like with NightWyld, I believe that these revelations about Milena will be quite uncomfortable to him. What lead to Patchy defecting was when a streamer brought him on promising to talk about his abuser Lily Orchard, only to pivot to drama relating to Poppy. This blindsided him, so he proceeded to look into the documents that Milena wrote, which lead to him getting scared. He later brought this up to Poppy, which lead to internal conflicts between the two. At some point, Patchy felt hurt by Poppy’s words, and proceeded to block everyone, and to kill off the “Patchwork Heart” brand.

The framing on this conflict was usually to the effect of “Poppy abused Patchy and drove him away,” but having spoken in the same VC as Patchy just before he left for good, I don’t think this was his initial intention. A lot of his anxiety was over the amount of harassment directed his way, and I distinctly remember him being upset to see Courtney Peet reblog a post by Blake Diamond pedo-jacketing him. For context, Blake Diamond was outted as an abuser by Patchy, and Blake’s response was to threaten to have him trafficked and repeatedly raped. Note: Patchy is a trafficking survivor. Reason #869,742 why Courtney Peet is the scum of the earth.

That same night, there was a bizarre moment where Patchy was so grief stricken and stressed out, that he switched to a pirate altar that, if I recall correctly, had never fronted before. I also remember this altar more or less agreeing with me at the time, and saying something to the effect of “oh what, another harassment campaign? He’s already been through like five of those!” Yes, I’m aware that this sounds really weird to those without DID or to those who don’t know anyone who is plural, but I’ve known people like this since 2013. It’s not some made up phenomenon, unlike what Milena’s apologists will tell you.

This also came right after Patchy had to make a video addressing the child abuse allegations against Lio Convoy, whom he has also had a close relationship with. In fact, I had specifically said that Patchy was welcome to consider me a big sis, because he lost someone he considered a brother. One of the reasons I was especially close to Patchy is because of the similarities between his abuse at Lilly’s hand, and my own at Cassandra Mel’s. In both cases, we were convinced we were something we aren’t, and had scumbag opportunists use that against us. It’s why I felt especially protective of him, and it’s why I felt so hurt when he turned on Poppy; because he apologized to people like Courtney Peet, like Stardust, and like Goddamit Malcom, who were willing to prop up genuine child abusers like Cassandra in order to get a shot in at me.

It’s because of this that I regret letting my emotions getting the better of me, rather than offering the support that my younger brother needed. While one could say that Patchy isn’t a child and should have known better and that he turned on Poppy because being yelled at scared him, and he realized that he’ll gain the support of his abusers if he convinces himself that Poppy is the abuser everyone claims she is, this vulnerability makes it all the more important for me to offer support that people like him need. Do you think it’s a coincidence that both Patchy AND Lizzie Orchard went from being groomed by Lilly, to being groomed by Milena? This is what happens when vulnerable people are lead to believe that you can avoid abusers just by trusting the herd, as opposed to learning how to recognize the signs of abuse yourself. This is even more important because, in some cases, there’s a very thin line between being a grooming victim, and being an accomplice, and the older you get, the less likely people are to care about where that line is.

I honestly don’t get it. How am I expected to believe that Zena and Poppy were these abusive monsters, when I saw the sort of horrific abuse that NightWyld and Patchy were subjected to before they were turned? Almost immediately upon their turning, all of the people that were willing to engage in horrific and appalling harassment and abuse tactics were suddenly talking about how amazing they are and how much they care about them. It’s love bombing, one of the most textbook examples of it I’ve ever seen. Both of you deserve so much better than this conditional, fake support, and so does anyone who was swayed via these destructive abuse tactics.

And the worst part was, I played right into their hand, and so did the rest of the SZP foundation. Well, to Poppy’s credit, she did try and reach out and offer kindness to one of her detractors. The problem was, she did that to Milena, who proceeded to take that vulnerability and kindness of hers, and use that to hurt her when she was most vulnerable. This, in turn, leads to her becoming lest trusting and more withdrawn. More likely to isolate and rely only on trusted friends, more likely to become paranoid. It makes them more triggered at the thought of losing someone, and thus, more likely to get upset if they fear losing them. And then people like Milena can capitalize on this fear, claiming that this sort isolation is “cult like,” and that she “doesn’t tolerate or accept dissent.”

Milena is willing to use love bombing to control her victims once they submit, because to her, it’s all about exerting power and bending people to her will. She’s willing to use the illusion of love and care to manipulate others to do her bidding. She doesn’t mind offering care and support to people who have done things she believes are immoral or predatory because she views the people around her as objects and toys to be manipulated, and doesn’t believe in an ethical or moral framework. Conversely, Poppy treats everyone around them like they are a capable adult, and views them as equals, which means that if someone betrays her trust multiple times, then capitulations are meaningless, because it doesn’t show any growth of character.

Things become complicated, however, with the realization that a lot of people are drawn to Poppy because people with serious trauma and mental health issues like nice therapy lady who says they aren’t broken people undeserving of love and care. Many of these people then joined the SZP server, where they interact with Zena and Poppy as human beings rather than as content creators, which means there’s an expectation that one gets their shit together. Unfortunately, a lot of these people have been unabled to process conflict, and their first thought is to run. One of the most devious tricks your mind plays on you is the inability to determine between a normal argument, and abuse. It’s not as if I’ve never gotten into an argument with Poppy. A few months ago, she was livid when she found out that I was talking Kreise.

The typical response from most of Milena’s crowd would be “oh look, Poppy doesn’t like it when people question the cult narrative. H-O-W C-O-N-T-R-O-L-L-I-N-G A-N-D M-A-N-I-P-U-L-A-T-I-V-E-!-!-!” And yes, I was terrified at the time because I get scared when people raise their voice at me. But the thing is, conflict is a normal and expected thing among friends. Conflict is not abuse. And the reason Poppy was upset with me talking to Kreise, and the reason I stopped talking to Kreise, is because she, along with Milena and Noehflake, sent a Cease and Desist letter to Poppy that also named myself, NightWyld, and Liana. Ignoring how hilariously stupid it was for some real estate guy from Florida to send a Cease and Desist letter that refers to me as just “Annie” without my last name, and to only send it to Poppy, as if to imply that she’s supposed to control my own posts, this means I’m now legally bound to Poppy, and Kreise is now legally bound to two rapists.

There was one remark that Poppy made during that argument that did hurt though. Want to know what Poppy did when I brought that up later on? She apologized for it and acknowledged that she got too wound up and said something hurtful. It’s almost like there’s benefits to trying to talk out your problems and treating your friends like human beings, rather than expecting them to be your caretaker. For what it’s worth Kreise, the convo we had was nice, but you really fucked yourself by getting yourself involved in all of this. The way I see things, you’re either a really nice person who has picked the stupidest possible choice at every opportunity, or you know what you are doing and are every bit as manipulative and predatory as Milena is. Unfortunately, I cannot bring myself to trust you, especially since you went ahead and rejoined Malcom’s server even after you told me you would no longer be involved, although in hindsight, I should have stopped when you leaked private info about Poppy’s server to Kiwi Farms, and outted NightWyld’s kink account.

I would also like to address Loomie, since there’s some stuff that I’ve kept secret in the last piece. I’ve talked about how Loomie said she became uncomfortable with the conflict as a whole. What I didn’t mention, is that ever since she reached out, and we re-established our friendship, is that she’s basically been on our side. I’ve kept this a secret to prevent her from getting harassed, but at this point, I genuinely fear lives are at stake if I pull any punches. As far as I know, the only people who knew about this outside of my or Poppy’s communities is White Nervosa, who still thinks Poppy deserved her abuse. Well, do you believe your wife now? Your wife, who has expressed concern that the attacks against Poppy were also used to invalidate her own rape?

How many people need to tell you that Milena is a vile, depraved human being until you fuckers will listen? Do any of you feel even the slightest bit of remorse for the Hell that you put Poppy through, now that what we’ve been trying to tell you this entire time is confirmed? Or is this going to be dismissed as another schizo doc, like you all did with NightWyld? God I feel so bad for him. To be gaslit to such an extreme degree that it makes you sabotage your relationship with a lot of your closest friends, only to have your initial claims proven irrefutably correct.

I’ve long lost faith in the online left, but for the love of Christ, at least kick the sexual predator out of your spaces now that it’s obvious she is one. I’m asking for the bare minimum and I still don’t even know if you morons can deliver on that. About half of you are just going to say “well it’s just a blog comment, I won’t believe Milena is guilty until her victim reveals her real life identity and gets doxxed by Kiwi Farms.” If you all had any conscience then any content creator who covered the Poppy drama and used anything from her Docs would be deleting their videos, but they’ll only do that if it effect their bottom line.

And if anyone else in the San Jose area of California has had been abused by Milena Harirsaz, formerly known as “Mahan Harirsaz,” or “Mujah,” (Once again, I don’t like dragging a trans person’s dead name up, but we’re talking about shit that happened over the course of decades before Milena even came out as trans, and some of them may not even know she transitioned), I encourage you to come forward, and if necessary, report her to local law enforcement. The following are some of Milena’s pre-transition picks, being shown for the same reason as the aforementioned dead name.

Honestly, the only reason I think this will have any impact is because a lot of you fuckers were already annoyed with Milena to begin with, and will be happy to have an excuse to get rid of her. You won’t learn anything, you’ll just find another trans person to harass. At the very least, this is likely the nail in the coffin of the Poppy hate bandwagon. Oh it won’t go away entirely, but given the amount of clout obsessed optics frogs involved, Milena will no longer be a part of it. Hell she’s already been pretty quiet. Rumor has it she may be getting sued, and decided to shut her mouth, which just makes it that much funnier that this all came out now.

Remember what I said last time?

Still think you have the upper hand? Because I’ll let you in on something, even when she was at her lowest, Poppy has been in better emotional health than you were in our last VC. And this is when you think you are “winning.” I’d hate to see what you’re like when shit starts going south. And believe me, I know what’s coming next.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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