CW: In depth discussion of rape, coercion, manipulation, gaslighting, violence, domestic abuse, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, abelism, rape apologia, objectification, sexual harassment, pedo-jacketing, stalking, doxxing, and suicide. This piece will deal with some very heavy subject matter.

There is nothing more that I would like to do right now, than to ignore the rage inducing cesspool of cruelty and malice that is the online left, and get back to writing game reviews. But I’ve gone too long without speaking out against the evil that I’ve witnessed. When ContraPoints received such immense scorn and harassment that it caused her to develop a drug addiction, I said nothing. I was regrettably critical of Natalie Wynn during that point in time. I took her unwillingness to condemn Buck Angel as if it was support of his actions, because I was full of rage, I wanted abusive people to suffer, and I couldn’t imagine feeling compassion for such people. As much as I hate to admit it, I played a role in the abuse she endured, and it eventually changed her.

She lost any will to stick by her values amidst the immense pressure. Eventually, she choose to subject Vaush to the exact same treatment that she herself received, because the abuse she received changed her. After experiencing enough abuse over a long period of time, people stop recognizing it as abuse, and start to believe that it’s just the way things are. They start to believe that an ability to withstand abuse is a virtue, and they become proud of their exploitation. They start to refer to it as “discipline,” and they start to look at people who acted as they once did with scorn. After they accept their own abuse as justified, they start to believe abuse towards others is justified.

When I saw ContraPoints choose to attack Vaush, I was disgusted and angry. I was also upset when she choose to treat Keffals getting swatted, chased across country lines, and traumatized to the point of almost killing herself as little more than a joke, saying she was “off the hook” because her abusers are now after Keffals. On an older account, I quote tweeted that post criticizing it, and within minutes, Natalie deleted her tweet. There was very little interaction with the tweet at that point, so it’s easy to conclude that this scared her, triggering flashbacks to her own mistreatment. Even when she has acceptance among the same crowd of abusers that previously hated her, that fear still lingers, enough that one negative comment was enough to remind her of all the previous abuse she experienced.

The irony of me being one of Natalie’s former haters, and then going on to criticize her for doing to someone else what I did to her is not lost on me. It’s almost as if to say that abuse is cyclical, and that every action of cruelty you take will leave it’s lasting impact, regardless of how little power you think you have. Yet, what other recourse do we have to overcome injustice, other than through brute force? After all, you can’t talk down the barrel of a gun, and sometimes, there’s no other ways of protecting others. Pacifism is only effective as long as everyone collectively agrees to abide by it.

I thought that seeing Keffals nearly broken by the collective trauma of dealing with cyber terrorist doxxing sites, and having her own “allies” turn on her over noodles and saying “retard,” being falsely accused of predatory behavior, and having her rape trauma used against her would push my feelings about the online left to their lowest level. I’ve continuously seen a pattern of people who go out of their way to help others get crushed to the point of life ruining despair by their own community. I thought it couldn’t get any worse from there. Then it happened to me…

I’ve already written two different pieces detailing my own harassment; one detailing the backlash I received for trying to rehabilitate a disturbed 19 year old girl and the false allegations spread against me in retaliation, and another explaining how I was gaslit into believing I was a pedophile and how the online left helped a sexual predator get revenge on me for not wanting to associate with them. I deliberately left quite a bit out of the last one There were quite a few prominent leftist influencers and content creators who engaged in the pile on against me that I choose not to mention, because I couldn’t afford to risk getting that kind of negative attention again. People who were around me during that time were frequently scared for my safety, and I had to seriously consider contacting a psyche ward. Most of the people responsible for this have received no negative consequences for their actions, and my ability to trust others was severely damaged.

I became withdrawn, and retreated to my own community, often being scared to leave my own server. A number of people who I thought were my friends either joined in on the abuse, or stayed silent as it happened. The few people who supported me were often scared to do so, out of fear for their own safety. I remember reading “Hot Allostatic Load” by Porpentine many years ago, and I remember it being horrifying to read, but I never could have foreseen it happening to me. Nothing can prepare you for the sense of despair, isolation, and powerlessness that follows.

One of the people who chose to support me during this time was Poppy Dialolique, a trans woman who is both a therapist and a content creator. She is the co-host of the Youtube Channel Zena & Poppy: Wholesome Degenerates, along with her partner Zena. They typically have a focus on matters of mental health, and often discuss recent internet drama through the lens of mental health professionals. The two have mostly avoided serious controversy until the past year or so, when an obsessive group of former partners and supporters started sharing allegations of abuse, inappropriate conduct with minors, and just about every horrible accusation under the sun. All that one needs to do to recognize this is to look up Zena and Poppy on Tumblr, and one will find a slew of deranged hate blogs attacking them.

I initially intended to go over each individual claim and refute them, while also pointing out the frequent abuser tactics used by these hate blogs, but then I realized that I can’t. The reason I can’t is not because these claims have any validity, and is instead because these people focus on throwing out so many accusations that it becomes overwhelming to address them all. This is accomplished by making as many frivolous accusations as possible, shit that no sane person would consider concerning, and to treat it as if it is a serious issue.

An example of this comes from a user called Dormiyusaur (@Dormiyusaur on Twitter), who made a thread claiming that Poppy had flashed her tits at it when it stayed at her house. In actuality, it was that she left the bathroom door open while she temporarily took off her clothes to get changed, while in the privacy of her own house. This individual is quite literally claiming to be traumatized because it saw a booby for a few seconds, and that this is tantamount to Poppy being a sexual predator. Any sane person would recognize this idiocy for what it is, yet lefty Twitter is steeped in the type of puritanism that hasn’t been seen since Queen Victoria, and pred-jacketing mentally ill trans women is a considered a favorite past time.

This individual has also shown a willingness to weaponize it’s young age as a means of hurting Poppy. I have talked about this in my piece about Cassandra Mel, and I will quote this here.

Teenagers online have learned that they can take advantage of their perceived innocence as a means abusing others. This is quite literally where the “I’m neurodivergent and a minor” meme comes from. They know that onlookers often don’t look at the full context. This is similar to how you can often find abusive women who take advantage of their perceived vulnerability to make false accusations against their victims. Both are examples of someone knowing how to weaponize their own perceived lack of agency and status as a societal prop in order to harm others by playing into their assigned role. And in both cases, the targets are often stigmatized minorities.“

This description fits Dormiyu to a tee. The only way that something like this could be considered controversial is because Dormiyu was 18 at the time, even though Dormiyu is legally an adult, in a world where there are only 4 countries with a higher age of consent than 18. Personally speaking, I think that one should forfeit the right to use the “I’m neurodivergent and a minor” defense, once they are no longer considered a minor by most of the planet! And don’t get me wrong, I’d be willing to take this a bit more seriously if there was any sort of serious accusation. If Poppy and Dormiyu had had a romantic or sexual relationship, then I’d be genuinely concerned. But that doesn’t apply to Dormiyu seeing a woman get changed cause she left the bathroom door open!

I refuse to believe in any universe that this caused any serious distress. Being a little bit unsettled from seeing a woman’s breast is to be expected, but there’s an insidiously misogynistic undertone to this type of slander. To claim that Poppy flashed Dormiyu because it saw her tits while she was getting changed serves to suggest that the existence of Poppy’s breasts are inherently sexual. Much like conservatives who attack mothers who breastfeed their children in public, Dormiyu can only be this disturbed by Poppy’s chest because it has conditioned itself to view the female body as solely a sexual object. Quite literally, Dormiyu felt attacked because Poppy was breasting too boobily.

It’s also important to note that Poppy is hypersexual, a condition often developed due to severe trauma. Poppy is also a trans woman, someone who is part of a heavily stigmatized minority that is commonly framed as predatory and deviant. Framing Poppy as some sort of devious predator for the crime of existing while bra less in her own home serves to exploit toxic puritanism and transphobia while simultaneously targeting her existing trauma, as I’ve also described in my last piece. And this was all in response to Zena criticizing Dormiyu for denying that poppy was raped. Remember, the cruelty is the point.

Given our culture of abusers framing themselves as anti-abuse, it can often be difficult to discern those who genuinely care about protecting survivors, and those who are abusers who simply pick a more convenient target. That being said, the one way you can always tell the true motivation of someone who claims to fight abusers is the level of cruelty they engage in. If they go on and on about how much they want to hurt and to harm abusers, and if they go out of their way to cause as much pain to others as possible, then that is a tacit admission of a sadistic desire to cause pain. And people who only want a convenient excuse to hurt others often are not concerned with whether their target is an actual abuser.

People like Dormiyu serve a similar purpose to Poppy’s stalkers that Carolyn Bryant Donham did to racist lynch mobs in 1960s Mississippi. The validity of the accusations don’t matter, they just want blood. And now that they have a convenient victim, they believe they can get away with it. Dormiyu is just one of the people who has come out with a ton of deranged shit about Poppy, and there are so many that I feel overwhelmed trying to even address them all.

Update: Since this piece has been posted, the little shit got so mad at me that it defended Cassandra Mel, a literal Nazi pedophile who consumes CSEM, and claimed that this 20 year old sexual predator is a child so it could justify pedojacketing me. Like, holy shit, imagine being a deranged Zionist and puritan that bum rushes their way into defending a Nazi that jerks it to CSEM. I don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse that the people who hate me are all so stupid.

It’s been tempting to turn this piece into an outright attack on every dishonest actor who chooses to attack Poppy and Zena, but if I do that, then this piece will turn into a novel. The point is that, much like Keffals experience with a certain doxxing site, and also like my own experience with online harassment, Poppy has already dealt with continuous abuse and stalking from a group of people that is mostly recognized as a bunch of deranged nutcases. These people alone cannot completely tank a person’s reputation, but those with established followings can choose to engage in bad faith “criticism” of these figures in a way that aids these malicious actors, while also pretending that they don’t support the obviously bad people.

With Keffals, this was done by a group of abusers who weaponized the language of leftists in order to attack her. They would clip parts of her streams out of context and repeatedly share old joke tweets for the purpose of finding shit to accuse her of. This was all done while she was being stalked by fascists and being swatted. Only a small minority of people would truly believe that Keffals saying “noodles are tasty” is a racist dogwhistle, but the point is to get her to act out and become more paranoid. Eventually, she starts to embrace edgy rhetoric and give her streams provocative titles out of spite. They then framed these sarcastic titles as dogwhistles representing her true beliefs.

I experienced something similar, where a bunch of people who previously had no issues with my taste in erotic fiction were suddenly willing to use it to attack me and pedo-jacket me, all during a time period where actual sexual predators were also saying that to discredit the evidence that I’ve shared against them. As a CSA survivor, I found it absurd that people would try to attack me over icky drawings while I’m trying to hold real predators accountable, so I shared a few cringey loli memes out of spite for these overly sensitive puritans. They later claimed that this was a pro-pedophilia dogwhistle, and used this to further demonize me.

If you already don’t like someone, you are more likely to accept whatever misinformation or attacks that someone spreads against them due to spite. Just look at how many people are getting tricked into retweeting Nazis due to recent anti-Israel sentiment. It was because of this that a number of prominent leftists still continue to boost a fascist Psy-op against Keffals even after it’s been proven to be one for almost a year. It’s also why just a few days ago as of writing thing, Cassandra Mel attempted to contact Dreamleaf AGAIN, in an attempt to manipulate her into attacking me so she could cover up evidence of her consuming CSEM.

In the case of Zena and Poppy, her detractors include some very dangerous people, some of whom have connections to the Farms. Notice the pattern yet? Now all we need is for a traumatic event to occur that gets Poppy to start acting aggressive and erratically, like say, a partner that she wanted to marry raping her and then breaking up with her immediately afterwards, and then going full DARVO when Poppy goes public with it. So, you’re probably thinking “that sounds very fucked up, how the hell can anyone be justified in treating Poppy the way they have?”

The answer to that, is a fundamental misunderstanding of how consent works, combined with good old fashioned ableism and slut shaming. To properly understand the following events, an explanation of BPD is in order. Borderline personality disorder is commonly cited as one of the worst mental illnesses to live with. It is characterized by immense emotional sensitivity and fear of abandonment or rejection. It’s been described as the emotional equivalent of having your body covered in 3rd degree burns; even the slightest touch is often horrifically painful.

Poppy has been quite open about having this mental condition, and so have I. BPD is a mental condition that is so stigmatized, that a number of mental health professionals refuse to treat it, and instead claim that people with it are abusive and evil on an innate level. So, when mental health professionals respond with this level of ignorance, how do you expect the average population to respond?

Well, if you grew up having BPD, then you probably had every adult or authority figure in your life accuse you of being “emotionally manipulative” for accurately expressing the level of emotional pain you are dealing with, or being accused of faking it. This, in turn, only feeds your sense of despair and lack of self worth, and you get made to feel like you are worthless, and that your existence is inherently harmful to others. So when you get attached to someone that makes you feel loved, your love feels especially strong. When breakups happen, IE something that people universally acknowledge as horrible, it’s especially bad. And when someone with Borderline breaks up with someone they consider an FP (favorite person), the resulting pain is indescribable.

I’ve only felt this level of pain once in my life, and I consider the year that I dealt with it to be the worst year of my life. Yes, I consider it worse than last year, where I was gaslit into believing I’m a pedophile, then having the person who did that leak DMs of me saying such, which resulted in hundreds of mutuals abandoning me, and what also lead to me getting doxxed and my family threatened. When I had this happen to me, it honest to God hurt so bad that I thought I was going to die. And I’m not talking about suicidal thoughts either, I thought that the emotional pain would literally kill me, because it was so horrible.

Yet, I think my situation was actually preferable to Poppy’s. The breakup I experienced was a result of careless and reckless behavior on my part, behavior that occurred because I didn’t know I had borderline, and didn’t know how to effectively cope with it. The woman I was with at the time was an amazing person, and there’s comfort in knowing that all this pain occurred in response to me actually engaging in unethical behavior, meaning there’s actually a lesson to be learned in all this. In Poppy’s situation, she just put her trust in the wrong person, and they were someone who turned out to be an absolute monster.

As a borderline patient myself, the idea of this horrifies me. Every BPD patient I’ve ever known has had to deal with recurring guilt and shame over their condition, and has had it beaten into them that they are an abuser. If you’ve internalized this idea that you are an abuser, then you’re much more likely to believe that you deserve to be abused, and that any abuse you experience is your own fault. Because of this, people with BPD are much more prone to being abuse victims due to difficulty recognizing abuse for what it is.

The name of Poppy’s abuser is Hayleigh (@Noehflake), and I’ve consistently seen Poppy struggle to cope with the fact that someone she loved and admired on such a dear level, is actually a horrible human being. Personally, Hayleigh invokes an impressive level of disgust and hatred in me, impressive in that people who are objectively worse such as Cassandra Mel do not inspire it. Maybe it’s just because Poppy is very important to me, and that hurting my friends has always got under my skin more than attacking me. But then again, Hayleigh is a rapist, and that normally tends to provoke a lot of disgust.

And yes, I am choosing to refer to Hayleigh’s actions as “rape” rather than sexual assault. I know that Poppy has previously made a distinction between the two, but she has since stated that the level of pain caused to her by this is now indistinguishable from that of rape. Forcing this distinction at this point serves no purpose other than to police how Poppy can respond to her pain, which is a fairly insidious abuser tactic.

Abusers will often attempt to de-legitimize their abuse by claiming that their victim is making a mockery of “real victims,” in an attempt to frame abuse as a sort of “stolen valor.” I’ve also experienced this myself, with my own stalkers citing gaps in my memory as a means to claim I fabricated my own CSA. Immediately after posting my piece on her, Cassandra Mel proceeded to use this very tactic in against me, while also claiming to be my victim.

Abuse survivors are often conditioned to be fearful, insecure, and to doubt themselves, so abusers will accuse them of them of being narcissistic and petty so as to play on their insecurity. One of the biggest examples of this is when TERFs claim that trans activists responding to their own oppression is “narcissistic rage.” And yes, it is worth noting that at least one of Poppy’s detractors has accused her of lying about having BPD, and instead claimed that she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Let it be known that I have a community full of people who survived abuse far worse than anything I’ve ever been subjected to, and none of them have ever felt the need to invalidate my own. In fact, these people have been some of my strongest supporters. It’s almost as if abuse survivors don’t actually believe that their abuse makes them virtuous, and that this is instead a myth used to make people accept their own exploitation.

It’s no secret that I have a bad reputation in certain circles of the online left, and that I’ve been accused of many number of horrible things. The one way that I’ve consistently known that I’m in the right is the amount of vulnerable people who feel safe and protected around me. This actually includes some fairly prominent figures in the online left (whose names will not be mentioned because I refuse to subject them to harassment for associating with me), and it reminds me of how shallow the connections between prominent online left figures are. Honestly it’s what I respect so much about Poppy and Zena, their community is so clearly focused on actually helping people grow and heal from past trauma, rather than petty clout seeking bullshit.

So, for those unaware of what happened between Poppy and Hayleigh, the short version is that they were partners for four months, and Hayleigh continuously acted in ways that were incredibly neglectful and hurtful towards people with BPD, and was frequently emotionally abusive, but Poppy had such intense admiration for Hayleigh that she was willing to put up with anything for her, and was blind to the abuse she experienced until after Hayleigh dumped her.

The day before Hayleigh officially broke up with Poppy, Hayleigh lied about her feelings for Poppy, and revealed that she only had sex with her the day before their breakup as a means of testing whether or not she still loved her. Had Poppy known Hayleigh’s true intentions, she would have never consented, thus making it sexual assault by means of deception. For an act to be truly consensual, the consent needs to be informed. It’s the same reason why things like stealthing are considered a form of abuse, even though one agreed to sex before hand.

People rightfully understand why it is predatory and rapey as hell for pick up artists to lie to women in order to get sex from them, yet a number of supposed “progressives” have willfully misunderstood the concept of informed consent in order to defend Poppy’s abuser. To quote the National Domestic Abuse Hotline, “Consent is a safe, open, and ongoing conversation about the activities you and your partner are comfortable with and actively want to experience together.” Hayleigh’s willingness to lie to Poppy about her feelings demonstrates a reckless disregard for the well being of her partners, and it showcases a gross level of selfishness.

That being said, this is not even the worst of it. Remember what I said about the level of emotional pain brought about by being dumped by an FP? Keep in mind that Poppy was in fear of that happening during their trip, and that she would have done anything to keep this relationship from ending. In other words, what Hayleigh did is the emotional equivalent of holding a loaded gun to Poppy’s face, and demanding that she put out.

And if you want to make some scummy, bigoted argument that “she could have said no and walked away,” well, keep in mind, this is literally how people defend adults having sex with 16 year olds, so if you want to go down the route of denying that the concepts of coercion, manipulation, and power imbalances exist, be my guest. Just know that it makes you unrepentant scum. It’s already considered common knowledge that having sex with someone while they are drunk or under the influence of drugs is predatory because of it’s impossible to meaningfully consent under the circumstances. So if you want to deny that it’s predatory to take advantage of a woman in the midst of a complete emotional breakdown to get sex out her, then you lose any right to call yourself a leftist, or a decent human being.

All of this is not even taking into account some other less than savory information about Hayleigh, such as the fact that she kept seeing a partner that almost got Poppy killed after she told Poppy she broke up with them, or that one of Hayleigh’s partners was 19 when they first started dating (Hayleigh was in her 30s. Keep in mind, Poppy’s stalkers have frequently accused Poppy of dating people significantly younger than her, when the youngest one was 23). This is also not taking into account the fact that Hayleigh has since gone full DARVO and accused Poppy of rape (which she later backtracked on when she couldn’t reasonably argue it), started palling around with Poppy’s stalkers (including the ones that almost got Saige Alexis killed), claimed that she couldn’t rape anyone because she’s Ace and experiences no sexual attraction (several DMs with Poppy demonstrate Hayleigh expressing sexual attraction), tried to contact Poppy’s workplace to get her fired, and claimed that “everyone she flirts with is an FP” (something she has no evidence of btw, just relying on casual slut shaming and misogyny).

Note that despite Hayleigh’s claim that Poppy had abused her, she has shown no signs of distress, nor does any of this seem to have impacted her life in any serious way. Conversely, Poppy has consistently been under extreme distress and suicidal ideation, and this much can be seen even in her tweets. That being said, I’ve also been in close contact with her and Zena throughout this entire ordeal, and I can confirm that yes, it has fucked her up. I did not initially plan to get involved with this conflict out of fear that my poor reputation on lefty Twitter would turn more people against her, but what I’ve come to realize is that the abuse I’ve experienced was not a fluke, and instead represents and ongoing cycle.

Hayleigh is an utterly repugnant, human being, and she demonstrates all the tropes of an abusive partner. The only way she could be more stereotypical at this point is if she said “look what you made me do.” In any just universe, this woman would have been chased offline, but instead, people who call themselves “leftists” are attacking her victim while she faces no consequences.

It DOES need to be noted that it’s not unheard of for people to weaponize false accusations of abuse, and especially of rape and pedophilia. These accusations have been a core component of the harassment campaign against Zena and Poppy, as well as that of many queer content creators. It isn’t enough to just say “believe all victims,” because this can often be weaponized by false actors as a means of smearing vulnerable people. Rather, it’s important to recognize abusive patterns and behavior for what they are, and to learn how to properly judge character.

The aforementioned Dormiyu, for instance, deliberately brought up their accusation against Poppy in retaliation for holding Hayleigh accountable for her own abuse. Dormiyu also has deliberately crafted its narrative to be something that Twitter leftists who operate more on vibes than on any understanding of consent or abuse would eat up. Poppy getting changed in her own house has been changed to “Poppy flashed me.” Hayleigh’s sexual abuse of Poppy, meanwhile, is more complicated because less people understand consent beyond “just say NO to rape!” And it’s important to note that this was not a one off post by Dormiyu either, this subhuman piece of shit has continuously attempted to derail any attempts to hold Hayleigh accountable for their actions by going “HEY, Poppy flashed me, she’s the REAL predator!” It’s incredibly transparent and manipulative.

Dormiyu is not the only figure to take advantage of Poppy’s vulnerability and launch a smear campaign against her to defend her rapist. There have been a number of people who have leapt to the defense of Poppy’s rapist, and have gone out of their way to discredit Poppy by any means necessary. It started whena user called Fae’rynn (@Faerynnistired on Twitter) posted a thread of screencaps of Poppy begging Hayleigh to not leave her in the midst of a panic attack in a text convo they had before the meet up, using screenshots obtained after her friend deliberately mislead Poppy into believing she could trust her. This is used to claim that Poppy is abusive and manipulative, and that Hayleigh was pressured into sex with Poppy.

Another user called Gayfesh (@GayestFesh on Twitter) then proceeded to burn his bridge with Poppy based on this thread, while also making a number of scummy claims on his own, such as accusing Poppy of supporting the trans panic defense based on a misreading of a Yale article that Poppy linked to him.

This is an especially insidious tactic in that it not only frames an abuse survivor having a panic attack as “manipulation” but it also implies that Poppy would deserve to be raped even if she WAS manipulative. Even if Hayleigh wanted nothing to do with Poppy, and only met up with her because Poppy begged her to, it would not justify her actions. The only thing that Fae’rynn and Fesh have evidence to argue for is that Hayleigh did not initially want to go to the meet up, and they deliberately prime people to assume that Hayleigh never mislead Poppy when they ACTUALLY met up in person.

The message sent to Poppy is that “unless you have video evidence of Hayleigh taking advantage of you and lying to you, then you’re an abusive liar.” It’s something that happens all too commonly when rape survivors try to hold their rapists accountable, yet one would think the left would be different. That being said, Poppy DOES have screenshots of Hayleigh misleading her, but the problem is that looking at those screenshots forces her to not only relive her horrific rape, but also to remember when she thought Hayleigh loved her, effectively re-opening her wounds every time.

So you know what, I’m not going to ask her for those screenshots. To be quite frank, if what I have shown you is not enough for you to believe, then you are rape apologist scum, and are no different from those neckbeards that show up to smear every woman who holds a powerful person to account for their sexual abuse. I refuse to force Poppy to relive that horrible event again just to have a stronger argument against those who clearly don’t want to believe Poppy anyway. No individual argument against Poppy has any significant merit, and they are all asinine. However, the point is to overwhelm Poppy and her supporters with scummy arguments so that they can’t counter them all. Then they mine her reactions for anything they can use to paint her as unhinged and abusive, so they can prime more impressionable people into distrusting her.

Or at least, that’s what the initial plan was before Saige posted a screenshot of Hayleigh perfectly describing and admitting to rape by deception, but not wanting to call it rape.

One other tactic that Fesh likes to employ is to engage in definition trolling, where he’d deliberately post shit like “you can’t commit sexual assault over Discord because you have to be physically present.” This was meant to invalidate Saige’s anger towards being sexually harassed by @AztecTunes. Yet, it’s sneakily worded so that Fesh can nuance troll and say “well ackshually that would be sexual harassment, not assault.” This is done so that Fesh can pull a Schrodinger’s sex pest when someone points out that this is a horrible argument that is used to defend CSEM. The intent is to deliberately strike at Saige’s trauma, and to frame her as overly emotional when she points out how disgusting it is. It’s a common tactic among rape apologists and men’s right activists as well.

I should also note that I have prior experience with Gayfesh myself. Gayfesh was mutuals with me for a significant amount of time when I was still on Twitter, including when I defended Cassandra Mel and when I thought I was a MAP. Gayfesh was also present in voice calls with me in Poppy’s server, including some that occurred within a few weeks of him ending his friendship with Poppy. Gayfesh showed no signs of aggression towards me during these talks, yet he suddenly decides that I’m a pedophile the moment I criticize him for how he treated Poppy.

This begs the question, if Gayfesh thought I was a pedophile, then why was he fine with me up to this point? This is something that genuinely bothers me about clout seeking Twitter warriors, the fact that they never realize that their accusations against people recontextualizes their prior associations with them. After all, if you make a claim that you saw public figure X on Kiddie Fiddler island, the immediate question that you will be asked is “why were you on Kiddie Fiddler island?”

This isn’t even the only time Fesh has done something like this. He also accused Poppy of violating HIPPA (something that he can only prove by ALSO violating HIPPA), and has accused her of harboring a rapist in her server (something he didn’t bring up until after their falling out, meaning he was fine with said rapist before). So, by Fesh’s own admission, he helped Poppy harbor a rapist and a pedophile in her server, and also helped her cover up illegal activity. I can’t tell what’s more stupid, this shit, or CEO of Fate leaking my Discord server logs immediately after claiming they contain CSEM.

This has recently reached its peak when a streamer called Ruadhan (@ruadhan1334 on Twitter, he’s the same one that said Poppy doesn’t have BPD), has publicly made posts speculating about where to find Poppy’s real life location, and brought up Google Maps on streams to point out the general location of where she lives. Ruadhan has made posts saying that he’s doing this because he believes Poppy is a danger to his local community, and that he needs to “protect this community.” Note, when people say shit like that relating to members of vulnerable communities, that means they want to lynch them.

One may think that this individual is just some fringe lunatic with no real support, but plenty of people have taken to defending Ruadhan, saying that pulling out Google maps and talking about how you live only a short distance away from someone who you claim is a threat to your community isn’t dangerous at all. They also have gone after Poppy for trying to get Ruadhan’s Patreon and Kofi taken down, claiming that this is tantamount to attempted murder because Ruadhan is homeless.

Ignoring the fact that Ruadhan can just switch over to Cashapp or Paypal, ignoring the fact that Ruadhan makes less than a dollar a month on Patreon, and ignoring the fact that there are a ton of charity organizations and food banks in Ruadhan’s area that can be used, let’s just talk about how absurd it is that a rape victim with serious threats on their safety and well being has to prioritize the safety of the lunatic engaging in cyberstalking against them, while they are under immediate threat because of that person.

I’m sorry, are most of these leftists now concerned for the safety of Jan 6th rioters who lost their job or went to prison because of it? Do they also believe believe that Ashli Babbitt was innocent by default and that the DC police murdered an innocent woman? Or are they picking and choosing which lives are valuable and ignoring the risks towards Poppy’s safety because they just want Poppy to get murdered in retaliation for speaking out against her rape? I think we know the answer.

There’s also one weaselly bit of trickery that Ruadhan’s defenders have engaged with, where they deny that Ruadhan tried to doxx Poppy, and ask you to post evidence. This is a lose lose scenario because, if you provide proof, then you are sharing info about Poppy’s real life location and doing their bidding, and if you don’t, they then accuse you of lying and making shit up.

The worst part about this is that Ruadhan has connections to some pretty major players in the online left. This person is followed by three of the four creators of Whiteleaf, the developers of the streaming platform that hosts creators like Vaush, Keffals, Xanderhal, and Demonmama. And yes, they also host Poppy and Zena’s site, meaning that if they decide to stick their neck out for the person who put Poppy’s life at risk, Poppy and Zena could lose their platform. Not only that, but Keffals also follows Ruadhan.

I have no doubt that by that point, people who have had a grudge against Keffals to begin with will be more than willing to weaponize this whole situation simply to hurt her, and many of these people likely won’t care about Poppy to begin with. There’s a reason I’ve made so many comparisons between Poppy’s situation, Keffals’s, and even my own, because this shit will not end if the matter of abuse and trauma is treated as nothing more than streamer drama and blood sports.

Keffals has blocked Poppy on Twitter, and claimed on stream that she did so because Poppy was trying to get her involved in the drama and wouldn’t stop tagging her. Poppy only tagged Keffals three times, and one of them was in reference to Ruadhan being a part of her community. Ruadhan is also present in Keffals stream at the exact moment she mentioned Poppy. Much like ContraPoints before her, Keffals has become conditioned to disregard the pain and suffering of those who meet the same fate as her, which is ironic considering that she was quite upset when ContraPoints did it to her.

I want to make it clear, this is NOT an invitation to start hounding Keffals, or any of the Whiteleaf people, that will only make things worse. Not everything is a matter of attacking and whittling down the sanity of a specific person until they cave. The most likely outcome of all of this is that Keffals and Whiteleaf decide to remain neutral, because I know Poppy is unlikely to go scorched earth against the people who create her site. Additionally, harassing them may make them more likely to take action against Poppy, thus putting her in even further jeopardy.

That being said, think about how fucked up it is that we got here. That we can see someone like Keffals, who was swatted and stalked across multiple countries, and who had every trauma and fear of hers twisted to cause her pain, and have her NOT immediately empathize with the situation faced by Poppy and Zena? Just what level of detachment does one have to reach in order to maintain a position of power even within a community as insignificant as “the online left.”

This is what happens to someone after a community that one calls their home engages in the systematic dehumanization and depersoning of them. You focus entirely on defending yourself and weeding out any potential threats, and you start to distrust your closest allies. Keep in mind, Keffals quite literally messaged Poppy during her drug induced spiral before she went to rehab. And now, she has tossed Poppy aside over the mere perception that she might want the same support from her. The worst part is, there’s no means of holding Keffals to account for this, because any backlash she receives from this will only reaffirm her distrust and lead her to believe she was right to do so to begin with.

https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxL7jWWakObkEbJKtEQ62WaHCItbodEptj?si=Kv8sIdA-_LF9B5xG

The reason I know this is that I’ve almost done the same thing to friends of mine, and only stopped after other friends called me on it. Poppy is not an isolated incident on Keffals part, she almost turned on Vaush as well, and likely only stopped because she realized it would be career suicide. This behavior on Keffals part is incredibly self destructive, and I genuinely believe that she is doing more harm to herself than she is Poppy.

I want to reiterate, the solution to this is NOT “go cancel Keffals.” Cancelling Keffals is what got us here in the first place. I initially did not intend to include this bit about Keffals, but I’m especially concerned about where this will lead. She’s already demonstrated suicidal tendencies, and the trauma she dealt with has severely fucked with her. She frequently talks about how she doesn’t want to participate in drama but keeps getting dragged back into it, and keeps going on the attack.

I’ve experienced something similar last year, and I managed to break out of that cycle because I’m not a well known public figure, and I can easily retreat into the shadows and focus on my writing. I also have a brand that’s focused on something other than drama. Keffals, however, runs a channel primarily focused on drama, and she can’t escape it without also deleting her channel. But doing so involves means giving up her following, which has been her only defense against her stalkers. It would also eliminate her income.

I thought that maybe my experience was a fluke, but seeing this leads me to the conclusion that “the online left” as an institution is every bit as duplicitous and treacherous as the right wingers they claim to oppose. At a certain point, it’s not enough to point to specific individuals and call them out. In a community founded around hate and abuse, being a survivor is a worse crime than being a perpetrator.

This is going to happen again, and more people are going to get hurt. The only way to counter it, is for everyone who is subject to this abuse to offer support to each other, and to resist this backstabbing culture of clout seeking narcissism. And yes, that includes the people called out in this piece. I’m not interested in retribution or payback. Constant punishment and attacks only condition people to believe that hatred and harassment is the only way to achieve one’s goals, which just perpetuates the same culture that lead to all this to begin with.

It may be tempting to take delight in the torment of others, and it’s okay to delight in the occasional bit of Schadenfreude, but at the end of the day, it would be much better for the world to see Hayleigh learn from her reckless behavior and strive not to hurt people like she did Poppy, than it would to see her made miserable and to live in fear and paranoia for the rest of her life. It would also be better to see Gayfesh learn how his actions harm people and to strive towards making the online left a better place, rather than tone policing his allies for the sake of optics and then throwing them to the wolves. And it would be better to see Ruadhan living a healthy life and being able to afford a home and basic necessities, rather than living on the street and engaging in reckless behavior that endangers the lives of vulnerable people.

But they aren’t going to learn from their behavior, because this shit never happens in online discourse. The reason it never happens is because online discourse was never about good morals or character, it’s about brute forcing your way by winning over as many clueless sycophants as you can, and having them attack whoever disagrees.

So that begs the question of “what do we do?” And there’s a simple answer to that: nothing. You leave these clout seeking parasites alone with each other, and let them cannibalize each other. People may not believe Hayleigh is an abuser now, but all she needs to do is piss off the wrong person and then suddenly a lot of people will reconsider. It’s the same reason why so many people were mutuals with me for close to a year before deciding that I’m some sort of devious predator. These people are sheep, so just lead them to the slaughter.

Anyway, here’s a list of prominent accounts and figures who decided to attack Poppy or publicly defend her rapists. I may not be interested in inane blood sports, but I never said everyone else didn’t have to be.

Noehflake (Goth Ms Frizzle) @Noehflake (Poppy’s Rapist)
Luxander @lux_banana
Athena @DeliciousBoogs (Set Poppy up to share DMs with Faeryn so she could clip chimp them)
Faeryn @Faerynnistired
Gayfesh @Gayestfesh (Most prolific proponent of Poppy’s harassment)
Ruadhan @ruadhan1334 (Attempted to Dox Poppy’s house)
Mx Dizzy @OnDaMountainTop (Defended Ruadhan’s doxxing attempt and defended the people who pushed Saige Alexis to attempt suicide)
Hela Vitrum @Hela_Vitrum (One of Poppy’s exes who is also part of her group of stalkers)
@AdmiralPaco (Was responsible for Saige’s suicide attempt, proceeded to join Poppy’s stalkers)
@LadyRayneCloud (Was responsible for Saige’s suicide attempt, engaged in sex pest behavior, proceeded to join Poppy’s stalkers)
@AztecTunes (One of Poppy’s exes, was responsible for Saige’s suicide attempt, sexually harassed Saige, proceeded to join Poppy’s stalkers)
JessicaMetal (Tranarchist) @jessicametal69
Infernatrix Sophia @Sinister_Sophia
Man @PunishedJake2
Beatrice @BastetsPassion
Draco of scotland @MothmanFan3237
beyondsafewords.bsky.social @BeyondSafewords
Public Loser – Immortal Villain Arc @PublicLoserTTV
[email protected] @finitecrystal
MzMilena (canon event arc) @Transpersian (One of Poppy’s exes who is also part of her group of stalkers)
Ellen Degenerate @2Ellen2Degener8

As for what you can do to help, the best recommendation is to offer Poppy and Zena your emotional and financial support, and to speak up for them, as well as anyone else who faces this sort of horrific abuse. One of the most horrific realizations, and one of the most common, is that in a world full of abusers, we only have each other. We may not have numbers, but sometimes, a single person’s actions can be enough to overpower millions. Just one person’s support can mean more than a thousand rape apologist scumbags.

Both Poppy and her partner Saige have a Gofundmes to afford gender affirming surgeries. While they are not directly related to this cause, they could both use any support possible. After all, the best revenge that a survivor of abuse can have against their abuser, is to continue to thrive in spite of their efforts to assure they don’t. What better payback is there than for Hayleigh to see that her attempt to stamp out the reputation of her victim failed so spectacularly?

Poppy’s Gofundme
Saige’s Gofundme

Zena & Poppy’s Channel
Saige Alexis’s Channel

Zena & Poppy’s Website
Zena & Poppy’s Patreon
Saige Alexis’s Patreon

And also, as much as I hate to take the focus off of Zena and Poppy, I also need to ask for similar support, given that I’ve not only experienced a lot of similar shit, but because I’m taking a major risk by posting this. My reputation on lefty Twitter is rancid, and I’ve had to write this knowing that sticking my neck out for her could potentially backfire, and bring some of my own abusers into the mix. I’ve decided to go forwards with this because it’s apparent that what happened to me is not a fluke.

The only way shit like this will change is if we keep speaking up, and refusing to let our voices be drowned out. In my case, I’ve paid the price for my refusal to stay silent, and I lost my Patreon last year due to mass reports from malicious actors. I have recently managed to get approved for SubscribeStar, an alternative platform that functions similarly to Patreon, but my income is a mere fraction of what it used to be. So any support would be appreciated, whether it’s directed towards me or Poppy.

–

If you would like to support me or this site, then please make a donation to my Cashapp ($AnniegaIIa) or Venmo if you would like to see higher quality content with more resources to put towards it. If you don’t want to spend any money on me, then you can also help out by liking my posts on my SubscribeStar, or simply sharing my blog on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit, or anywhere else where others will see it. You can also follow this blog if you would like to be kept up to date on my stuff.