As I write this, my 23rd birthday has just passed a few days ago. Right now I feel… strange. I would not say that I’m depressed but I am not necessarily stimulated either. I wouldn’t say that I feel bad but it does seem like there is something missing; something I should be doing or have done already. It almost seems difficult to process everything. I look back on my life and see how much has changed and also how much has stayed the same. There once was a period where I held no desire to go on living and simply wished for whatever entity or god that exists to strike me down. That is no longer the case for me. Now, I wish to see just how far I can go in life.
And I wrote that paragraph last night and this one is being written the next morning where my eyes are itching like nuts and I feel physically uncomfortable. What I said in that last paragraph is still true but I don’t feel like faking enthusiasm just so I can keep up with the same tone. I feel confused. Like I just tend to be in certain moods for no reason and FUCK MY EYES ITCH LIKE NUTS!!!!
Anyway, here’s the last month’s article recap.
I am fairly satisfied with some of the stuff put up last month. The piece about Zinnia I am especially satisfied with since she not only responded herself, but she also followed me on Twitter as a result. Prior to that point, I assumed that she had no problems with me but wasn’t fond of my more centrist like perspective that tolerated people like Blaire White and Laci Green (Btw, I no longer support Blaire White. After she blatantly insulted Theryn Meyer over her sticking up for her to Ben Shapiro, I could no longer support her in good conscious. What a fucking cunt.). Additionally, she did say I had some good points about her, which does support my hypothesis that she isn’t as aggressive and hostile as some may have thought.
The FEMINAZI review was another one I really liked as I do find it interesting to talk about these games and the review has some of my best humor so far. And of course, there is the Doki Doki Literature Club! review. I liked getting to actually go over the plot bit by bit for once as opposed to just vaguely referring to certain plot events while trying to keep things a surprise.I originally intended to have this be an impressions and Commentary piece, but I just found it more fitting as a straight up review.
It was also a game that I had some really complex feelings on and enjoyed getting to get them all out. In general, I really would like to know what Dan Salvato himself thinks given that he seems like a guy with an interesting perspective on things. I have thought about sending a message to him asking, but the whole social anxiety thing strikes again. I also would like to know if the similarity to the Lavender Town theme in “Sayo-nara” was intentional.
The piece on the Undyne themes took a lot more effort than most VGM pieces took due to not only the amount of tracks, but with just how much there was to examine. Somewhat disappointed no one caught on to the Cannibal Holocaust reference at the end, but that kind requires an actual reader base. And of course, I was satisfied to get a JRPG Update Indie piece out. I admit I wasn’t the most motivated to actually put it together, but considering that the end result was pretty well received, I am glad I did and this definitely motivates me to continue on with future updates.
So, as for future articles, I mentioned in the JRPG Update Indie piece that I will be reviewing Meltys Quest, a nukige made in RPG Maker that seems to have a fairly sizable following among hentai fans (which doesn’t mean much considering that Starless: Nymphomaniac’s Paradise also has a cult following among them) but is unheard of anywhere else. I actually checked this one out by chance because its translator Remtairy responded to my asking for a code. I will say that I wasn’t too fond of the sex scenes, to which I go into pretty extensive detail why, but it involves a lot of philosophical feminist shit that takes a while to explain.
Regardless, I actually did quite enjoy the game overall. I had some fun with its gameplay and the story, while undeniably trashy, had a genuine charm to it that I enjoyed. It just turns out that Remtairy decided the next title they are localizing is developer Happy Life’s previous title “The Bitch JK in RPG“… yeah they are changing the title. I hope to play this one when it comes out as well, especially since it has been described as “more down to earth” than Meltys Quest in terms of sex scenes.
On top of this, I tried to give Gone Home another shot now that I have a decent computer for gaming. I thought that maybe without the lag and having a new political perspective might change my mind. Nope, it still blows. I do however, want to rewrite my review because I am finding more and more issues with my old one, so I’m not going to just copy and paste the old one. In terms of other future game reviews, I still need to write one for The Legend of Dragoon, The Beginner’s Guide, and Inuyasha: Secret of the Divine Jewel, in terms of games i have already played. I am wondering whether or not I should replay The Beginner’s Guide since it has been so long and it is such a short game and whether or no I should play any more of Secret of the Divine Jewel. I don’t know if I have even got halfway through the latter, but it is bad enough that I doubt it’s going to get better. Sure, I have been wrong before but there is also so much better shit I could be playing. I’m not the Angry Video Game Nerd after all.
Oh, and there’s still the Eminem album review. There’s a reason I haven’t done many album reviews; I often feel the need to talk about each individual song and the amount of shit I have to say often varies. I still am working on the piece about my dream game, and also on the feminist analysis piece on Euphoria. As usual, there are also some plans for political pieces.
I have learned that it’s better to not say what future game reviews will be cause I have no idea how long those games take. However, I will say that I now own a Nintendo Switch that I have got as a Birthday present. With it, I also got Super Mario Odyssey, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, and Axiom Verge. I also got ZombiU (Wii U) and Fate/Extella: The Umbral Star (Vita) as presents… and got The Red Solstice and Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs for free through online givaways. Yeah, even when I’m actively avoiding spending money on games, they still fall onto my lap. If only I had the same luck with wom-HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!
But yeah, in terms of stuff I’m currently playing, I’ve been focusing on Megadimension Neptunia VII and A Hat in Time. Nep VII I’ve put over 50 hours into already and still don’t think I’m close to done with, while I’m just starting out on A Hat in Time. The main reason I’m deciding to just stop spending money on games, unless there is a very specific game I’m looking for, is because there is a lot of stuff I want to sink my teeth into but I just can’t seem to retain that childlike sense of excitement to pop in a new game I got right away. As weird as it may sound, I think that sense of excitement causes me to put some games off for a long time. What other reason is there that I haven’t played Persona 4 yet?
One last thing I would like to mention is that some people who work for MangaGamer have shared my Euphoria review, and it naturally feels amazing to have that kind of attention (although I was apparently off about it including an Undertale reference, but I’m leaving it in there with an addendum just cause it’s funny). Considering that one of them even joined my Discord group and wrote her own piece about the game’s personal significance to her, that is immensely satisfying.
I'm looking forward to your other pieces! I actually forgot about that line entirely. It is a pretty amusing coincidence.
Euphoria isn't my game or my story, but seeing you and others connect with something I had some involvement with is so humbling, inspiring, and touching.
— Cafe (@CafeDX) January 19, 2018
Anyway, all that is left is to shout out my patrons as usual, so shout out to Ryumaou, Ray Type, Erin Lopez (she also gave me $20.00 on Paypal, thanks so much sis <3), Cesar Zamudio, April Daniels, and Alex Silvey. I greatly appreciate all your support and am lucky to have all six of you, as well as any other friends and or supporters I have earned thus far or ever will earn.
Anyway, hopefully the rest of 2018 continues to go this smoothly.