TW: Mentions of transphobia, misogyny, suicide, violence, emotional abuse,
I would like to open this piece up with a reminder about the content that I write. I don’t like writing pieces that merely restate opinions that are already commonly expressed. I’m never the type to merely preach to the choir; I instead prefer to write with my detractors in mind and imagine that they are reading this. I am very thorough with my writing, so much so that I am often scarred to post certain things because I know of the multiple ways things can be misinterpreted, and because I know clarification is not always enough.
Throughout the past few weeks, I have been trying to understand gender critical ideology and views more, and this revelation alone was not taken well by some trans followers of mine. I have always been able to get along with people of opposing views and I am strongly against the demonization of entire groups, so that also applies to gender critical feminists. I am also choosing to eschew the term “TERF” in this article for the purposes of at least attempting civility. Lastly, I would like to remind everyone that I make a personal obligation to myself to only write response articles to those whom I possess a modicum of respect for (anyone that doesn’t fit this category that I have written in response to was before I put this obligation into effect). While I find Meghan Murphy’s views on trans people to be heavily prejudiced and uninformed, I at least get the anger from her writing comes from frustration rather than hatred; yes there is a difference.
Despite the strong feelings of hostility that Meghan expresses towards the trans movement, I do sense that there is a part of her that does not want this type of conflict, but simply feels that trans activists will not tolerate any sort of disagreement. In her defense, that is not entirely inaccurate of a lot of trans activists given that even I myself feel like I could easily set them off. I would rather not delve into why at this point so I can stay on subject, but just know that there is a basis for it. Given the amount of hate that she and any gender critical feminist receive, I feel it is important to at least attempt a thoughtful response. This is why I am going to go ahead and write this despite the fact that I find the article itself to be incredibly ignorant and lacking in self awareness. If you would like to read the original for yourself, you can read it here. Despite the fact that I bare no resentment or ill-will towards Meghan, I cannot in good conscious provide any traffic to a piece that demonizes and insults trans women, hence why it is an archive link.
If one was not clear just how many issues there are present within this piece, there is a contradiction… before we even reached the first sentence. The claim that is put up at the start is “If trans activists truly cared about feminism, they would respect women’s spaces,” said very similarly to how an abusive boyfriend would say “if you really loved me you would have sex with me” regardless of how the recipient feels about it themselves. This phrase is used to gaslight the victim into believing that prioritizing self preservation and self interest translates to a lack of care about the abuser.
I can hear one saying “you just accused Meghan of being an abuser, don’t you think that is a bit of a straw man arguments?” and I would respond to that by saying “yes, that is exactly right, it is a straw man.” With the use of this accusation, I have already implanted a negative image of my opponent into the views of my audience based on one sentence without taking any possible intentions into account. The key problem with any accusations of abuse in an online argument is that EVERYONE will see themselves as the victim and their opponent as the abuser due to their own confirmation bias, which demonstrates a very shallow minded and immature view of morality. There ALWAYS has to be some type of motive for someone whenever they say anything, because it is not as if people’s words could be interpreted in multiple different ways or anything. (For clarification, the only reason this article title is given the same scheme is as part of this point)
The reason that I even brought this up is due to a savage hypocrisy that permeates both Meghan’s article and gender critical ideology (and politics in general to be honest). I have no doubt that a lot of those who would have called out my own accusation of gaslighting had I not gone on this tangent have no issue with Meghan herself accusing someone of gaslighting… because they corrected her on Shon’s gender!
How is it not a straw man to assume that this person does not care about women’s safety and rights simply because they also care about trans people? This is all decided literally on one word! If someone telling you that Shon Faye is a woman is “gaslighting,” then what does that make her reply? What makes it okay when you say it Meghan, aside from “because trans people are evil and want to co-opt feminism so they deserve it?” Yet her very next tweet is her cherry picking an example of someone saying “Violence against TERFs is okay because they are evil and deserve it.”
Anyway, the first paragraph of her article essentially comes down to Meghan addressing Shon Faye’s article for The Guardian and cisplaining how the British media is not attacking trans people for reasons that amount to “I don’t like trans people so it doesn’t count.” I’m not even going to dignify the articles linked with any sort of response because almost every major trans activist has likely already countered them and because anyone who seriously believes these things won’t listen to anything I have to say on the matter, although I have already spoke on the matter of children transitioning. Once again, there is that hypocrisy.
She takes such issue with trans women for “redefining womanhood” yet she is perfectly keen on telling trans people what is an is not transphobic, as if it’s something she has any authority on. Meghan does NOT have a positive reputation in the trans community, nor does she possess much knowledge of trans culture as a whole aside from what can be cherry picked to demonize us further. So exactly who is this supposed to convince other than those who already agree with her? You can add preaching to the choir to the ever growing list of logical fallacies used by Meghan.
On top of that, I know that a vast majority of the gender critical crowd likely despises the term “cisplaining” considering how many of them get angry for even having the term “cisgender.” Yet I am sure that many of these same people are very fond of the term “mansplaining.” They especially love that term because they can simultaneously stifle the opinions of trans women AND misgender them because, despite the fact that many of them claim that we are just “playing dress up,””overindulging in sissy porn,” or “dressing in ladyface” (all three of these are actual examples I have seen gender critical feminists use), they seem to know that trans people are hurt by being misgendered. They specifically misgender us BECAUSE they want us to feel bad. Meghan made sure to refer to Shon with a “he” pronoun to communicate a lack of respect. Remember this a few paragraphs later when Meghan starts talking about “empathy.”
The next paragraph has her listing off a bunch of feminists who held transphobic views and received backlash for it, and proceeding to say that because gender critical feminists cannot publicly insult trans women without consequences, that trans people are trying to tell women “what to do and what to think,” literally right after she told trans people what is and is not transphobic! Also one will notice how Meghan’s argument that backlash towards women with anti trans views is framed as an attack on women as a whole invites a lot of comparisons to white supremacist arguments that anyone who is against them hates white people as a whole. It’s just like the quote from “Voltaire.”
Additionally, it is like gender critical feminists do not even know what it is that the public has against them. The key difference between transgendity and gender critical feminism is that, get this… transgendity is NOT a choice while gender critical feminism is! The former is a brain condition while the latter is a subset of an ideology. The objective truth of the matter is that gender critical feminists CHOOSE to distrust trans women. Note that this is without addressing any of the reasons why they do so considering that even if all trans women WERE violent, unstable, narcissistic rapists who want to derail the feminist movement, it is theoretically possible to delude one’s self into thinking things are fine, while trans people cannot stop being trans (and most of us know from experience).
Of course, I would never want myself to be included in women’s spaces for solely my own well being if it puts women at serious risk, and neither would most trans women. Gender critical feminists however, view letting trans women into their spaces as allowing this to happen due to their own prejudices about trans women. Unsurprisingly, most feminists don’t stand against trans people because they realize that we share a common oppressor AND because of the increased focus on intersectionality. Not to mention that most feminists are capable of spotting the same techniques used by their oppressors and will object to them being used against another oppressed minority.
I understand that what drives gender critical feminists to dislike people such as myself is not entitlement or anger; it is fear. Despite the tone of this article up to this point, I don’t hate gender critical feminists nor do I want them to feel as though they need to bow to me or to put my feelings before their own. I don’t want that, and I never wanted that. I specifically do not want that because I know what it feels like to live under the constant expectation of putting other people’s happiness before your own.
I have often been told that my writing is far more articulate than most people my age. I am 22 years old, and have been told that my writing looks more like what they would expect from someone twice that age. The entire reason for this is because I needed to develop it in response to a lack of verbal communication. In addition to gender dysphoria, I also have aspergers. I don’t know as much about aspergers as I do about gender dysphoria, but I can say that it certainly makes the whole “interaction with others” thing difficult. I was often too nervous or scared to say what I really felt, and the few times I did, I was taken advantage of by people who likely knew it was too difficult for me to respond verbally. I also suffered from severe depression, and I have instinctively learned to never seek out help, because parents did not have the patience to fix anything. My dad does not even ask “what’s wrong” when I give a negative response to him asking “how are you doing?” He instead just puts his hands up and walks away.
I am also a deeply philosophical person, mainly because I had almost no social interaction throughout school except with a group of friends I managed to fall into and occasionally made a reply to. As such, I spent a lot of time both depressed and alone, which gave me more and more time to think to myself, most of which pertained to “why am I so depressed?”
There is a stereotype that trans activists are loud, abrasive, and forceful, and that they will try and stomp out any dissent. This leads gender critical feminists to assume that we are all violent and entitled men who have been given everything our entire lives, when most of us are only this way because the last few years were the first time in history that society has our backs, and that we actually matter. Trans people are actively discouraged from coming out and are shamed specifically because cis people think our existence inconveniences them. Parents of trans people often act like they were just told their child has cancer if they come out as trans even in cases where the parent is pro trans. They often get so stressed out at the need to learn new pronouns and the horrific thought of their trans daughter *gasp* WEARING FEMALE CLOTHING!!!! It’s been almost three years since I came out and my dad still is not comfortable with me wearing a dress. Even when they are accommodating to us, trans people are taught that our mere existence is a burden on the lives of those around us and that we should be lucky with anyone who even tolerates our existence.
The feminist movement is one of the few subcultures that accepts us and allows us to be ourselves, yet there are still a subsection of them who think that us merely existing is a threat to them, and the only way we are deserving of any respect and empathy os if we stay in our lane. There are still those that use the same prejudiced arguments historically used against gay people, black people, and EVEN WOMEN, against us because they have convinced themselves it’s okay in this specific instance. It is not as if there were any women that wanted to keep women of color and lesbians out of female spaces because they were too worried about the possibility of them being attacked by them (but were never worried about the statistically more likely possibility of being attacked by someone of their own race or sexuality).
No, instead, EVERYTHING is some kind of excuse because gender critical feminists just flat out don’t like us, and they simply continue to look for whatever justifies said hate instead of maybe trying to talk to a trans woman themselves outside of a Twitter war. This is why it is pointless to try and prove that transgendity has a scientific basis, to provide any statistics that contradict their claims, or to even debunk the rest of this article, because we all know that it isn’t about “male socialization” or fear of cis men exploiting the system, or trans women “knowing what it’s like to be a woman.”
The truth of the matter is, gender critical feminists likely do feel bad for us and think we need the support; they just don’t want to be the ones to do it. They think that things such as supports, rights, and services should just be “made ourselves” because they can’t be bothered to even see us as women. Despite knowing the fact that as they know what kind of vicious hate we are exposed to as”gender nonconforming men”, they still think that keeping trans women out of women’s shelters to be a “build your own shelter” kind of thing. This shows that gender critical feminists hold a “not my problem” perspective towards us.
While trans shelters is an idea that is worth pursuing, if only because it would be more guaranteed for trans people to be safe from abuse by cis people, the problem is that even if they are built; the tension will not stop. Historically, the phrase “separate but equal” is not seen in a positive light, and for good reason. It all comes back to prejudice; because you think we are men and will abuse you. I’m not even going to dignify this type of discussion anymore.
Note that I say “anymore” because I seriously have thought about it. I am a very non confrontational woman, and I prefer to assume that my opponents also desire a peaceful solution. As I mentioned previously, I know what this kind of fear and despair feels like. I would not wish such a feeling on even the most heinous of criminals. I don’t want to pick fights with anyone, because I have the habit of trying to fix everyone else’s problems. I actively need to force myself to talk tough to anyone, because it’s just not something I enjoy. Any anger I have is an “in the moment” thing and I tend to regret it later even when I can’t think of a reason why, and truth be told, I did not want to write this piece the way I did initially.
What I planned to do at first was to act nicer to Meghan than most trans activists have been. I sincerely wanted to know what it was that made her and so many others hate my kind so much. And yes, I have even seriously thought of whether or not trans women belonged in women’s spaces, or if I should really be trying to demand that others call me a woman. I have even thought of whether or not I should detransition. And the truth is; I never came to a conclusion.
Instead, I found out that the more I think about these things, the worse I feel as a person. I have pondered these questions for multiple days until suicidal thoughts began emerge, and they emerged stronger than ANY time in my life prior, and there were three times that this happened. The first two were while talking with a gender critical feminist that I had a surprisingly civil and thoughtful conversation with. I could tell that both of us became frustrated with the other’s arguments, but we both continued because we both knew that there were rarely any attempts to empathize with each other. As such, I pushed myself to think things that my brain was trying to push me away from. I felt horrible because I really did want to discover what the answers were, and see if i could reach some sort of compromise. Thankfully, the woman I talked to was very understanding and even clarified that she doesn’t have a problem with me and that the issues comes with extremist trans activists like Laurelai Bailey and Zinnia Jones. The third time was right before I started writing this article, while I was thinking about how to respond properly.
So when any gender critical feminists say that trans activists “don’t empathize’ with women, keep what I just said in mind. Even thinking about what you want from us… has unhealthy reactions on us, yet you STILL have trans women who want solidarity with you. You rarely, if ever, find trans activists that misgender GCFs or say that they aren’t real women. Hell you even have trans women who side with you over their own trans sisters. And you want to say we don’t empathize with you?
No, we do empathize with you very much, and that is precisely why trans people are so angry at you. You know what it is like to be an oppressed minority, yet still choose to inflict the same feelings of hopelessness and despair on us. Your sense of fear overcomes your own sense of empathy, and you think the minor risk that comes from accepting trans women is worth more than our own well being, yet when we have the same reaction to you, you are completely baffled as to why.
Final Thoughts: If you are a gender critical feminist and have read this far; thank you (doubly so if Meghan herself is reading, I hope there’s no hard feelings). Even if you think everything I said was complete bullocks, the fact that you took the time to read this at least shows that you care about what us trans people have to say. I have said this before in previous articles and I will say it again here; I won’t claim to be right about everything, and I especially will not act as if I got your motivations correct. I’m simply going based on what it looks like from the outside looking in. I have spoken with more than one gender critical feminist on peaceful terms and I have also started to familiarize myself with influential feminist literature more.
I would just like to make it known that if you have any serious questions that you would like to ask me, or serious concerns about trans people; feel free to ask me. Even outside that, I would just like to let it be known that I do care about you as well, even if you may not believe it. I think about this subject a lot and how I don’t want to fight any of you or to hurt any of you, and wish you all the best. It is precisely because of this that I have written this piece. I’ve been on this road before, and it is not a pleasant experience. I don’t just say this because I’m a trans girl and want acceptance, but I do worry about a lot of you as well. Additionally, if any of you need anyone to talk to, dare I say… a friend, you can feel free to hit me up. I do sincerely hope we can work out this conflict, because just imagine what kind of power we’d have working together.
And truth be told, I don’t think any of you want this either, and it is simply because we won’t stop pushing to be allowed in your spaces. The irony is that I have heard the phrase “my safety is more important than your feelings” often repeated by both gender critical feminists and trans activists in regards to each other. People are naturally predisposed to prioritize self preservation, and asking anyone else to make a huge sacrifice and saying they are selfish and narcissistic is far from empathetic. I’m sure plenty of you have thought heavily about accepting trans women as well.
Meghan says we are the ones without empathy, but how can you expect us to empathize with you when you won’t even believe us about our gender? Meghan has repeatedly asked the question of “what does it even mean to misgender someone?” Such a question is trans 101 material. It is the act of referring to someone by the a gender they don’t identify with. “But if that is the case then who isn’t misgendered? None of us ever consented to our own gender.”
If that is the case Meghan, then answer me this; why don’t you transition? You clearly carry a lot of resentment for being born a woman. How do you know that isn’t gender dysphoria? Is that why so many gender critical feminists assume trans women are MRAs? Because the only way one could even WANT to be a woman is if they believe in “female privilege?” Regrettably, I once DID hold MRA beliefs. They were not beliefs of the “women won’t sleep with me, damn feminazis!” kind more so in the “I was increasingly insecure and frustrated with what my masculinity limited me from doing that I DID believe in an absurd concept known as “female privilege.” It was actually transitioning that sent me AWAY from that path.
Yeah yeah I know, some gender critical feminists are going to say I haven’t changed, but it often feels like their entire standard of “being a real woman” tends to conveniently overlap with those who agree with their ideology. It is always the worst things that have ever happened to women that they feel provides the experience of true oppression, and that this is how society separates men and women; or rather, how it creates them.
To loosely paraphrase the late Andrea Dworkin, “gender differences are not emphasized, they are created, and perpetuated in the name of morality.” To clarify, the original quote was about Chinese foot binding, and how this was not a natural difference between men and women; it was enforced. If a Chinese woman living during that time period did not have tiny feet that can fit into 4 inch shoes, they were told that they look like men. Take this excerpt for instance.
If you thought that men mansplaining femininity to trans women was bad, here you see that they do it to cis women as well. The entire notion of beauty is simply a way that men can hurt women. The go to insult for any woman, regardless of their actual appearance, is to call them ugly. The stereotype that feminists are 400 lbs is often the go to insult, despite the fact that telling a feminist they are ugly is like telling an atheist that they will go to hell, or at least it is to those who are thick skinned enough. For fucks sake, our orange overlord once called the winner of Ms. Universe, an international beauty pageant, “Miss Piggy.” A woman can literally win a contest based around who is the most beautiful person in the world, and that still won’t be enough to not have her appearance insulted by chauvinistic men. Yes, there are some men who do experience this, but having lived as both a man and a woman, the difference is incomparable. This is almost exclusively a woman’s issue. So then tell me, if trans women are not real women, then WHY THE FUCK does every sexist internet troll have an unsolicited opinion about our appearances?
These people know that we want to be seen as women, so they specifically attack how well we “pass” because it will be the most hurtful. Trans women get harassed or assaulted in public for not “passing” well. Some of us even get killed for it. It is obvious that these people see us as very ugly women as opposed to “gender nonconforming men” because this type of shit is rarely, if ever, used against men even if they are gay. Additionally, there is no way to win in this situation because people who are prejudiced against trans women are more likely to interpret even a cis woman’s appearance as “male”
And yes, gender critical feminists do this kind of shit all the time as well. Their entire approach is to make trans women feel less secure in their “authenticity” as a woman by using the same patriarchal techniques that have been used against them. If we don’t pass, they make them feel ugly. If they ever say something that isn’t kind and “ladylike” then it’s an obvious sign of “male socialization,” if we are TOO effeminate then we have an idealized perception of womanhood and don’t know what it is actually like to be one. And god help you if you are even remotely sex positive or like anime or games. After all, who wouldn’t trust the words of someone who has spent years trying to normalize pedophilia? Anything is perfectly fine as long as it keep those trannies out of our bathrooms!
And you want to lecture us about “empathy, while you are also saying that our mere existence and desire for acceptance is “a danger to women?” How is it possible for trans people to empathize with someone who thinks your kind is a threat to their well being? How many of us can even HOPE to have a mature dialogue, when the mere act of not misgendering us disgusts you and is interpreted as “gaslighting.” All this tells us is that you are not even willing to put in the common courtesy to refer to us as the right gender despite knowing how much it upsets us? How can we hope to have a dialogue when you say we are narcissistic for seeking equal rights and then cisplaining to us how we totally have equal rights? How can you expect us to empathize when the typical gender critical reaction to trans suicide rates is to accuse us of fabricating it for the sole purposes of manipulation? This is literally an example of you going out of your way to avoid empathizing with us, and to justify your prejudice towards an oppressed minority. How can we trust you, when you can’t even trust us?
So to bring this back to my previous question, why is it that you won’t transition Meghan? We aren’t the ones trying to stop you or to say that one will never be anything outside of their assigned gender; that’s what your side is saying. After all, women in the Middle East can’t opt out of oppression, so neither should anyone else! This is roughly the response I have seen from countless gender critical feminists who seem to have no idea what they are implying with this argument. Because the women in the Middle East can’t identify as men to get out of oppression, they shouldn’t be able to in the US either.
Think of the hypothetical situation where Meghan DOES come out as a trans man, or even as non binary. Where would her gender critical allies be then, and who would be coming to your aid? Her gender critical allies expect her not to transition for political purposes, because seeking one’s own individual happiness goes against the end goal. Believe me, I WANT to be wrong on this point!
I assume that most likely, Meghan is not a closet trans man, nor are most gender critical feminists. In fact, a number of them say how if society was as “politically correct” back then as it is now, then their parents would have raised them as boys. But I thought that gender was a fabrication used solely to oppress women, so why would it be such a bad thing to have been raised as one if life is so much better as a male? Instead, wouldn’t it have been better to have been socialized as a man if it allows you to bypass all of the cruelty that women experience? It may not be allowed in the Middle East, but it’s certainly allowed in most major western countries, and the only people trying to stop it are the ones that YOU choose to ally yourself with.
Plot Twist; the question was rhetorical, I already know the answer. It’s because gender IS, in fact, real. That does not mean that gender roles or gender stereotypes ARE real, or that literally any commonly held beliefs about gender are. Gender truly IS nothing more than one’s sense of self, and the idea of identifying as the gender that you are not comfortable with creates a primal reaction of unease and discomfort. There is only one documented instance of trying to force a cis person to live as the opposite gender, and that person was David Remier; we all know how that turned out. I hope we can agree that this was a notably disturbing and tragic happening, but there is more to be exposed from it. The idea that gender is entirely learned was Dr. Money’s own hypothesis, one that he concluded before realizing how much he screwed up David’s life.
Does any of this sound familiar to you? Sounds an awful lot like the story of damn near every trans person ever! But somehow, all of this shit is okay if it happens to trans people and they just have to learn to accept themselves, almost as if we deserve it for the mere crime of being trans and wanted to be treated like a human being. And no, do not even start with that fucking Swedish study whose OWN DIRECTOR disavowed. It’s quite clear what the meaning behind all of this is, you just flat out don’t like us. I know this for certain because I have tried to explore every other possibility.
And yes, the trans movement is not free of shitty people either, as I’ve had no issue with calling these people out in the past. If this was not the case, then this wouldn’t be an issue to begin with. If you really are concerned or take issue with any of what major trans activists are saying, why not ask them yourself? Having closely followed activists like Zinnia Jones and Riley J Dennis, I can tell you that they likely would not mind answering any questions or concerns you may have if you actually want to know and aren’t just trying to get a “gotcha” response. I’ve followed them closely, and I can tell that both of them are extremely frustrated by how their words are being taken by those who never even asked them their own side of the story. Hell, I specifically know that Zinnia has the tendency to say things in ways she doesn’t realize could be misconstrued, in fact I already have an article on her in the works. And no they don’t hate women. In fact, if you took gender politics out of it, you’d see there are a lot of similarities. And if you are scared to go ask them, then I’ll have your back.
Myself, and likely most trans people, want to empathize with you on some level. The problem is, how are we supposed to empathize with hatred of ourselves? A lot of you have already decided you hate us without even meeting us, how are we supposed to empathize with that? You put so many god damn words in our mouths that we don’t know how to take it, and the only thing we can assume is “these are evil people that hate me for existing” and to be honest, I can’t blame them for thinking that. As I’ve said, I’ve tried to consider their words, and doing so would mean accepting that we just don’t deserve true acceptance, I don’t deserve to be be seen as a real woman, I’m simply asking too much to ask anyone else to change themselves to accommodate me, and the inevitable conclusion that I would just be better off if I was never born.
Worst of all is that, if it were just me, I wouldn’t expect anyone to. If it were just me then I would just off myself as I’d be nothing but a burden on the world. I’m almost incapable of acting solely in my own interest. It is instead the future of my trans brothers and sisters, and every cis ally that we have why I continue to press forward. Truth be told, I would not call myself a feminist either if it were not for the fact that I felt many others hold similar beliefs but have their voices silenced. To be honest, I’m more disgusted when GCFs misgender cis allies than when they misgender trans people. Despite knowing better, a part of me on the inside is lead to feel that we deserve it, but the fact that they turned “gender” as a tool used against those who disagree and how they feel they have a say in revoking one’s womanhood if they step out of line. This is why I can’t empathize with gender critical feminism.
I have heard from a surprising number of GCFs something along the lines of “if we could just let the good ones in then we would” when referring to trans women. This alone proves that the goal post will shift depending on which trans people they like. While it is nice to know they aren’t as shallow as we initially thought, it just shows that they view the female gender as a club or a title, as opposed to half of the population. But let me guess, if I think trans women should be allowed in women’s spaces then I just don’t understand the risk that this puts women at, right? And yes, maybe I don’t, and maybe I never will; but then again neither do a lot of cis women. What makes your feelings more important than those who support us? What gives you the right to speak for them to?
And in turn, you may never understand WHY we desire what we do, and perhaps I can’t simply expect one to accept whatever we say at face value. However, it seems as if GCFs in earnest do not know WHY they prompt so much anger. After the type of abuse at the hands of men, why wouldn’t their first assumption be to assume this is just another example?
Well, let me ask you this GCFs; what would you do in our situation? Do you honestly think you would back down if you were in our shoes? Why should we believe you would back down to women then, when you can’t back down to women now? Judging by what you’ve gone through, if you were trans on top of that, you’d be your own worst fears. Or maybe you wouldn’t, maybe you WOULD be a better person and would put others before yourself, but I don’t believe you. It’s not like you ever believed anything we said before, why would you be any different if you were in our position? In fact, you ARE in our position based on the sound of things, and it still is not enough.
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